RP#4 (Co written with Johnny Bonecrusher)

Johnny called and Yugo answered and now the two will meet to hatch a plan to kick start the Soul Crushing Broken Bones tour of death on the unexpecting MSW! It's a tour that gets started when Johnny and Yugo face off against Leo Banks and Chad Vargas. They agreed to meet at Starbucks and Yugo traded in his trusty horse Pinto for his iron horse.....

A blacked out 2014 Honda Fury.

Yugo rolls into Houston Texas on his iron horse wearing his black cowboy hat as he pops up on the sidewalk and parks right in front of Stabucks at the corner of Shepherd and North Gray, where there are two Starbucks across from each other. As Yugo kicks the kickstand down and climbs off his bad ass cycle he glances at the two Starbucks to figure out which one Johnny is at.

It didn't take long to figure it out. One was busy and the other, not so much. Yugo pulls off his riding gloves and drops them on the seat and makes his way over to the non busy Starbucks......

Yugo kicks open the door and steps in the doorway and stops. There are a couple of people there and everyone looks up at Yugo except for one person who has his back to him. That person being

Johnny Bonecrusher

But first Yugo needs a coffee. He walks up to the counter with his spurs making their sound as they clang off of the wooden floors. Once at the counter, a nice looking girl smiles.

"Welcome to Starbucks! How can I help you?"

"Miss." Yugo says then touches the brim of his hat. "I'll take a coffee. Black."

"Blonde roast? Dark roast? Would like cream or sugar?"

"Sweetie. Coffee is coffee and I don't need fancy things like cream and sugar in my coffee. When I am on the trail, you can only get coffee one way. Black."

"Okay....Small medium or large?"

"Large. Please."

"Your name?" She asks.

"Why do you need my name?"

"So we can let you know when your coffee is ready."

"All you have to do is pour it in a cup......."

Yugo gets a blank stare from the girl behind the counter. He sighs.

"Yugo. Yugo Phailous."

In the corner of is Johnny Bonecrusher and he glances over his shoulder upon hearing the name Yugo Phailous. Yugo pays for his coffee and the girl pours him a cup of dark roast. She then smiles and hands Yugo his coffee. Yugo turns and takes a sip of his coffee.

"Thank you."

Yugo says as he slowly makes his way over to where Johnny is sitting at. Johnny leans back in his chair as Yugo steps up to the table. With one hand around his cup of coffee, Johnny glances out the window that is looking out over the intersection and looks at Yugo's bike.

"Johnny. Nice to meet you finally. I'm Yugo...."

Johnny kicks the chair out across from him and glances up at Yugo. This being the first meeting between the two.

"Man, I know who you are! You don't have to tell me nuthin'. Oh hey, nice ride you have over there, even it is a... Honda..."

He guessed, not knowing shit about cars. Yugo sets his coffee down and takes his hat off and as he sits down he sets his hat down on the table.

"It's a nice ride. Someday when I can afford it I'll get a soft tail but that is all I could afford on a cattle driver's salary you know."

Johnny leans forward and looks Yugo right in the eyes and jams his index finger on the top of the table.

"Listen up, Yugo! I didn't invite you here for small talk. This is all about da bidniz! I have a reputation to uphold, son! I don't give a... dizzamn about anything else but beating Team Cheo. Understand me?"

Yugo takes a sip of his coffee and nods.

"So you wanna do this then?"

"Let's get to it, Yoog!" Johnny says as he stands up.

---

The modern day updated version of the "Legion of Doom" according to Yugo stand in front of the MSW banner looking like a united team.

Yugo Phailous "Take a good look MSW! Look at the future of the MSW! We're cocked and loaded and ready to crush the competition!"

Yugo cups the one side of his mouth and steps towards the camera.

Yugo Phailous "Including the ladies division if you know what I mean!"

Johnny Bonecrusher "Aww, shit! But hey, first we're gonna start with the two biggest jerk offs in the MSW today! Team Shitstorm, i.e.: Cleo Spanks and that Tracy Smothers-lookin' Smotherf***er!"

