Post by Steve Sinclair on Jan 27, 2017 18:59:48 GMT
Once in a life time, there comes a man that is larger than life. His heart is ten times bigger than the Grinch, and he is set to do one thing.....And it’s not to save Christmas. NO, his one job in life is to hang around and make everyone wonder why. Why is this guy out here? And what does he want. During the next clip from the latest house show, Keep 3 things in mind.
1. Who is he?
2. Why is here?
3. What is he telling me?
I think you’ll understand.
After a exciting match that featured Taco and the world famous Doink the clown and a run in my Goldfish, The fans, The crowd, the mob is ready for the next match. And they are about to get that when “Thank god I am a cowboy” begins to play. Everyone is confused as the spot lights all converge on the ramp. Many questions are asked, Like
“Who the hell?”
“Nobody uses that song!”
“Dad! Can we get popcorn?”
Son, all those questions are answered when a slimmer, went on a diet and NOW weights 402 Mesmar the Cowgod, or Cowboy walks out from the back. He gets a nice reaction from the crowd, as they are pleased that he has lost some weight. He raises his arms above his head and his extra skin wiggles around a bit. Yeah, he suffers from loose skin from excess dieting. Any ways, He strolls on down to the ring, his pants tight as ever, his shirt is tight, even his hat too. His boots are polished up and glisten in the sun as he steps into the ring and takes control of the mic.
“I’mmmmmmmmmmm back!” He says with a smile.
“And as you can see! I der lost SOME WEIGHT! YES! I’m a lean MEAN ass kicking machine! It’s all true except that last part. Maybe a treadmill beater, not ass kicking I’m afraid. But I’m back and it’s great! Kinda. See, I snuck in through the side door and Amy has no idea that I am here! So I think I have just one shot at this! HELL! Maybe, hopefully, I’ll get a match some time down the road. And who shall that be against I wonder? Hmmm, I think! Now who should the Big Bad Barn building Bastard face? That is the million dollar question!”
Mesmar pauses.
“Well hell, As you all think about that question, Let me tell ya something! I used to go by the name Mesmar the Cowboy! And yeah, I really love my cowboy roots and all, but lets face the music, THIS GIMMICK SUCKS! This never get me chicks, or titles, or even a pay check. And as I lost weight, and I found myself remotely sexy, I thought to myself, “Wow, Look at that, I thought I would never see that again!”...” Mesmar pauses again as the few laughs trickle in. “Opps, Wrong story! What I meant to say is that, I need a over haul, and with my new found body, I bet I could think up some real cool gimmicks, Like a superhero for one! Or one bad biker! Or even a animal or something! Could call myself Cobra! But I decided against it. Even thought about a Holly Wood type of guy, but come on, That would be gay! Yes, as all those gimmick are shall we say, Over used and oh so bad! I have put some thought to it and came up with a new gimmick, and new name, and a new attitude!”
Oh dear god some are saying.
“You are looking at the new IMPROVED NANOOK THE IRATE ESKIMO!”
Laughter fills the arena as tears comes to many eyes.
“That’s RIGHT! I have flabby skin damn it! And I must cover up to stop YOU ALL from laughing at me!!!! Plus, I like seal. So with that out of the way! Back to my first question! Who shall I face? And do any of you have an answer yet?”
Nanook pauses and waits.
“Of course you idiots don’t! I mean look a t you! Living in your warm climates! Wearing no clothes! How dare you weak minded souls, you.......(Nanook gets tongue tied.).....YOU HOSERS! I curse the day I saw you! You can’t think about what kind of match I want cuz you have no idea what I want! Your too damn busy bar hopping, getting naked on like my nude photo dot com and getting tans as I bust my ass in the fucking cold clubbing seals to but seal oil on the table for my kind! And then you drag a film crew up there and make movies of us like we’re some damn African tribe with flat tits or something! HOW DARE YOU! OH YEAH TOUGH GUY!” Nanook yells at some guy at ring side who is giving him hell. “DON’T MAKE ME CLUB YOU TOO!”
Nanook stares at the guy for a few seconds.
“THERE’S TWO THING I LOVE TO DO! CLUB SEALS AND CLUB MIDGETS! DAMN ME FOR BEING SO SHORT!!!!! DON’T MAKE FUN OF ME! I’M NANOOK DAMN YOU!”
Kinda funny seeing Nanook here is seven feet tall.
“Any ways, back to MY match! I see the PPV is right around the corner! And I say I want a match! I want a TITLE SHOT no less! I’m calling out that free riding champion COBALT!”
Huge pop.
“COBALT! Since the IWA has reopened, We have seen Braun more times that we have seen you! And I Nanook the Irate Eskimo aims to defeat you and become the greatest INTERCONTENTIAL CHAMPION OF ALL TIME! You little free ride is over honey! Nanook has spoken! And you shall fall!!!!”
