RP#33

"Oh dear god...."

The only sounds Billy utters as he slowly sits up after waking up in the bed of his El Camino. After successfully defending the tag straps with Emma against Rabid Angel he did what he promised he would do and that was throw one hell of a party, and party he did. It raged Saturday night when he got home, into Sunday and all day Sunday and now, here he is Monday morning waking up in the bed of his car. All over the field where his camper is parked at is a bunch of beer cans, empty red cups, empty Manson jars and random articles of clothing all over the place. There doesn't seem to be too many of the party goers left but a few souls are left sleeping in the grass and up around what is left of the camp fire. Who ever Billy shared the back of his car with is also gone as well but they left behind a fancy lacy bra with a number written across the one cup with a black sharpie. Billy holds it in his hand and runs his thumb along the lacy edge of the cup and struggles to remember who she was.

"Oh man.....damn it! I was doing so good too."

Billy sets the bra down next to him on the pile of blankets and flattened air mattress and scoots his way down to the tail gate and sits on the edge of the tail gate for a second. He picks up a shirt with his toes that was in the grass by him and he snaps the shirt a couple of times to shake anything out of it and holds up the shirt.

"Nickleback? Who da hell is dat?" Billy says as he has no clue who they are but puts the shirt on anyways. He slowly stands up wearing the Nickleback shirt and his boxers. He searches around for something to wear, shorts, jeans, sweats, anything and he comes up empty handed. He stretches and yawns and scratches his butt before stumbling off towards his camper. He kicks some cups out of his way as he makes his way to the door to the camper. Once there he opens the door and a bunch of cups and beer cans come tumbling out of the camper. Billy takes this all in for a second before kicking them out of the way. He steps into his trailer and closes the door behind him........



The next day a cleaned up and sober NASCAR Billy is picking up the last of trash and stuffing a trash bag and tying it and tossing it the back of his car and he pauses and takes his work gloves off and wipes the sweat from his forehead.

"Dear god I have to stop doing dis. I gots a butt chewing from my Uncle's 2nd cousin 'bout da mess and da noise. Ima been pounding nuttin' but water fer the past 24 hours and I have to admit it, Ima fellin' better. I can't remember how much I drank....but damn. Ima out of shine. I think I have like 100 bucks in empty cans and who knows how many empty cups and I had to pick up each and every single one of them. I swear to god dis is da last time Ima throwing a party like dis ever again. I must be gettin' old er something but I can't keep on doin' dis."

Billy puts his foot on the rear bumper of his El Camino and smirks.

"Ah who am I kidding! Da next time I defend my belt and win dat match, Ima be right back here partin' it up!"

Billy can't help but to laugh. He takes his foot off of the bumper and turns towards the camera and hooks his thumbs in his pockets of his jeans.

"All kidding aside dat was a big win fer Emma and I. I showed everyone in da UWL just why I am da best tag team champion in the history of da UWL! Period! And Emma....Emma stepped up to da plate and knocked it out of da park. Der is no doubt why Emma is one half of da tag team champions. We showed everyone in da UWL dat we are da only team in the da UWL worth a damn! And if and when Pine Baron and Kahzir ever git der heads out of der asses and you two decided to git into da ring with us...."

Billy chuckles.

"Den you two will learn why we are da best team in da UWL....ever! When and if dat day ever comes. And to all of des new people joining da UWL here lately. If you think you can bump off Billy and Emma, den you need to guess again. Der is no easy win over me fellers."

Billy reaches in his back pocket and pulls out a can of chew. He taps the top of the can a couple of times.

"So I had to git on my phone over der and see who I's gots dis weeks and long and behold I drew Winterborn."

Billy opens the can of chew and takes a pinch out and stuffs his lip. He snaps the can closed and pauses for a second to enjoy chew in his lip again.

"Oh yeah dat hit da spot. Couldn't chew around Emma yous know. I was havin' withdraws from no chew. Da headache I was gittin'....man it was brutal. Almost as brutal as watchin' Winterborn's career so far here in da UWL. Personally I have nuttin' against you Winterborn. You seem like a nice guy. Hard worker and you seem to have everything you need to be like me."

Billy turns and reaches into the bed of his El Camino and pulls out a spit cup and the UWL Tag Team title. Billy slings the title over his shoulder and holds it with his left hand, a rare sight to see Billy displaying the title this way. He spits in his spit cup.

"A champion. Not da tag team champion because let's face it, Ima da best. But I don't see a reason why you couldn't beat say.......Alan Christopher fer da TV title. I mean we are talking about Alan Christopher here Winterborn. I's knows you better den him. Hell I dunno see why you couldn't take on big bad Karma and take his title. Ever since I arrived in da UWL I see you Winterborn. I see you in what Joe and Nanook would say, mailing it in. And I dunno why?"

Billy spits in his cup.

"Are you like Joe? Not into da girls er something? Man Ima gots to tells you. With tis around yer waist....."

Billy glances at the title.

"Da women.....dey love to party with someone who is a proven winner. Someone who has gold around der waist because dat tells em dat Ima a winner and a winner never loses because losers never win and dat is what you are Winterborn."

Spits.

"A loser. Ima not even sure dat you qualify to be a under...."

Spits

"Achiever. Yer like one of dem under funded teams in NASCAR. You're gunna be just like SWAN Racing Winterborn. Nuttin but a start and park team, just hoping to make da race and earn some points to earn enough cash to do dis again next year but at da end of da day Winterborn."

Spits.

"You're nuttin' but a non factor in da outcome of da race. Plus you're so many laps down you never had a shot to win anyways."

Billy pauses.....
And spits in his spit cup again.

"Swan racing......dey folded last week. Closed up shop and called it a day. Dis week Winterborn. With all of dem losses pilin' up on ya. I can't help but wonder if you should go dat route too. You have all the skills in da world Winterborn. Der is no reason why you can't be a champion in da UWL. I mean, Jesus man, Alan Christopher is a two time TV champion! Dat has to make you mad. It makes me mad and I have a belt. Maybe you should just pack it in too."

Billy takes the title down off his shoulder after setting his spit cup down on the bumper of his El Camino.

"Cuz after dis week! When you're lookin' up at da lights again, den you'll know why if you ain't first...."

Billy holds up the title up next to his mug and looks at it for a second.

"Den you just suck!"

Fade out.