vs Craig Williams

Billy’s all black 2014 Dodge Hellcat rumbles down a dark alley way somewhere in America. Perhaps it’s in a shady part of Miami, we’ll never know. The Hellcat comes to stop and Billy kills the lights and slowly steps out of his ride. He closes the door and makes his way towards the trunk where he pops open the trunk and pulls out the cardboard cutout he had last week. It’s all beaten up, ripped, bent in half even more. As he slams the trunk shut.


“I tried yall. Like a fat guy at The Golden Corral who is arguing with himself about going back up for thirds and why that is a bad idea, I failed against that wench Autumn Raven. Maybe it’s just not meant to be. Who knows. But I know this.”


Billy walks a little way down the alley way where a burning barrel awaits. It has a small fire in it.


“I’m done with her. I’m done with Jessica! I’m done with them all! I ain’t ever fightin’ a chick again. Dat was and is the last time I will ever fight Autumn Raven again. You hear me Jay! DAT IS DA LAST TIME! And to prove dat I am done with it.”


Billy holds the cardboard cut out over the barrel and drops it in. It catches on fire and flames shoot up over the top of the barrel.


“Ima burning it! No more mental eye. No more Jessica bullshit. Screw dat chick. Screw Autumn. Ima done with it all. Women. Can’t wrestle with em, can’t beat em. Dey are useless in my book!”


Billy watches the cutout burn and turns and makes his way back to his car.




Scene opens up inside a warehouse that has pallets and pallets of Redneck Remedy stacked, and shrink wrapped on them. Cases and cases full of Billy’s shine. The distillery has been brewing up his special blend, bottling it and now it’s ready for shipment across ‘Murica for the thirsty public to buy and wet their whistle. Standing on the loading dock looking at of the product is Hillbilly Sutton wearing a brand spanking new Hill Billy Sutton Shine hat and shirt. He looks like one proud papa. Nanook waddles into the warehouse.


Nanook “Well well look at this Billy.”


Billy “I know. Look at it! They have produced in a couple of weeks what would take me two years to make. Dear lord...this is a lot of white lightening! I think Ima going to cry.”


Nanook “Billy….just think in a couple of weeks, money will start flowing back ourway and into the bank account.”


Billy “Yup and I need to reinvest it back into the business.”


Nanook “Nothing wrong with that. It’ll pay you back ten fold.”


Billy “You know Nanook. 2 years ago I was just a kid who dropped out of school, was worried that my girl at the time might be preggers and I owed my Uncle Ned a new TV. I went to England, got knocked around by Rayne and Mad Cyril fer a year and then went to Canada. Now look at me. ‘Bout to be ‘Murica’s newest multimillionaire.”


Nanook “You just remember that Billy then next time Autumn speaks ill of you.”


Billy “Der won’t be a next time. Like I said. Ima done with that bitch.”


Nanook pats Billy on the back. “If there is. As much as she has accomplished in this world. There is nothing she has done that even compares to this. Once her wrestling career is over with….”


Billy “She’ll still be a f*cking bitch.”


Nanook “And most likely flat ass broke. She has nothing to fall back on where you Billy. You have this. Hell if this takes off like I think it will, in a couple of years you will be able to retire from the ring.”


Billy “I doubt dat. Unless I get hurt i will be in dat ring busting skulls till I can’t walk no more.”


Nanook “If that is what you want Billy then by all means go for it. But you know something last week….”


Billy “Last week won’t happen again. Like I said I ain’t facing that bitch again.”


Nanook treads lightly. “I was talking about the cutout deal…”


Billy looks at Nanook “What about it?”


Nanook “Did you really seek help from some online doctor?”


Billy “Yeah why?”


Nanook tilts his head slightly. He wants to say something but holds back.


Billy “He was a little rough to understand being from India and all but what he said made sense. I might not have won dat match but boy did I feel better after words. Know what I mean?”


Nanook “Oh I understand but look. You could have asked me.”


Billy “Oh no. You were busy boss. I had this. Like this week. I’ve got Craig Williams. I beat him and I will demand a shot at his title.”


Nanook “Yeah about that.”


Billy “I don’t really know this guy but he doesn’t seem to be that great. I’m HillBilly Sutton. Millionaire MoonShiner. Two time UWL Tag Team Champion. What has that guy done with his career? You know I heard he used to be this popcorn vendor for a while. Really? Guy sucks that bad that he had to resort to selling popcorn at shows. I’m not sweating this guy.”


Nanook “Billy. You need to get your head in the game. I’ve known Craig for a long time.”


Billy “Did you buy popcorn from him?”


Nanook “Well….I did. It was really good popcorn but that’s not the point. Craig is a beast. He’s a top notch guy and if I was going to throw some cash down on next week, I’d bet on Craig Williams in beating Caleb Hart for that Triple Crown title. The guy is that good. You remember Joe’s dad.”


Billy “Yeah crazy old man who lives in the mountains of Vermont? Green something.”


Nanook “Well his name is Ted, but everyone knows him as Green Man.”


Billy “Yeah that’s it. What about him?”