Yugo Phailous "Johnny did you catch Chad the other day working out? Sitting in his garage with his hot wheels on a table "working out" for the match? He said he was just chilling out."

Johnny Bonecrusher "I think what he meant to say was he was looking to get... cocked."

Yugo Phailous "My cousin knows a guy who's into dudes but that's besides the point. This Chad Vargas seems to have a bone to pick with me, Yugo Phailous all because when we were both in the ring together, I got my hand raised in victory while he....he went on to have another dark match. Funny thing is Chad. You didn't see Yugo Phailous have 2 dark matches to prove himself to the powers that be in the MSW. They knew right away, that Yugo Phailous is a winner. The real deal. Just like my tag team partner Johnny Bonecrusher here."

Yugo slaps Johnny on the shoulder.

Johnny Bonecrusher "Eyy, eyy, mannn! You don't know The Johnny like dat just yet!"

Yugo Phailous "Sorry Johnny. My bad."

Johnny Bonecrusher "Let me make one thing perfectly clear, Yugo, if I wasn't such a-a nice guy, I would love to make Chad eat his words with a side of f*** off sauce. I want nothing more but to call his candy out and demand that he prove he could beat us both with one hand tied behind his back, like the loud-mouth Smotherf*** said he wanted to! The other finger can go exploring in any which way his black heart fancies! All while being blindfolded. I would love to see him attempt that, but because I'm such an aforementioned-ly nice guy, nah, regular match, I guess."

Yugo Phailous "Lucky for you Vargas."

Johnny Bonecrusher "I won't make you look like a idiot in front of a sold out crowd, no siree there, pardner! Well, I mean, we still gonna kick that ass and make you and that smug, smug, f***in' smug-ass motherf***in' partner of yours look like laughingstocks for your mouthy lippy transgressions, even though that is my M.O. What the f*** am I saying?!"

Yugo Phailous "You know Johnny for a guy who has done nothing in the MSW, he sure seems to talk an awful allot. Like when he hinted that he's World championship material."

Johnny Bonecrusher "Don't make me laugh, son, I'm trying to be serious here for reals! Everyone knows that whoever wins the MSW Championship's gonna have ta deal with Yours Truly, I don't give a fuck! Daniel Smart got lucky - Natural 20 lucky! -  at Unstoppable 6 because any other day of the year, Little Lord Fartleroy Bryce Manning would have been facing me this week at Best of the Best, trust!"

Yugo Phailous "I think what Chad meant to say is that he is right where he should be. No where near the World title scene. In fact I can see on the next card that Chad Vargas will be right back in dark matches to prove himself all over again but at least this week he gets on TV and a bigger payout so he can go to Wal Marts and buy himself a new car. What will you get next Chad? A Vega? Chevy truck? Corvette? Ah hell they are only 94 cents each buy them all!"

Johnny Bonecrusher "Then he can go down the next aisle, with them Barbies and shit and pick himself up a new girlfriend."

Yugo Phailous "Then you can rush home and Skype with your buddy Leo and show off your new cars to him."

Johnny Bonecrusher "And 'cars' sure as f*** ain't no code for the D. Or maybe it is, I dunno. I only make such an alleged accusation because I know his redneck ass don't take kindly to - what'd he possibly call them again? 'possibly' in this case absolving me from any accusations of slander? - hmmm..."

Yugo Phailous "If you know what Johnny means."

Johnny Bonecrusher "And I'm sure you two know what I mean! Actually, you all probably don't. Banks is busy wallowing in self-pity disguised as the most bitter form of apathy for our match, whilst Vargas hates the gays. There. I said it. But don't worry Leo, going back to you for a sec, you will all sorts of shine at Bee oh tee Bee..."

Yugo Phailous "While you're laying on your back in middle of the ring looking right up at the lights because you two just got steamed rolled by."

Johnny Bonecrusher "Ah-The Johnny..."

Yugo Phailous "and Yugo Phailous!"

Fade out