Post by Steve Sinclair on Feb 9, 2014 14:27:54 GMT
It's a busy day in Hatemonger's Wicked Painful Gym, the little hole in the wall gym Hatemonger threw together in a run down warehouse for Double j. Today is the day that UWL's very own Kip Anderson is stopping by to interview Double J about last week's show and his upcoming match this week with one half of the UWL Tag Team Champions Mark Renaissance. This time the UWL has sent out all the big dollar production crew, 2 fat sweaty guys and a camera and a UWL backdrop! The camera is set up and the backdrop is in place and Hatemonger is bullshitting with the 2 production guys......
Hatemonger got all dressed up today, acid wash jeans, 80's baggy style (Tight around the wasit and ankles, baggy every where else) with a skin tight wife beater and a big bulky black fanny pack.
JH "So here we are, on this boat! I don't know if you can call a air craft carrier a boat but here we are, on the boat, in middle of the mother f*cking ocean with all these fans jam packed on the deck! It was wild man! Just f*cking chaos from the get go! The ring is middle of the runway! I'm scheduled to have a body slam match against this skinny, boney bitch! She couldn't lift my sack let alone body slam me man! I mean yeah right! That f*cking wind bag isn't going to win no matter what! You have to body slam your opponent to win!"
The 2 man crew is listening, nodding now and then but you can tell they really hope Kip is ready to start any second now.
JH "So in middle of the match man, I said F*** it! I've had enough of this chick running around the ring hitting me with cheap shots!"
Standing off to the side by himself is Double J with his arms crossed just glaring at Hatemonger who is unaware his babbling has made Double J pissed.
"And by cheap shots you mean kicking your ass" Joe says to himself.
JH "So she sends me into the ropes and I bounce of them, she lowers her head, I smile cuz you know, she just F***ed up and I'm about to school her! I pull up and kick her right in the f*cking tit! She comes up clutching her f*cking tit you know, BAM! I slap her across her other tit! She screams and she's now holding both of her tits! Deep down thou, between you and me I think she liked it. You can tell she was a little freaky like that! I grab a fist full of hair and I just let her have it! WHAM! Right in the face!"
Double J knows of the match Hatemonger is speaking of and what he remembers is not what Hatemonger is telling. Part of Double J wants to call Hatemonger out on his bullshit but thankfully for Hatemonger Nanook walks up to Double J. Nanook has been up the last couple of days, upset on how the end of the match went down.
Nanook "Joey! I've been thinking."
Joe looks at his best friend and manager out of the corner of his eye.
Nanook "That f*cking Cocheese guy....I really hate that guy."
Nanook must be upset for he doesn't swear all that much. He will drop the F bomb when he is drunk or mad.
Nanook "Who does he think he is? He isn't really all that good! I mean I could beat him!"
Joe's expression doesn't change.
Nanook "I've been thinking about it......."
Nanook then rattles on about Cocheese and The Grey and how he woulddefeat them all all the while Hatemonger is going on and on about his match and Joe is caught in the middle of it.
JH "So I kick her in the mid section! I have her right where I want this bitch!"
Nanook "I've looked at the roster, there isn't anyone as big as me around here! These guys probably have never faced some one as big as me! So right off the bat I have the advantage!"
JH "I scoop this whore up and I have this match won! As I lift her I've got my hand right on her crotch! That's when I noticed something. This bitch is dripping wet! I mean water logged!"
Nanook "One on one I know I can beat them! If they all gang up on me I'm in trouble......"
JH "So I go to throw her down to the mat and when I loose my grip! My hand, wrist and forearm is drenched in female juice you know...."
Nanook "So I'm thinking about taking Cocheese up on his anywhere, any time Hertiage title challenge. I just have to pick my spot but I think I can take his little title from him!"
JH "She starts to slip and I don't want to drop this bitch on her f*cking head so I have to grab her tights, only I didn't get a handful of tights! I grabbed her f*cking thong!"
Nanook "I know I can get a ref to follow me around when I think the time is right! I can almost see the shock in his eyes when I take the Hertiage title from him! What do you think?"
JH "As I slam her for the victory I also give her a wedgie! But her's the F***ed up part! After I verbally punished her, after I physically punished her, and after I abused her undergarmets she sends me her panties latter in the back with a note saying "You need to come over tonight and finish this match of ours! I thought it was a submission match and i want to see if you can tap me! Isn't that some F***ed up shit or what?"