Nanook “I saw Green Man go round after round with Craig back in the day. In St. Louis and in Philly, mostly in St, Louis going after the XWA World title. Now Joe’s old man, Green Man is as tough as they get. He kinda reminds me of Arch….”


Billy turns towards Nanook.


Billy “Who?”


Nanook “Arch Stanton. They both are tough as nails old timers. Green Man tried I don’t know how many times to beat Williams in his quest for that belt as he was in his way and Williams kept digging down deeper and deeper each time they faced off and he found a way to beat Green Man and this was when Craig was wet behind the ears. A little green...no pun intended back then. That was over ten years ago. Williams is polished nowadays.”


Billy “You know what I think! I think old timers like Arch, dis Green Man feller should just call it a career and retire and frickin’ die. I talked to Joe da other day. You know what he said? He told me da last time he was in the ring against this Craig Williams character, he was teamed up with dat Shawn Sanders guy and those two kicked da snot out of Williams and took some tag belts from them, belts that they never lost. So if Joe can beat Williams….so can I! Got it!”


Billy jabs his finger into Nanook’s chest.


Nanook “I ain’t saying you can beat him Billy.”


Billy “Not yet you weren’t but you were fixin’ on sayin’ it.”


Nanook “I would never think that of you as my friend, business partner and client.”


Billy “Then I suggest you start doin’ do your job and when….not if I beat this Craig Williams. You tell Jay dat I want a shot at his belt….and I want to take his match against Hart next week too. Got it? Agent.”


Nanook nods. “Sure thing Billy.”


Billy walks away in a completely different mood than he was in a couple of minutes ago. Nanook watches him leave and when he’s out of site he pulls out his phone and swipes away.


Nanook “Did Joe tell you all of the times Craig kicked his ass all over that ring?”



In a RV park somewhere where Billy has his diesel pusher parked and is now calling home, Billy comes walking out of it with his HellCat parked on the side of his RV with a case of Shine on the trunk lid. Billy appears to still be a foul mood.


“I don’t know what da hell is going on in the UWL nowadays but some of it makes me sick to my stomach! We have some idiot running around hiding from Cory after dey kidnapped his girl and dey won’t show their faces and get their rearends kicked in cuz you know you have it coming. None of you son of bitches even care. You all turned a blind eye and dat is just downright disrespectful. Den speaking of disrespectful little cry babies we have Arch Stanton throwing a fit cuz I wouldn’t shake his hands. Like grow up man. Den Caleb Hart somehow escapes with his little belt again and next week for the first time in a long time the UWL triple Crown Title will be defended on free TV….if you call showtime free when you have to pay for it and everyone is looking at this Craig Williams feller like he is the golden child who will dethrone the king.”


Billy places his hand on the case of Shine.


“Let me tell ya a thing about being da chosen one. Someone. I won’t say who told me, drilled into my head dat I was the chosen one. Hand picked to beat Caleb Hart and that no one else was ever going to do until I did. I walked around this joint for weeks telling everyone this. It drove me nuts! Drove me LOCO!”


Billy nods.


“I’ve been learning some Spanish here and there. Anyways I was so brainwashed that I was talking to a watch, saying it was mine. Pickin’ fights with fans, got sent home, suspended, fined. I had to beg them to let me back in and then…..even then it was spotty when I would have a match. I would go weeks without ever seeing that ring. And why? Because I was promised a match against Hart and for that belt and it never came. You have no idea what that did to my head. I had to step away for a while, get my head screwed back on straight and here I am, back at it, looking to get back to I originally started some time ago.


Singles championship gold.


And you Craig have what I want. Dat Prestige belt. I know you are more likely not even look at me. I betcha you haven’t even heard of me and you know dat is fine. I know you are mostly likely bummed about last week in not beating Caleb and you are licking your lips just waitin’ fer next week. Go ahead and overlook me. Go ahead cuz I ain’t looking ahead.


I ain’t looking at my next week. I’ve only got you on my mind. Beating you and demanding a shot at dat little belt of yours. While all eyes are the top prize, wondering who will take the giant down, end the streak and make history in the UWL. I’m looking at ending your little streak. I’m looking to make a statement in the prestige history books. See, we should be looking at who will end your run. Who will take you down. Well. You’re looking at him.


I’m da guy who blind side ya right before da biggest match of your UWL career.


I’m da guy who will rewrite the history books when it comes to UWL Prestige title.


I’m da guy who will leave ya banged up, roughed up and I’m da guy who will ruin your chances at beating Caleb Hart cuz to quote the old me…..That victory for the Triple Crown Title over Caleb Hart, is MINE.”


Billy rips open the case of shine and removes a bottle of shine. He holds it up, looks at it, turns it on it’s side and shakes it to look at the bubbles in it.


“I’m a newer kinder Billy. I have more money in my account then just about everyone in the locker room. I have a future in and out of the ring and it’s so bright that I will need a welding helmet to shield my eyes. When I defeat you. i won’t leave without a parting gift, a little something to remember me by. A bottle of my very own Shine.”


Billy unscrews the lid and takes a sip of his Shine.


“You know. To remember me by as I wreck your week leading into the biggest match of your career. See you Saturday night….popcorn guy.”


Fade out.