Post by Steve Sinclair on Feb 7, 2016 15:43:03 GMT
”Do you know what is pretty much useless?” The Bad Ass James Kelloggs says as the scene fades in to see him in the locker room pacing back and forth in front of his locker. He is holding a ice pack to the back of his neck.
”The game Candy Crush. I don’t know how many bitches I come in contact with who are like, “hey! Can you send me this and that on Candy Crush” and I’m like NO! Bitch! I don’t have time for that sort of thing. My fingers weren’t built to tap away on a screen lining up dots. These fingers……” The Bad Ass One stops and removes the ice pack from his neck and drops it on the floor. He then takes his 2 fingers and has them walk. ”Are made for walking and not along a sidewalk either.”
The Bad Ass One takes a seat on a bench.
”Kandy Krush and her bitch of a boyfriend Matt Daubs. Two dildos you will find in the clearance section at Adult World and much like those dildos that are 50 perfect off, are useless. They are broken, they smell and they don’t get you off either. I don’t know what their deal is, because the second I stepped in Darc Pro, Kandy has been just dying for me to notice her and let’s face it. There is nothing on that bitch to notice. She’s called me out, Matt has blasted me on twitter and for what?”
A blonde walks up behind James Kelloggs and starts to rub his shoulders.
”I’ll tell you why? I’ll tell you why those two have gone out of their what to get my attention. Those two have climbed mountains, swam the english channel and chopped their way through a jungle in hopes that I, The Bad Ass One James Kelloggs would look their way and congratulations! You have gotten the attention of the Bad Ass One. And if I were you, I wouldn’t throw a party just yet.”
The blonde picks up a towel and drapes it across his neck and continues to rub his neck.
”You can feel all good about yourself all you want about what you did and my opponent and now partner Mohammad Murder got the cheap win over me and you know what? Sometimes this sort of thing happens. Not even the Bad Ass can win after getting blind sided by a bitch and her dildo. But know this thing.”
James Kelloggs stands up.
”I will have the last laugh and the thought of getting both of you in the ring at the same time….well that makes the Bad Ass One hard. It gets the blood flowing and I’m going to crush Kandy and singly handedly turn Mr. Off Brand into Mr. OffTopic. Whatever your problems are with me, know this. In 8 days. It will become a non issue because both of you can never beat the Bad Ass One. In 8 days. I will shove my golden nuts and honey down your throats and watch you choke on them.”
James flicks the towel off of his shoulders and storms away.
Fade out.