Nanook "Joey?"
JJ "FOR EVERYTHING THAT IS HOLY! CAN WE GET THIS SHIT STARTED? WHERE THE F*** IS KIP?"
Dead silence in the gym and all eyes are on Double J. One of the crew members speak up.
"I'll see if Kip is ready."
JJ "Thank you! And Nanook, Cocheese is beat you if not kill you! You have a retarded idea. Jeff! f*cking Nanook sold you a used pair of Summer's panties and said they were Amber's. She wasn't into you, she HATED you dude. Kira too!"
Now both Nanook and Hatemonger are mad and Joe knows he'll hear about this later but right now he just doesn't care. The 2nd crew member returns with word that Kip is ready.
"FINALLY!" runs through Joe's mind.
The UWL backdrop just sparkles under the lights as Kip Anderson and Double J Joe Jones stand in front of it.
KA "Hello I'm Kip Anderson from the UWL and joining me this week is Double J Jone Jones who last week had a rough time with the Grey as you Double J took the loss."
JJ "Yeah well the Grey might have gotten thisone Kip but next time will be a different story with a different out come. The Grey might be in charge now but they have only limited numbers while the rest of the UWL have large numbers of guys who can squash them. But enough of the Grey Kip. We can spend all day talking about them...."
KA "Now wait a minute! You joined the Frontline headed by UWL World Champion Angelo Valour...."
JJ "I wouldn't say I joined the Frontline Kip. More like became a employee of the Frontline but in my short time here in the UWL I can honestly say I am annoyed by the Grey."
KA "Well how ever you want to view it you seemed to get help in the form of new UWL Star Aphonic."
JJ "Yes Aphonic has pledge his allegiance to the Frontline."
KA "Well you saw who is behind the mask...."
JJ "Is that like VH1's behind the music? UWL's Behind the mask?"
KA "Everyone in the UWL wants to know who is Aphonic?"
JJ "Aphonic duh!"
KA "No! I mean who is he? What is his name? Surely his birth name isn't Aphonic. Who is he, Howlong have you know him."
JJ "I've known the man behind the mask for a while now. But I'm not going to let the cat out of the bag. If Aphonic wants to tell you who he is he will tell you he is."
KA "He....hasn't spoken yet."
JJ "And trust me Kip, THAT is a good thing. Listen Kip, I'm not going to tell you anything about Aphonic. It is not my place or time to do such a thing. All I know is that Frankie CoCheese is in for one hell of match this week."
KA "Okay well the same could be said for you this week as you face off against one half of the UWL Tag Team Champions Mark Reniassance."
JJ "Yes and Mark Reniassance is as big and strong as they come. I have never talked to Mark and Idon't know too much about our tag team champion but I have seen him in action Kip and Mark is talented. He is gifted. He is strong, and brash and everything you need to be to become the UWL Tag Team Champion! But and Kip that is a big BUT, BUT as good as Mark is, he's just not as good as me! I know if you look up and down the UWL record books you won't see my name in the win column very often. But this week that is going to change! It's going to change and I will bask in the glow of victory Kip!"
KA "There seems to be a lot of buts in there."
Joe smirks tring not to laugh "Oh KIp there is and you see, see if didn't say but there."
KA "I see that."
JJ "Mr. Hart, Mr. UWL TV Champion says he will gladly give me a shot at his title, I don't know what I did to Caleb Hart Kip but the respect pool is awful deep between us and maybe just maybe he thinks he can add just one more win under his belt against me, but Caleb Hart might be going to the well one too many times against me and if he is willing to put the title on the line, well Kip.....I just can't face the Television Champion with a bunch of losses on my record. You have to put together a winning streak Kip. Place some W's in the win column you know. It looks good on the resume. You know under the question Why do you think you deserve a shot to the TV Title.....well Kip. If I can pencil in Currently holds a win over one half of the Tag Champions on there....it doesn't look so bad now does it Kip."
KA "No, no it doesn't."
JJ "I have nothing against Mark. I can't speak ill of Mark and I don't wish any bad luck on Mark because being as good as I am, you don't need luck on your side. I haven't been able to show the UWL just what I really can do and this week I will show the UWL just what Double J is all about! Winning! Mark buddy! I've got nothing but respect for you as one half of the tag team champions but this week it's going to be all me."
