RP#3 Dale Earnhart Sr.

Saturday Night @ Joe Jones condo......

This is a fact. There are rednecks everywhere! No matter where you go you will find a redneck and they will find each other no matter what, especially if one redneck is throwing a party and there is beer. Throw in the fact that this party will be on the beach and they will come out of the woodwork. It's a proven fact. After NASCAR Billy's big win a few hours earlier, Nanook took him over to Joe's place to celebrate and somehow he found a bunch of fans to celebrate with him.

The music is loud as hell and the ice chests are packed with ice and beer and a huge bond fire is blazing as Billy and people like him are hanging around the fire drinking beer, dancing and if they wouldn't get in deep shit about it, they would be shooting' their guns. There must be like 100 people hanging at the party and Billy is proudly wearing the UWL Tag Team title around his waist. Nanook is off to the side by the deck working on a bottle of scotch when his phone rings.

Nanook "Hello? What?"

The music is so loud Nanook is having a hard time hearing the person on the other side of the line.

Nanook "Billy? Yeah he's here!!!! What was that? What? Arch Stanton? What about him? What?"

Just then two young ladies walk up to Nanook and take his drink from his hand and set it down on the railing. Nanook has always gotten shy around good looking women and he ignores his phone call.

The one girl places her hand on Nanook's chest. "Are you Nanook?" She asks.

Nanook nods yes.

"Billy's manager?" she asks.

Again Nanook nods his head.

"Then we have something for you!" she goes and her and her friend drop their tops and flash Nanook.

Nanook stares at everything he can see and it looks like it's the first time he's ever seen a half naked female before. He looks like this every time. As Nanook pulls the phone from his ear Nanook says into the phone "Arch Stanton is fine. Bye."

The girls cover up and giggle and Nanook is all smiles as they share a group hug and we fade from the party with NASCAR Billy using the UWL Tag Team Title to pop the top off of beer bottles........



Sunday morning and Nanook stumbles out onto the deck wearing sweat pants and a unbuttoned shirt. He got wasted last night and crashed on the floor of the kitchen. He woke up to his phone buzzing about with messages from Summer, his wife. The deck and the beach at Joe's condo is wrecked. Empty bottles everywhere and people sleeping in the sand. His phone buzzes again and Nanook sets his phone down.

"Not now woman!"

He rubs his heads and staggers his way towards the sand. After a bit Nanook finds NASCAR Billy cuddled up with some random girl in the sand. She's wearing Billy's old Bill Elliot Budweiser shirt and little else. They both are using the tag strap as a pillow. Nanook drops down to one knee as he can't just bend over and tap Billy on the shoulder in his current state. He pokes Billy in the shoulder.

"Billy...get up!"

Billy swats Nanook's hand away.

"Come on Billy! Get up."

Billy swats Nanook's hand away again. His female companion starts to stir as well.

"Dude we have to get going. We're going to miss our plane. Get up!"

Billy opens his eyes, you can tell he is way overhung. "Man! Go away!"

"We HAVE to get going Billy!"

His female bed buddy opens her eyes and slowly sits up and Billy's arm falls off of her. She blinks several times and pulls her legs up to cover herself up. She looks around and looks down at Billy. Nanook squeezes the bridge of his nose quickly and pokes Billy again.

"Dude!"

Billy rolls onto his back and glares at Nanook "Really dude? Really? I'm here sleepin' away, cuddling' up with this fine girl here and you want to bug me about catching a plane? I'm here with my friends!"

Nanook looks around and then looks down at Billy. "Your friends? What is this pretty lady's name then?"

The girl glances over her shoulder at Billy. You can already see the look of shame on her face and Billy looks at her. "Jenny right?"

She sighs and smacks Billy hard on the stomach. "It's KELLY! Asshole."

"Kelly!!! Oh I knew that! I'm sorry!"

"Yeah sure you did! Pig!" Kelly picks up her pants that were next to her and stands up and storms off.

"Kelly!!! Come back!!!! Kelly!!!! Hey! I want my shirt back!"

Kelly doesn't look back nor respond to Billy. She walks along the beach putting her pants back on. Billy looks sad as she walks away. He slowly stands up as Nanook gets back to his feet.

"Damn! Man! That was my last Bill Elliot shirt! God Damn it!"

"Billy. You won't have to worry about your last....who was it?"

"Bill f*cking Elliot. Awesome Bill from Dawsonville!"

"Right. Listen I will get you a new Elliot shirt."

"That was a vintage shirt from 82 man! You can't just buy one of them!"

"I will search one down! Look! We need to get back on the plane and get back to Knoxville."

"Fer what?"

"Well I have a surprise for you for one. But you have to get ready for your match next week."

"Surprise? What surprise?"

"A gift really."

"What is it?"

"You'll see. But look. I don't know how this happened but next week you're facing Arch Stanton!"

"That old timer who fought Jay Scarlet? That's him right?"

"Yes. Billy we have a lot of work this week! Get your shit and let's go."

"Okay...fine.....hold on. Where is that title?"

"YOU LOST THE TITLE!!!!"

"No! Of course not. Kelly was wearing that last night. That's all she was wearing. Dude it was freakin' awesome!"

"Where is it Billy?"

"It's uhm...." Billy starts looking around kicking at the sand and after a couple swipes he kicks it up. Billy picks it up and the title is full of sand, it looks dull and looks like it spent the whole night in the sand. Billy shakes the sand out of the belt and slings it over his shoulder and looks at Nanook with a smile on his face. "Found it! Let's go!"

Nanook shakes his head. "Oh boy. Do you have allot to learn."

"Dis here title makes me look good son! Arch Stanton wished he looked dis good!"

Nanook puts his hand on Billy's shoulder and looks at him in the eye. "You better hope Arch doesn't snap your leg in two like Hulk Hogan had his broken back in the day."

"I'm the Champ! I'm NASCAR Billy! No one can beat me! I'm a natural at this! Watch me school that old guy!"

Nanook pats Billy on the shoulder. "You keep telling yourself that. Come on let's go."

FTB