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Post by Steve Sinclair on Apr 12, 2018 21:09:05 GMT
The water is running.
Lots and lots of gallons going down the drain as Joe is scrubbing his hands with such a vigor that you would think he has poop or something on his hand.
But he has something much, much worse.
“This shit better come off!” Joe says as he then rinses his hands.
“I swear to god….”
Joe dries his hands with a white hand towel that has a big black rooster embroidered on it.
“There is nothing like boob goob. That shit, it like soaks into the skin and I don’t care what kind of soap you use, how much soap you use or how many times you wash and scrub your hands.”
Joe sniffs his hand, and is instantly appalled.
“That shit never leaves you. Like, seriously Samantha, how fucking sweaty are those things anyways? Jesus, take a bath girl. I have spent all week trying to get your breast breath off of my hand. It will not fucking leave! Your boob sweat is like, herpes or something. No wonder your single. You unhook that bra, unleash those sad looking titties and the poor guy is knocked the fuck out by the smell. No one, and I mean no one likes to smell rotting cantaloupes.”
“I have meet construction laborers who have a bad case of swamp ass going on Samantha, they smelled better than what you have hidden under that night shirt of yours. Holy fuck...I’m going to hurl.”
Joe leans on the sink and acts like he’s going to puke, but fights off the urge. He clears his throat and looks up and looks like he escaped that one.
“I don’t know who I have to talk to. I don’t know who I have to bribe, hell! At this point I don’t know who I have to blow, but I will get a rule passed before Threads of Disloyalty that requires you Samantha, to have your tits shrink wrapped and to have air fresheners hanging from those tightly wrapped titties of yours so Bryan and I, we don’t become nauseous and pass out from your out of control smelly boob sweat.”
Joe turns from the sink.
“I will also require that there be a basket or two at ring side, some little hoodrat ready to slide into the ring and hold the basket for when Bryan Blaze has to puke his guts out in it. Which, will have nothing to do with Stinky Sam and her putrid, gnarled, musty old gym socks she call her tits. No, Bryan is going to hurl his lunch when I am walking out with the Whirlwind championship.”
“The sight of me, pinning Miss CottonBalls and taking what he worked oh so hard for, ripping away his hopes and dreams, crushing the one thing that in his worthless and footnoteless career, the one item, his only achievement in life, gone! In a blink of an eye, every wrong in this company, will be corrected when I, Double J, Joe Jones, fixes the travesty that was Bryan Blaze, somehow fumbling his way to victory just as the sixty minutes ran out. The sight of me, taking his title, will be too much for him. He’ll have an anxiety attack, along with the rotting flesh that Sam will be producing then. That smell in that ring at that moment in time, the stinging defeat, it will be too much for him and he will puke his guts out. Then….he can curl up next to Stinky Sam and ball his little eyes out, because, the better man. The better wrestler, will have just won, and in doing so, has just become your new Whirlwind Champion.”
Joe sniffs his hand. Yup, it still stinks.
“Oh… Samantha, I can’t wait to get my hands on you for what you have done to me this week. I’m so pissed right now.”
Joe turns the water back on and goes back to washing his hands….
Again.
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Post by Steve Sinclair on Apr 20, 2018 22:10:36 GMT
“I have this feeling that our superhero of a champion, the rough and rugged, mister five o clock shadow himself, The guy who’s abs look like cobblestones that form a path to take one below the mason dixon line, the babylicious champion himself, Bryan Blaze, I get this feeling that most of the time, we’re not in the same room and maybe it’s because Bryan is just too damn busy blazing one up on this day of all days, Friday, April 20th.”
Scene reveals Joe Jones in a hotel room putting his shirt on.
“But correct me if I am wrong, Bryan. But it was I, Joe Jones, your future champion, who just a week or two ago, walked out of the back after listening to you drone on and on about absolutely nothing, who walked directly out of the back, fresh my my match, choosing to forgo my post match shower. I marched out of the back, down that fucking isle and climbed right in that ring and got in your face when no mother fucker including Samantha in the locker room had the fucking balls to do so!”
Joe looks up and just shakes his head in disbelief.
