Post by Steve Sinclair on Feb 9, 2014 14:58:48 GMT
Present Day.....
It's a early chilly morning in Vermont as Double J walks out on the porch of his Dad's cabin with a cup of coffee in hand. Joe takes a sip of his coffee and sets it down on the old table on the porch as he tries to wrap himself up in his flannel shift. Today is the day that they start his old man's Fairlane today after getting a battery and battery cables for it. If all goes well today could be the first time since the early 80's that the car is driven down the road. If it does than clearly it's due to master mechanic Joe Jones. Joe picks up his cup of coffee when his cell phone starts to vibrate. Joe reaches in his pants pocket and pulls out his phone and sees a number from a place he hasn't been since 1989.
JJ "Hello?"
"Joseph?" A female voice says on the other end in a thick German accent. Joe stares at his phone with a unsure look on his face.
JJ "Steffi?"
Steffi "Ja!"
Joe is taken back a bit, like oh my god why is she calling me? "guten Morgen sagen. wie geht es Ihnen?" Joe says in German but struggles to do so. He might have spoken it for the first 9 years of his life but the second that wall came down, he got to the US and learned to speak English and has so ever since. For the first couple of years free from communist rule, Joe worked hard to distance himself from where he came from. He hasn't gone back or even talked to much of the family on his mother's side. Getting a call from his cousin Steffi is odd and a bit shocking for him.
Steffi starts to rattle on in German about something about a house but in the last 24 years Joe is more than rusty on his German and has to cut his cousin off.
JJ "Steffi....You have to excuse me but I don't really speak the language anymore. I caught something about a house fire?"
Steffi who kinda speaks English. "It has been long time since you left. You forgot how to speak?"
JJ "Well they don't speak German here."
Steffi "I know. I kid."
JJ "So why the call out of the blue?"
Steffi "Your home. It burned down today."
Joe's mind races! How did his house in Miami catch on fire? How come no one called him and tell him! He pays those ridiculous community fees for stuff just like that. Why did they not call him? If his cousin can get a hold of him from f*cking Germany clearly they can get a hold of him from Miami......wait. How would Steffi know that his house burned down?
JJ "Are you talking about my place in Miami?"
Steffi "You live in Miami? I didn't know that. No, I talk about your home in Berlin."
Joe shakes his head slightly because that last line didn't make any sense to him.
JJ "What home?"
Steffi "In Berlin. Where you lived as a youth."
JJ "Steffi I don't own anything in Berlin."
Steffi "But the house you grew up in, it burned down. Arson they are calling it."
JJ "Steffi.....I haven't seen that place since I left. I don't think mother even owned it. I think it was government owned. If someone burned that place down than they did the world a favor."
Steffi "It was still owned by the government but the person who burned it down, they were targeting you."
JJ "Say what?"
Great! Joe thinks. He now had terrorist coming after him.
Steffi "Do you remember a man named Franz?"
JJ "Who?"
Steffi "Franz? A older gentleman. He's telling the news that he knew you as a kid."
JJ "Okay?"
Steffi "Well he's telling the news papers that he knows who started the fire. A gentleman named Xplode?"
Why would Xplode travel all the way to Berlin and set a house on fire? Joe thinks to himself. It doesn't make any sense. That was just a waste of air miles on his Capital One Venture card. I didn't even know that that house was still standing. Well Xplode is a man who does stuff on his own watch so if he wants to travel all the way to Berlin and burn down a Government owned building than by all means he should do that. (If it really happened, I mean, I wasn't there so who's say this really happened?)
JJ "Okay?"
Joe really has nothing else to say to that.
Steffi "Do you know this Xplode? Are you in trouble?"
On his mother's side, The family knows Joe is doing what his no good for nothing father is doing for a living. Roaming god's green earth, wrassling and impregnating young impressionable girls by the thousands because that's what they still think of his dad who 34 years ago had a night of passion with a young lass when a wrestling show can to town as a reward from the Government for following the rules.