KA "Well we all can't wait for that match. It sounds like it's going to be a hard fought match between you two. This is Kip Anderson for the UWL and we'll see you Friday night for UWL action!"
JJ "Ah thanks Kip."
FTB.
Hatemonger got all dressed up today, acid wash jeans, 80's baggy style (Tight around the wasit and ankles, baggy every where else) with a skin tight wife beater and a big bulky black fanny pack.
JH "So here we are, on this boat! I don't know if you can call a air craft carrier a boat but here we are, on the boat, in middle of the mother f*cking ocean with all these fans jam packed on the deck! It was wild man! Just f*cking chaos from the get go! The ring is middle of the runway! I'm scheduled to have a body slam match against this skinny, boney bitch! She couldn't lift my sack let alone body slam me man! I mean yeah right! That f*cking wind bag isn't going to win no matter what! You have to body slam your opponent to win!"
The 2 man crew is listening, nodding now and then but you can tell they really hope Kip is ready to start any second now.
JH "So in middle of the match man, I said F*** it! I've had enough of this chick running around the ring hitting me with cheap shots!"
Standing off to the side by himself is Double J with his arms crossed just glaring at Hatemonger who is unaware his babbling has made Double J pissed.
"And by cheap shots you mean kicking your ass" Joe says to himself.
JH "So she sends me into the ropes and I bounce of them, she lowers her head, I smile cuz you know, she just F***ed up and I'm about to school her! I pull up and kick her right in the f*cking tit! She comes up clutching her f*cking tit you know, BAM! I slap her across her other tit! She screams and she's now holding both of her tits! Deep down thou, between you and me I think she liked it. You can tell she was a little freaky like that! I grab a fist full of hair and I just let her have it! WHAM! Right in the face!"
Double J knows of the match Hatemonger is speaking of and what he remembers is not what Hatemonger is telling. Part of Double J wants to call Hatemonger out on his bullshit but thankfully for Hatemonger Nanook walks up to Double J. Nanook has been up the last couple of days, upset on how the end of the match went down.
Nanook "Joey! I've been thinking."
Joe looks at his best friend and manager out of the corner of his eye.
Nanook "That f*cking Cocheese guy....I really hate that guy."
Nanook must be upset for he doesn't swear all that much. He will drop the F bomb when he is drunk or mad.
Nanook "Who does he think he is? He isn't really all that good! I mean I could beat him!"
Joe's expression doesn't change.
Nanook "I've been thinking about it......."
Nanook then rattles on about Cocheese and The Grey and how he woulddefeat them all all the while Hatemonger is going on and on about his match and Joe is caught in the middle of it.
JH "So I kick her in the mid section! I have her right where I want this bitch!"
Nanook "I've looked at the roster, there isn't anyone as big as me around here! These guys probably have never faced some one as big as me! So right off the bat I have the advantage!"
JH "I scoop this whore up and I have this match won! As I lift her I've got my hand right on her crotch! That's when I noticed something. This bitch is dripping wet! I mean water logged!"
Nanook "One on one I know I can beat them! If they all gang up on me I'm in trouble......"
JH "So I go to throw her down to the mat and when I loose my grip! My hand, wrist and forearm is drenched in female juice you know...."
Nanook "So I'm thinking about taking Cocheese up on his anywhere, any time Hertiage title challenge. I just have to pick my spot but I think I can take his little title from him!"
JH "She starts to slip and I don't want to drop this bitch on her f*cking head so I have to grab her tights, only I didn't get a handful of tights! I grabbed her f*cking thong!"
Nanook "I know I can get a ref to follow me around when I think the time is right! I can almost see the shock in his eyes when I take the Hertiage title from him! What do you think?"
JH "As I slam her for the victory I also give her a wedgie! But her's the F***ed up part! After I verbally punished her, after I physically punished her, and after I abused her undergarmets she sends me her panties latter in the back with a note saying "You need to come over tonight and finish this match of ours! I thought it was a submission match and i want to see if you can tap me! Isn't that some F***ed up shit or what?"
Nanook "Joey?"
JJ "FOR EVERYTHING THAT IS HOLY! CAN WE GET THIS SHIT STARTED? WHERE THE F*** IS KIP?"