“You stand there and dare to call me a coward? The...(laughs, roll his eyes) The fucking cock on this guy, I swear. How many brain dead, blow hard, ego stroking fucks are there signed to Whirlwind Wrestling? Yeah yeah, I know, after Threads of Disloyalty, half of them will disappear, choose to hide behind their phones on twitter after quitting the company, all of them pretending to this larger than life bad ass who, lets be more than fucking honest here, they just can’t cut it here in Mexico. But after that half assed issue of a challenge, one that I’m sure…..no, I fucking know you were praying that no one would take you up on. I get right up in your grill, call you on your shit and I’m the asshole? I’m the guy who shouldn’t be in this match. I’m, seriously? I’m the coward? Fucking Samantha was standing in that isle trying to figure out in her tiny brain of hers, if she should get in that ring or hike it to the back and go take a piss. She was frozen in her high heels! Oh no! Should I get in that ring and challenge the almighty Bryan Blaze?”
Joe pauses, he sighs. Then he lets it rip.
“She? That lazy fuck, who knows for a fact that I’m not twitter, but spreads her snatch like mouth and fucking rips me on twitter knowing full well that 1, I won’t see it, 2, won’t respond to it! Yeah, such big talk Sam! You fucking ragged on me to your 3 fucking followers, whoop tee do! Bitch! Your husband is a figment of your imagination! But that’s okay because the one guy in this whole fucking company who has both a penis and vagina, thinks that you are the only true competition for him! And gee! I wonder why that is?”
“Oh is it because, he knows deep down, in his heart of hearts, he knows he can defeat you Sam. But you know what else he also knows! He knows he can’t fucking beat me! He couldn’t beat me back in Knoxville. If he showed up in San Fran, he wouldn’t have beaten me there and here we are, in good old Mexico! And it’s the same story Bryan. I saw that look on your face. The whole world saw that look on your face when I walked out from the back! The one guy you were hoping to god wouldn’t take the ten minutes and listen to you babble on, did! At Threads of Disloyalty, I am, and I will take that belt!”
“You will defend this on a dare….”
Joe laughs.
“That’s all you CAN do Bryan, is throw a dare out there and hope no one calls you out on it. You for shit isn’t going to defend that on a truth, cuz the truth of the matter is, you shouldn’t have won that belt. You know it too! You got lucky! You were saved by the clock and nothing else. That is how you won, when the clock ran out. On May 6th. There will be nothing to save you. There is no where for you run and hide. No clocks, no buzzers. Nothing will stop me from getting what is mine, what is owed to me. Nothing and no one will prevent me from walking out with that Whirlwind championship. And that! Bryan. Is the truth.”
Fade out
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Post by Steve Sinclair on Apr 22, 2018 12:47:56 GMT
“Hmmmm…..”
Scene opens up with Joe Jones with his arms crossed and his chin resting on one fist, deep in thought.
“Perhaps hanging out with the midget has rubbed off on me.”
“HEY!” James says off camera. “I fucking heard that!”
“Not for nothing my foul mouth pint sized nymphomaniac, but you do have a dirty little mouth on you and maybe, just maybe, you’re a bad influence on me.”
“The fuck I am!”
Joe laughs.
“Then again. Maybe not. But you know what you’re not?”
“A virgin.”
“Besides that.”
“Not lonely? Or sitting alone in a hotel room looking lovingly at some piece of tin with a look in my eye like I have had some, special naked time with it.”
“Oh you saw that too?”
“I’m pretty sure everyone did.”
“Yes. That is what Whirlwind Wrestling wants in their champion. A guy who hugs and looks at the title and makes everyone feel….”
“Awkward?”
“hmmmm. As awkward as that was, Bryan. I didn’t realize that your middle name was Caleb Hart, Drew Stevenson or Monster Max, or, even Craig Williams who was winning all of the tournaments in Knoxville. Maybe I fell asleep or something, but those guys and one Josh Eagles was doing all of the winning and main eventing pay per views. So, stop kidding everyone okay.”
“You act like you know me. You walk around with those puppy dog eyes of yours telling anyone who will listen, the tale of Joe Jones as if you co wrote it or something. But the thing is Bryan. You don’t know shit about me.”
Joe closes his eyes.
“Fuck.”
Joe flinches
“Damn it! I was going to get through this without one cuss word.”
“People who don’t swear I think have real problems.” James says off camera. “I think they are hiding something.”
“Maybe they are, maybe they aren’t, but that is not a topic of discussion for today.” Joe says “But what a topic of discussion for today is how one Bryan Blaze is…”
“Stupid?”
“James….”