JJ "Yeah I know who Xpolde is. Don't worry about it. I'm okay. It's a wrestling thing."
That term, "It's a wrestling thing" is all Steffi needed to hear to have a small understanding of what is going on. To her it was a silly thing. Something little kids do as if they were playing Cowboys and Indians or something. Joe picks up his coffee cup and heads back into the cabin and catches up with his cousin for a while seeing what the family has been doing.........
The Other day.....
It feels like it takes half a day to go to town and back and Joe and his dad left early in the morning no less to run to Auto Zone to get a few things and come back and here it is after noon on a Saturday. Once back Joe slide the battery in place and ran the cables to the starter relay and on down to the starter while his Dad took the easy way out and ran the ground cable from the battery to the engine block. Joe was leaning over the fender double checking some stuff and all the tools are laid out on a movable table front of the car and after the debacle last week with constantly looking for a screw driver, socket or whatever driving Joe nuts, Joe dug out the table and wheeled it out of the garage and had every tool they were using laid out in order. Every racket, every screw driver and every wrench was facing the same direction, spaced evenly and in order from smallest to biggest. A little known fact about Joe is that he has a small OCD issue. Nothing overblown and extreme like he has to knock nine times, say his name 3 times and do a cartwheel to open a door. Nothing like that. He doesn't like clutter. He doesn't like tons of stuff jammed packed in a room. It has to be neat, orderly. His room that has all his past wrestling stuff in his house, while was organized and anything from cluttered, is the worst room in his house due to the cluttered according to Joe. His dad on the other hand tosses stuff everywhere and it doesn't bother him at all. Looking for a wrench he just had in his hands 10 seconds ago doesn't phase him. Joe on the other hand, drove him nuts. This will explain his focus on Caleb Hart and the UWL TV title. While the rest of the UWL is all about the Coronation Cup, Joe's attention is on Hart.
Joe is on one side of the car, his Dad on the other side and his Dad is just tossing the tools on the table, and Joe spends most of his time putting it back in it's spot. After a hour of this Joe needs a break. He wipes his hands with a rag, folds it and sets it down on the table where the other folded rags are. He steps away from the car.
GM "You okay Joey uhm hmm yeah?"
JJ "Oh I'm fine...I just need...."
Joe watches as his dad tosses a wrench on the table, knocking a couple other wrenches out of place.
JJ "..a break."
GM "Uhmm hmm yeah. We're almost done with this uhm hmm yeah. Should see if she starts real soon uhmm hmm yeah."
JJ "Cool."
Joe wanders into the garage which is everything piled up to the rafters and just enough room to move about it. How his dad ever finds anything in here he'll never know but every part they needed he knew right where it was. Joe stands in middle of the chaos trying to make sense of it when something catches his eye.
JJ "What the?"
Running along the whole back wall is a work bench that is covered with tons of stuff. In the far corner of the bench is a small metal robot that looks hand made. Joe steps over boxes and what not and fishes out the robot. As Joe holds up the robot that is like 2 feet tall he wonders why it is here.
JJ "Hey Dad?"
GM "Uhm hmm yeah."
Joe walks out of the garage holding the robot.
JJ "What is this?"
His Dad pokes his head out from under the hood of the car.
GM "Oh that? I made that uhmm hmm yeah."
JJ "When?"
GM "Oh....I don't know Joey. A while ago. Remote control robot yeah. I was just messing around."
Joe sets the robot down on the table. It's a 3 small metal boxes stacked on top of each other making up the body. A small box makes up the head. It has two red lights as it's eyes and an antenna sticking out of the top of his head. He has 2 old exhaust valves that look like they move up and down are it's arms.
GM "The remote is on top of the tool box back there uhm hmm yeah."
JJ "Huh. Does it still work?"
GM "Maybe uhmm hmm yeah. Doesn't do much other than light up, move it's arms up and down and has a horn in it that makes a beeping sound."
