RP#10

Just outside of KC at a Amtrak train station a old steam loco is starting to huff and puff as it comes to life. The loud pitched whistle sounds as a the train conductor sticks his head outside of the driver's window and lets out a loud and proud "ALL ABOARD!" The old 4-8-4 steam engine starts to creep forward as people hurry to catch the train. The white smoke bellows from the stack as the coals are thrown into the fire and it's full speed ahead.......

In one of the many cars the old steamer is pulling, in a old Pullman car, a private Pullman no less is where we find the Cowboy of death. The slayer of hymans. The conductor of the Pain train....
The man
The myth
the one
and only

Yugo Phailous.

All dressed in black sitting in a red high back velvet chair with his hat covering his face and a wine glass in his right hand is Yugo. The car is all decked out in this gothic renaissance kind of vibe complete with a small round barrel style wood stove. Leaning up against the wood clad wall is a folding chair and the seat of the chair has a dent in it, a dent about the size and shape of someone's head.

"So it has come down to this. Washington and not the Washington everyone likes and see on those dollar bills when stuffing them in stripper's G string or on the quarters when getting a gum ball from one of those machines to helps the kids with some kind of incurable disease. No not George Washington, but the redcoat Frank Washington. A guy who's voice is so whiney, so whoa is me, don't poke fun at me Frank Washington that you just want to punch him in the face repeatedly till he shuts up. It has come down to Washington and his little buddy Garland going toe to toe with the most dominate, the most charismatic, the must see tag team in all of Missouri, The whole flipping show, The death dealers, The leader of the Johnnies, The bringers of pain on the Pain Train, and the soon to be very first ever MSW tag team champions......

The Bonecrushing Phailous."

Yugo takes a sip of wine. His hat is still covering his face.

"A team that was just randomly thrown together. It was a pairing that the booking team just went, "Ah what the hell, stick those two together." and here we are. Knocking the door to super greatness. One 3 count away from bringing home the gold going up against a team, if you can even call them that, of two yahoos who hate each other. Two dudes who just plain don't like each other so much that if given the chance, would rather kill each other. But they some how have put it together long enough to get to the finals to face us. Just a shame that this little union you two have is about to come to a abrupt end."

Yugo adjusts his hat to reveal a black eye.

"For a month now, I have been looking forward to this match. For a month now everyone has been waiting for the collision that will happen as B2B. Up till last week it was a match for me to get a new belt buckle."

Yugo smirks, he can't help himself and he leans forwards.

"You know, I need something bigger to hold my pants up If you know what I mean."

Yugo leans back in his chair.

"But that all changed when you Garland picked up that chair, this chair...."

Yugo motions towards the chair leaning up against the wall.

"And swung it and struck me in the back with it. That kind of pissed me off and no one wants to see Yugo Phailous....a tad pissed off. Nothing good will come from this. I promise you this. You see."

Yugo takes another sip of his red wine.

"This match was just going to be another match for me in the MSW. Yeah sure it was going to be a tag team title match but really the whole time I have been in the MSW, I have no beef with no one. All I've done was win every match I've been in, shown respect to everyone except for the Southern Icon who is no longer in the MSW. No one really has given me a reason to really dislike anyone in the MSW."

Yugo reaches in his inside pocket of his black jacket and pulls out a cigar. He picks up a cutter from a table next to him and cuts the end of the cigar off.

"But that all changed when you Bob picked up that chair and swung it and nailed me in the back. What were you hoping to accomplish with that Bobby? Were you hoping to hurt me?"

Yugo picks up a lighter and lights his cigar. After a couple of drags on it he has it lit and he holds it out and admires it for a second. He then looks back at the camera and slowly shakes his head no.

"You can't hurt me Bob. I'm indestructible. I'm the bringer of death! I am death's shadow! There is stories in the bible about me for fuck sakes. Someone like you. Won't be able to hurt me. So were you hoping to send a message to me then?"

Yugo takes a another drag off of his cigar.

"And what would that message be? I hit like a girl? I need a chair to hopefully even the odds against the Bonecrushing Phailous? If that was what it was, then you better get ready for a early night because your mom has hit me harder than you did with that chair. So what was it Bobby?"

Yugo takes another drag from his cigar and a sip of wine.

"Here let me answer that question for you. It was this. You know that you and Frank have no hope in hell in winning this match. You know as soon as this match is over with, you will be a single man because your women, she will be dripping wet when she see what a real man looks like and she will dump you so quick you will never know what hit you and I can tell your the jealous type and you can't stand the fact that soon after I hoist the MSW Tag Team titles in the air, I'll be puttin' it to your old lady like she has never had it before. And do you know why that is Bobby?"

Yugo takes another sip of wine.

"There is a saying among Hot Rodders and it goes something like this. There is no replacement for cubic inches....."

Yugo leans forward.

"If you know what I mean."

He smirks and leans back in his chair.

"Now I have been running through my mind all of the stuff I'm going to do you Bobby. What I am going to do to you Frank. This could very well be the first match in the MSW that I take personally. Up till now every match was just Johnny and I, just having fun and doing what we are born to do and that is win. Even at the start of this tournament, I haven't had a horse in this race. Hell it was just a forgone conclusion that those title would be ours because let's face it. Who in the MSW can defeat us? Surely it isn't you two. But now that you decided to pick up that chair and strike me with it. I need to send a message to you. I don't know who you think you are but you can not pick a fight with Yugo Phailous because when you do. I will leave you in a ditch. Your jaw all busted up, both eyes black and blue. I know what my strengths in life are and they are driving cattle, drinking, fucking and fighting, and son. You just picked a fight you won't win."

Yugo finishes off his glass of wine.

"Now when this train comes a stop here in a couple of minutes. I'm meeting the only other guy in the MSW who is just as awesome as me, another guy you don't pick a fight with and we're going to sit down and have a nice juicy steak. Toss back a couple of drinks and then we're going put together a game plan on how much pain we're going to inflict on you two before putting you two out to pasture and taking home the MSW tag team titles. Our names will forever be etched in the history books as the first ever tag team champions and the name on everyone lips is the Bonecrushing Phailous."

You can hear the brakes on the train engage and the train starts to slow down as it pulls into the station. Yugo sets the glass down on the table next to his chair. He snuffs out his cigar and stands up and picks up the chair before looking into the camera one last time.

"And death is following us."

Several minutes later Yugo steps off the train and onto the deck of the old train station. Across the street from the train station he spots the Sandy Lasso and out front of the Sandy Lasso is he trusty stead, Pinto Inferno. Yugo looks at the chair one last time before tossing it on the deck and starts to make his way across the street to the Sandy Lasso.............