“A proud card carrying member of the tiny pecker club?”
“I’m warning you James!”
“Samantha Tolson’s husband?”
“JA….. I never thought of that, interesting, but no. Bryan Blaze is a guy who clearly has no idea who he is getting in that ring with at Threads of Disloyalty. I am, without a shadow of a doubt the most qualified opponent there is in Whirlwind wrestling. Look.”
Joe clears his throat and moves in closer to the camera.
“I joke about, you know, how Bay Bay is not all that great, how he has never accomplished anything in his little stupid career, how he’s never won a belt and all of that. In our other promos this week, both of us have covered this, allot. But I kid about this. It’s my job actually. If you look up my job description, it is says to belittle and put down opponent, especially one in which the fans….like? I’m a good little employee, just doing my job. But Bryan…”
Joe steps back from the camera.
“He’s not joking. He’s not playing. He truly believes that I have never done anything in my career, one that has spanned 18 years now. He sees me in his little mind, he has himself convinced that I am inferior when compared to everyone else in this company. But….the truth is. I am as good or better than he is and just like him, I have had my war too. I have been tested, more than he has really. My path to get where I am was a hard trip through hell, one he has never had to make. I’m not prepared to take that belt Bryan?”
Joe cocks his head.
“Really? Really? The only person prepared to take that belt in this company, is me. I have been training my whole life for this, my whole career has been nothing but taking guys like you, who look down on me in disgust, who won’t, who refuse to give me the credit I deserve, that I am owed, and earned, and I take you down a peg. I live for this. This is what keeps me going, knocking little spoiled brats like you Bryan, down. Slapping you across the face, slamming you on the old mat, having you looking up at the lights and watching you fight back the tears when I walk out with what you said I couldn’t.”
“That, Bryan, is going to be your biggest mistake, and regret when this match is all said and done. Never ever, discredit me. I will make you pay for that.”
Fade out
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Post by Steve Sinclair on Apr 26, 2018 21:19:13 GMT
Scene opens up with Joe looking at himself in a mirror.
“Mirror mirror on the wall. Tell me who is the prettiest of them all?” Joe says as he pursed his lips together. “Of course it is me. The second I crossed the border I became the hottest little sex object in all of Mexico. But.” Joe says as he winks.
“Coming in a close second is my opponent on May 6th and no I'm going to waste my breath on that twitter starlet Samantha, who is only a star in her own mind. No. The second sexist guy in Mexico right now is our current champion. Bryan Blaze. Allow me to pay you a complement Bryan.”
Turns from the mirror.
“In the here and now, present day with god as my witness. You Bryan, you're like the modern day Eros. The hair. Very fluffy and playful. I can see my fingers getting intertwined in it.The chin line, very crisp and hard, squared off, what is there not to like? That patch of fuzz on your chin, not to much, but oddly just enough to, get a fist full of it. Just the right amount to, pull you in closer with. The hours spent, how dedicated you are to you body. Well, it's just a piece of work Bryan! Well done! You can bounce a quarter off of that chest. I wish I could get those, things right here on the rib cage.”
Joe motions on his ribcage what he's talking about.
“Ribbed for my pleasure! Then…..” Joe says as he raises one eyebrow. “Take a spin for me bay bay. Oh yeah, you know I'm an ass man and boy, oh boy oh boy. Dat ass! Amiright?” Joe says as he wets his lips. Then he starts to laugh.
“See Bryan! I can pay you a complement. I can give you praise! Stop making me sound like this monster who only thinks of himself. Cuz clearly, that is only you! You couldn't say one god damn nice word about me, at all! Not one! I gave you some props. You're the champ, for now. You won at Biorhythm. Yeah, so what? It was a fluke. It didn't matter who won that match, it was going to be a fluke, that is the nature of the beast.”
“You see Bryan, you're not the only one who is on a 18 year journey. You're not the only one who is jump starting their career. I came to Mexico for the same damn reason you did, albeit my road to get here has been filled with way more garbage than yours. While you were allowed to just sign on with any old company, allowed to be subpar, showcasing just how much you sucked, Those opportunities weren't there for me. Now, we don't need to live in the past, pulling the scabs back and opening up old wounds. That shit is so 2 years ago it isn't even funny.”