JJ "Really? I might need this."
GM "Okay uhmm hmm yeah. Don't know why thou."
JJ "It ah....reminds me of someone."
GM "I was going to paint it and airbrush it's name into it uhmm hmm yeah."
JJ "You named it?"
GM "Yeah. Block Head."
Joe chuckles and smirks. "How fitting."
His dad finishes checking the last radiator hose to make sure it is on tight and tosses the screw driver on the table.
GM "I think we're ready for gas.....but uhmm yeah. I don't have any gas."
Joe sighs. He knows that means another long road trip but it's okay.
JJ "What kind of battery does this thing take?"
GM "uhmmmm C's?"
JJ "Well let's go get some gas and some batteries."
Nanook Chronicles
A brand new day?
Nanook made his way back to Tennessee and back to Hatemonger's gym. He told Jeffery what he went down and Jeffery was wondering if he was fired too. All was all worried because he had rent due on the place and if he was fired he wasn't sure if he could afford the rent. While Hatemonger worried about what to do Nanook sat down on a weight bench and crossed his arms, draping them over the weight bar and buried his head into his arms........
Kim busted his ass for the next 4 months after getting the cash together to go to that new wrestling school. For a kid from one of the villages up north he was sure a tall kid. Kim grew and grew and grew till he was almost 7 feet tall. Back then he was skinny as hell. A bean pole. The school provided to him a place to stay, 3 meals a day and for the first time in his life, weight training. When he wasn't working his two jobs he was at the gym. Pumping iron, learning about a diet that will help him in the gym and in the ring and of course learning how to take a bump and the basics. He was a awkward kid who would stumble over his feet from time to time in the ring. He tried to keep a fast pace in the ring with the other guys in the ring and when he tried to do that he would end up tripping and falling face first in the mat.
"GOD DAMN IT KIM! I CAN'T TEACH YOU HOW TO WALK!" Walter would yell at him. Walter was his teacher. Walter was from the Soviet Union who defected and about the only thing he was good at was "crushing skulls" as he would say. He never did go on to some sort of world wide fame in the wrestling world. He was a bruiser kind of guy. Slug it out and let the referee sort it out he would say. Why Walter wrestled was something everyone at the school wondered as Walter always talked about his days of bare knuckle boxing back home. That first year Kim learned how to throw a punch, kick and knock some one out with a upper cut. Was it worth it? Not really.
"Nanook?" Hatemonger asks again snapping Nanook out of his day dream. He lifts his head up and looks at Hatemonger who is standing in front of him.
Nanook "Yeah?"
JH "What are you going to do now?"
Nanook "I don't know..."
JH "Well you are still a manager right?"
Nanook "I guess?"
JH "Okay then. I have some one for you to meet then."
Nanook "Okay?"
JH "He needs a manager. Will you be his manager?"
Nanook "I don't know?"
JH "I'll get him. You'll like him. This guy is crazy!"
Nanook "Okay?"
Saturday night.....
In the field where the cows and chickens roam, and where the old cars sit and rust is Double J Joe Jones. He dug out a old desk his dad had laying in the weeds and then found a old chair. He set them up in middle of the field and found a old oil lantern and fired it up and set it on the one corner of the desk next to his Go Pro camera. On the other corner of the desk is the robot Joe found in the garage and he found a Sharpie and wrote across the front of the robot "Junkie Jaden." Joe makes his way out to the desk caring a notepad. He sits down placing the notepad down in front of him. He slides open a drawer and pulls out a ink bottle and a fountain pen. It's sporting a pink feather.
Joe unscrews the ink bottle and dips his pen in it.