Dead silence in the gym and all eyes are on Double J. One of the crew members speak up.
"I'll see if Kip is ready."
JJ "Thank you! And Nanook, Cocheese is beat you if not kill you! You have a retarded idea. Jeff! f*cking Nanook sold you a used pair of Summer's panties and said they were Amber's. She wasn't into you, she HATED you dude. Kira too!"
Now both Nanook and Hatemonger are mad and Joe knows he'll hear about this later but right now he just doesn't care. The 2nd crew member returns with word that Kip is ready.
"FINALLY!" runs through Joe's mind.
The UWL backdrop just sparkles under the lights as Kip Anderson and Double J Joe Jones stand in front of it.
KA "Hello I'm Kip Anderson from the UWL and joining me this week is Double J Jone Jones who last week had a rough time with the Grey as you Double J took the loss."
JJ "Yeah well the Grey might have gotten thisone Kip but next time will be a different story with a different out come. The Grey might be in charge now but they have only limited numbers while the rest of the UWL have large numbers of guys who can squash them. But enough of the Grey Kip. We can spend all day talking about them...."
KA "Now wait a minute! You joined the Frontline headed by UWL World Champion Angelo Valour...."
JJ "I wouldn't say I joined the Frontline Kip. More like became a employee of the Frontline but in my short time here in the UWL I can honestly say I am annoyed by the Grey."
KA "Well how ever you want to view it you seemed to get help in the form of new UWL Star Aphonic."
JJ "Yes Aphonic has pledge his allegiance to the Frontline."
KA "Well you saw who is behind the mask...."
JJ "Is that like VH1's behind the music? UWL's Behind the mask?"
KA "Everyone in the UWL wants to know who is Aphonic?"
JJ "Aphonic duh!"
KA "No! I mean who is he? What is his name? Surely his birth name isn't Aphonic. Who is he, Howlong have you know him."
JJ "I've known the man behind the mask for a while now. But I'm not going to let the cat out of the bag. If Aphonic wants to tell you who he is he will tell you he is."
KA "He....hasn't spoken yet."
JJ "And trust me Kip, THAT is a good thing. Listen Kip, I'm not going to tell you anything about Aphonic. It is not my place or time to do such a thing. All I know is that Frankie CoCheese is in for one hell of match this week."
KA "Okay well the same could be said for you this week as you face off against one half of the UWL Tag Team Champions Mark Reniassance."
JJ "Yes and Mark Reniassance is as big and strong as they come. I have never talked to Mark and Idon't know too much about our tag team champion but I have seen him in action Kip and Mark is talented. He is gifted. He is strong, and brash and everything you need to be to become the UWL Tag Team Champion! But and Kip that is a big BUT, BUT as good as Mark is, he's just not as good as me! I know if you look up and down the UWL record books you won't see my name in the win column very often. But this week that is going to change! It's going to change and I will bask in the glow of victory Kip!"
KA "There seems to be a lot of buts in there."
Joe smirks tring not to laugh "Oh KIp there is and you see, see if didn't say but there."
KA "I see that."
JJ "Mr. Hart, Mr. UWL TV Champion says he will gladly give me a shot at his title, I don't know what I did to Caleb Hart Kip but the respect pool is awful deep between us and maybe just maybe he thinks he can add just one more win under his belt against me, but Caleb Hart might be going to the well one too many times against me and if he is willing to put the title on the line, well Kip.....I just can't face the Television Champion with a bunch of losses on my record. You have to put together a winning streak Kip. Place some W's in the win column you know. It looks good on the resume. You know under the question Why do you think you deserve a shot to the TV Title.....well Kip. If I can pencil in Currently holds a win over one half of the Tag Champions on there....it doesn't look so bad now does it Kip."
KA "No, no it doesn't."
JJ "I have nothing against Mark. I can't speak ill of Mark and I don't wish any bad luck on Mark because being as good as I am, you don't need luck on your side. I haven't been able to show the UWL just what I really can do and this week I will show the UWL just what Double J is all about! Winning! Mark buddy! I've got nothing but respect for you as one half of the tag team champions but this week it's going to be all me."
KA "Well we all can't wait for that match. It sounds like it's going to be a hard fought match between you two. This is Kip Anderson for the UWL and we'll see you Friday night for UWL action!"
JJ "Ah thanks Kip."
FTB.