“I had to jump through hoops to get Bryan. I had to hire lawyers. I truly thought this day, standing here just being allowed to have a match again in my career was never going to happen. So excuse me if I sound a bit jaded, but your whole “Whoa is me, I had it so rough, I almost quit” story is, well lame. The truth of the matter is you got old. You got relaxed on your training while your opponents got stronger, faster. This sport was telling you to either step your game up a notch or get on out. That is something that happens to everyone in this sport!”
“Hell, it happened to me. There I said it. Happy now? Or are you just going to shit on that too? You see Bryan, once upon a time, some 13-14 years ago. I was wrestling. I was the biggest name there was in this sport and that isn't some self hype I spat out there to make you go, Really? Up and down the east coast, Joe Jones was a name that was respected. You knew you were in for one hell of battle when my name was across from yours. No one dared to disrespect me, no one. Then, one day. Knee hurts. Shoulder hurt. Didn’t jump like I once did. You go under the knife here, a scoop there. Before you know it, a decade goes by and everyone has forgotten about you.”
“Not anymore. Especially after May 6th, when I show you the same respect you have shown me this week. I have my own 18 year journey to complete. I have my own championship to win to pipe down the naysayers and you know something? I'm not even sorry it's going to happen at your expense.”
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Post by Steve Sinclair on Apr 27, 2018 18:47:31 GMT
As the sands of time pass through the hourglass, Joe smirks. He picks up the hourglass and lays it down on it’s side. “So Bryan.” Joe says with a hint of being a cheeky bastard in his voice. “So now after all this banter going back and forth, I’m the best in Whirlwind wrestling?” A smiling Joe says.
“I’m the best in this industry now?” Joe adds as he places his hand over his chest and looks so damn proud. “It’s about time you admit it cuz that is what I have been saying all along. I am one of, if not thee best this sport has to offer. Why did we spend the last two weeks arguing about this is if this is how you felt along? I mean, come on bro. Just keep that praise coming. I love me a pat on the back, nothing like a attaboy from my contemporaries.”Joe then pauses and has a confused look on his face. “Wait? What? Nah! You couldn’t have been that stupid.” Joe says
“Were…..were you talking about Sam? Bryan! Come on bro! After all the nice things I just said about you, you had to go and be that mentally challenged? Sam? Best in this sport? Sam? Tolson? Who has her little title shot that she was on the fence about just a couple of weeks back? Sam who hasn’t even signed in at the front desk let alone shown the fans of Whirlwind Wrestling that she is still alive? Sam, who’s proven to have literally refused to give two shits about the match, me, you or that belt? Sam, who after I defeat her on May 6th, we will see on twitter as the company wishes her lucky in her future endeavors? That lazy piece of shit? Best on the planet?”Joe laughs and laughs and laughs. “Oh my god Bryan! You really have been dropped one too many times on your head! Now! I’m sure for the, 1 or 2 Tolson fans out there, who, are more than pissed at me, I’m sure she has a excuse or two. Busy with a modeling gig. Laying down new tracks for her high energy dance album that drops this fall. Perhaps she’s just too damn busy filming a movie. Or! Or, I don’t know, she’s having lunch with Dana White. Cyborg better watch her back! Listen Bryan, if that is how you feel, then so be it, but know this! It ain’t fucking Sam Tolson who will taking that belt away from in little over a week from now. Nah bro. That will be me. The Best in Whirlwind Wrestling. The best in industry. Me! That is who is going to feed you a whole lot of humble pie and…”Joe pauses for a sec. “Yeah sure, When the ref raises my hand and hands me my title and the fans of Whirlwind Wrestling finally get a real man to call their champion. I’ll pat you on top of your little bitty head, tell you that you gave it your all and you did the best you could and have a nice day. But it’s time for the real wrestlers in this sport take over, It’ll be time for Mexico to have a actual real champion. Someone that they know will show up week in and week out and give it their all. Someone who has passion for this country, passion for this company. Neither you or Sam have that!”
“The fans want someone who has a desire to be their champion. That belt, at best is a lifetime achievement award to you and nothing more. I want to lead this company out of Monterrey Mexico, bring this company, these fans to the forefront of pro wrestling today. Neither you or Sam even has the desire to tackle something like that.”
“And furthermore. Neither one of you has enough pride to put this company on their backs and make that trek up the mountain. I’m Joe Jones, the best in this company, the best in the sport. You two? Only best in your own minds and this farce of a title reign Bryan.”Joe looks at the hourglass. “Has just ran out time.” |
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