You might be thinking right now, What the F***? But as you all know,Jaden....err Xplode is a old fashion kind of guy. Why would one stand in front of a camera and cut a promo when you can break out a type writer and type out your trash talk? Of course doing it this way gives Jaden errr Xplode a out clause. I did read your little war journal (of course as I sit here I am just waiting for you to go "How did you read my journal? I didn't send it to you.") but for arguments sake let's just agree that I did read it. I mean you did write in your journal that when I read this my face should turn red, in laughter, in anger, choking on a cock? I'm not sure, you didn't specify. Any ways I did read it and in it you called me a asshole. Now while I want to say thank you for calling me a asshole I know if I acknowledge that you called me a asshole you would just deny it saying I never said such thing and.....
Joe dips his pen in the ink bottle.
technically you would be correct. You didn't actually say it...you wrote it but not once did I see that big old worn out hairy vagina on your face form a sentence with the words "You're a asshole". If you did say that then I could come back with a witty response like "Dude, You need to find yourself a box of Summer's Eve and douche that vagina or yours...douche." See that would be funny. Oh by the way I did think about that remark you made about my Grandfather. I never meet him, either one as a matter of fact for they both passed before I was born. On my Dad's side he died of old age and on my Mom's side, he died when he was put to death for war crimes. I grew up in Berlin, Grand Daddy was gainfully employed in the 40's, you connect the dots......Yeah not real proud about that family fact and I don't really like talking about that. I guess you could say that is the one thing in my life I am hiding from the world. Really though if you think about it I had nothing to do with what he did during the war seeing that was 40 years before I was born, but I find no reason what so ever for kicking back in the locker room telling stories of my Nazi loving Grandfather. He got what he deserved. Hey here is a thought. Since you are in Berlin and all, looking at some house that I allegedly grew up in, why don't you go and find his unmarked grave and piss on it. Tell him I said hi. Thanks.
Joe re dips his pen and looks at the Junkie Jaden Robot.
JJ "You okay Jaden?"
Joe picks up the remote and presses a button. It's eyes light up with two light bulbs but one quickly burns out.
JJ "Oh....broken."
I don't know if I can describe my reaction when I got a phone call from Germany, from my cousin telling me this story of a guy who called himself Xplode burning down a house that was my childhood home. Allegedly. I wasn't there so I don't know if this event even happened. My cousin is a drunk. I'm kinda surprised she's still alive. She has a liver made of concrete!
But taking this story at face value I wonder why in the F*** would you fly, man, what? 12 hours to Germany? To find some bum who claims he knows me, and walk through a run down house that you swear I grew up in only to burn it down? I mean? Seriously? Are you that f*cking retarded? Dude go find a doctor and get your head checked out. Are you even fit to compete this week? Do you have a doctor's clearance to get in that ring? That is some shit only a stalker would.....do.....OH F***! ARE YOU STALKING ME?
Does what's her face know that you swing both ways?
I'm flattered. No really I am. I'm so flattered I'm calling my lawyer right now."
Joe glances at the camera.
JJ "Okay so I'm not calling my lawyer right this second. So sue me!"
But seriously,Jaden/Xplode I don't know how to tell you this, but you're just not my type. Please don't get mad that I do not want your sexual advances. I would hate to go to HR and file a sexual harassment claim against you. I hope that little press conference you are holding later this week isn't to announce your undying love for me....cuz it's going to be awkward.
All kidding aside thou, what did you think you were going to find going to a country I haven't set foot in since the greatest American to ever live...That's Ronald Regan in case you didn't know that, tell Gorbachev to tear down this wall. I love that moment in time so much I have that clip on my phone and watch it now and then. In fact now would be a good time to watch that clip.
Joe breaks out his smartphone and watches this clip on youtube.
After watching it Joe wipes a tear from his eye.
Son of a bitch! Where are those Kleenex you said/wrote I would need? No matter how many times I see that clip, no matter how many times I hear that speech I get emotional. I won't deny that. I cry. I cry because that was the happiest day in my life. I gained my freedom that day! On that day I could see my future, and it was a bright future full of freedom. You know that song, "My future is so bright I have to wear shades?" That was my theme song for like 5 years. Of course knowing what I know now and what that song means, I know that is a song only a blockhead like you would listen to.