The great Nanook song plays as Nanook drops the mic....more like kicks it into the crowd as walks away, shivering due to the warm arena.....................
1. Who is he?
2. Why is here?
3. What is he telling me?
I think you’ll understand.
After a exciting match that featured Taco and the world famous Doink the clown and a run in my Goldfish, The fans, The crowd, the mob is ready for the next match. And they are about to get that when “Thank god I am a cowboy” begins to play. Everyone is confused as the spot lights all converge on the ramp. Many questions are asked, Like
“Who the hell?”
“Nobody uses that song!”
“Dad! Can we get popcorn?”
Son, all those questions are answered when a slimmer, went on a diet and NOW weights 402 Mesmar the Cowgod, or Cowboy walks out from the back. He gets a nice reaction from the crowd, as they are pleased that he has lost some weight. He raises his arms above his head and his extra skin wiggles around a bit. Yeah, he suffers from loose skin from excess dieting. Any ways, He strolls on down to the ring, his pants tight as ever, his shirt is tight, even his hat too. His boots are polished up and glisten in the sun as he steps into the ring and takes control of the mic.
“I’mmmmmmmmmmm back!” He says with a smile.
“And as you can see! I der lost SOME WEIGHT! YES! I’m a lean MEAN ass kicking machine! It’s all true except that last part. Maybe a treadmill beater, not ass kicking I’m afraid. But I’m back and it’s great! Kinda. See, I snuck in through the side door and Amy has no idea that I am here! So I think I have just one shot at this! HELL! Maybe, hopefully, I’ll get a match some time down the road. And who shall that be against I wonder? Hmmm, I think! Now who should the Big Bad Barn building Bastard face? That is the million dollar question!”
Mesmar pauses.
“Well hell, As you all think about that question, Let me tell ya something! I used to go by the name Mesmar the Cowboy! And yeah, I really love my cowboy roots and all, but lets face the music, THIS GIMMICK SUCKS! This never get me chicks, or titles, or even a pay check. And as I lost weight, and I found myself remotely sexy, I thought to myself, “Wow, Look at that, I thought I would never see that again!”...” Mesmar pauses again as the few laughs trickle in. “Opps, Wrong story! What I meant to say is that, I need a over haul, and with my new found body, I bet I could think up some real cool gimmicks, Like a superhero for one! Or one bad biker! Or even a animal or something! Could call myself Cobra! But I decided against it. Even thought about a Holly Wood type of guy, but come on, That would be gay! Yes, as all those gimmick are shall we say, Over used and oh so bad! I have put some thought to it and came up with a new gimmick, and new name, and a new attitude!”
Oh dear god some are saying.
“You are looking at the new IMPROVED NANOOK THE IRATE ESKIMO!”
Laughter fills the arena as tears comes to many eyes.
“That’s RIGHT! I have flabby skin damn it! And I must cover up to stop YOU ALL from laughing at me!!!! Plus, I like seal. So with that out of the way! Back to my first question! Who shall I face? And do any of you have an answer yet?”
Nanook pauses and waits.
“Of course you idiots don’t! I mean look a t you! Living in your warm climates! Wearing no clothes! How dare you weak minded souls, you.......(Nanook gets tongue tied.).....YOU HOSERS! I curse the day I saw you! You can’t think about what kind of match I want cuz you have no idea what I want! Your too damn busy bar hopping, getting naked on like my nude photo dot com and getting tans as I bust my ass in the fucking cold clubbing seals to but seal oil on the table for my kind! And then you drag a film crew up there and make movies of us like we’re some damn African tribe with flat tits or something! HOW DARE YOU! OH YEAH TOUGH GUY!” Nanook yells at some guy at ring side who is giving him hell. “DON’T MAKE ME CLUB YOU TOO!”
Nanook stares at the guy for a few seconds.
“THERE’S TWO THING I LOVE TO DO! CLUB SEALS AND CLUB MIDGETS! DAMN ME FOR BEING SO SHORT!!!!! DON’T MAKE FUN OF ME! I’M NANOOK DAMN YOU!”
Kinda funny seeing Nanook here is seven feet tall.
“Any ways, back to MY match! I see the PPV is right around the corner! And I say I want a match! I want a TITLE SHOT no less! I’m calling out that free riding champion COBALT!”
Huge pop.
“COBALT! Since the IWA has reopened, We have seen Braun more times that we have seen you! And I Nanook the Irate Eskimo aims to defeat you and become the greatest INTERCONTENTIAL CHAMPION OF ALL TIME! You little free ride is over honey! Nanook has spoken! And you shall fall!!!!”
The great Nanook song plays as Nanook drops the mic....more like kicks it into the crowd as walks away, shivering due to the warm arena.....................