I don't know what hair brain idea you have cooked up and I'm not sure what moronic crap you are going say at that little conference of yours, but's not going to work. You didn't get into my head. (Which I think was your goal all along) You aren't going to shake my world to it's core and throw me off my game. I'm not going to get all pissed and stomp around going DAMN IT! THAT XPLODE GOT ME! FUUUUCCCCKKKKK!!!!!
In fact it has done the opposite.
It's got me thinking about how sad you are. How you think pulling this little stunt is the cat's meow. I'm sure on the flight home you ended up in the bathroom jacking off laughing your balls off about how you think you got inside my mind and this will somehow help you win our match but you will end up looking...rather...pitiful.
Joe re dips his pen.
JJ "What do you think so far Junkie Jaden?"
Joe pushes another button on the remote and the robot lifts his two arms up.
JJ "Yeah that's what I thought too."
I don't know if you noticed this or not but I am more or less spitting in your face. I'm poking fun at you and how you "roll". I'm not like the other sheep in the locker room afraid to call you out. I am anything but afraid of you. You put your pants on just like me, except I need pants that have more room in the crotch. Everyone knows what I mean. You're nothing special. You're not some Billy bad ass, wrestling god. You're a f*cking troll at best. A f*cking pimply kid in his parents basement hiding behind his keyboard in forums all across the world wide web. You're a butt pirate with Microsoft Words. I at least had the balls to hand write this shit out with a god damn fountain pen no less! No one does this shit anymore! NO ONE!
Man my hand cramp is killing me right now. Happy?
Joe shakes out his hand to ease the cramp.
JJ "Like I told Troy last week. I don't give a rats ass about this whole Coronation Cup Crap. In fact the sooner I'm out of this tournament the better. But man the UWL goes and puts me in this block with 3 of the biggest blow hoards in the place. 3 pricks who think they are all of that and then some and here I am, not carrying about a tin cup, facing a douche noodle like you. I don't want to beat you to gain 2 more points in this tournament. I don't want to beat you to get one more step closer to the Semi's and maybe the Finals. Nah I want to beat you just to stick it to you. Just to slap that taste out of your mouth. Knock that chip off your scarred up, F*** up, Frankenstein shoulder of yours. It's not a question of if, it's WHEN I beat you! WHEN I knock you on your ass! WHEN I stomp the F*** out of your hamstring, WHEN I slap the figure four on you and make you cry....like the bitch that you are. Go and make up any f*cking story you want about me Xplode. Try to fill some void in my background that you and only you sniffed out and threw out there hoping the public buys it. That's just a low blow on your side. Something someone, like you F*** nuts, do when they know....they can't win. You know it your heart. Your soul is crying and your bones they ache......because they all know this week....you will taste defeat."
Joe picks up the camera as he stands up.
JJ "Now..I am done with you, dot dot dot for now!"
FTB.
It's a early chilly morning in Vermont as Double J walks out on the porch of his Dad's cabin with a cup of coffee in hand. Joe takes a sip of his coffee and sets it down on the old table on the porch as he tries to wrap himself up in his flannel shift. Today is the day that they start his old man's Fairlane today after getting a battery and battery cables for it. If all goes well today could be the first time since the early 80's that the car is driven down the road. If it does than clearly it's due to master mechanic Joe Jones. Joe picks up his cup of coffee when his cell phone starts to vibrate. Joe reaches in his pants pocket and pulls out his phone and sees a number from a place he hasn't been since 1989.
JJ "Hello?"
"Joseph?" A female voice says on the other end in a thick German accent. Joe stares at his phone with a unsure look on his face.
JJ "Steffi?"
Steffi "Ja!"
Joe is taken back a bit, like oh my god why is she calling me? "guten Morgen sagen. wie geht es Ihnen?" Joe says in German but struggles to do so. He might have spoken it for the first 9 years of his life but the second that wall came down, he got to the US and learned to speak English and has so ever since. For the first couple of years free from communist rule, Joe worked hard to distance himself from where he came from. He hasn't gone back or even talked to much of the family on his mother's side. Getting a call from his cousin Steffi is odd and a bit shocking for him.
Steffi starts to rattle on in German about something about a house but in the last 24 years Joe is more than rusty on his German and has to cut his cousin off.
JJ "Steffi....You have to excuse me but I don't really speak the language anymore. I caught something about a house fire?"
Steffi who kinda speaks English. "It has been long time since you left. You forgot how to speak?"
JJ "Well they don't speak German here."
Steffi "I know. I kid."
JJ "So why the call out of the blue?"
Steffi "Your home. It burned down today."
Joe's mind races! How did his house in Miami catch on fire? How come no one called him and tell him! He pays those ridiculous community fees for stuff just like that. Why did they not call him? If his cousin can get a hold of him from f*cking Germany clearly they can get a hold of him from Miami......wait. How would Steffi know that his house burned down?
JJ "Are you talking about my place in Miami?"
Steffi "You live in Miami? I didn't know that. No, I talk about your home in Berlin."
Joe shakes his head slightly because that last line didn't make any sense to him.
JJ "What home?"
Steffi "In Berlin. Where you lived as a youth."
JJ "Steffi I don't own anything in Berlin."
Steffi "But the house you grew up in, it burned down. Arson they are calling it."
JJ "Steffi.....I haven't seen that place since I left. I don't think mother even owned it. I think it was government owned. If someone burned that place down than they did the world a favor."
Steffi "It was still owned by the government but the person who burned it down, they were targeting you."
JJ "Say what?"
Great! Joe thinks. He now had terrorist coming after him.
Steffi "Do you remember a man named Franz?"
JJ "Who?"
Steffi "Franz? A older gentleman. He's telling the news that he knew you as a kid."
JJ "Okay?"
Steffi "Well he's telling the news papers that he knows who started the fire. A gentleman named Xplode?"
Why would Xplode travel all the way to Berlin and set a house on fire? Joe thinks to himself. It doesn't make any sense. That was just a waste of air miles on his Capital One Venture card. I didn't even know that that house was still standing. Well Xplode is a man who does stuff on his own watch so if he wants to travel all the way to Berlin and burn down a Government owned building than by all means he should do that. (If it really happened, I mean, I wasn't there so who's say this really happened?)
JJ "Okay?"
Joe really has nothing else to say to that.
Steffi "Do you know this Xplode? Are you in trouble?"
On his mother's side, The family knows Joe is doing what his no good for nothing father is doing for a living. Roaming god's green earth, wrassling and impregnating young impressionable girls by the thousands because that's what they still think of his dad who 34 years ago had a night of passion with a young lass when a wrestling show can to town as a reward from the Government for following the rules.
JJ "Yeah I know who Xpolde is. Don't worry about it. I'm okay. It's a wrestling thing."
That term, "It's a wrestling thing" is all Steffi needed to hear to have a small understanding of what is going on. To her it was a silly thing. Something little kids do as if they were playing Cowboys and Indians or something. Joe picks up his coffee cup and heads back into the cabin and catches up with his cousin for a while seeing what the family has been doing.........
The Other day.....
It feels like it takes half a day to go to town and back and Joe and his dad left early in the morning no less to run to Auto Zone to get a few things and come back and here it is after noon on a Saturday. Once back Joe slide the battery in place and ran the cables to the starter relay and on down to the starter while his Dad took the easy way out and ran the ground cable from the battery to the engine block. Joe was leaning over the fender double checking some stuff and all the tools are laid out on a movable table front of the car and after the debacle last week with constantly looking for a screw driver, socket or whatever driving Joe nuts, Joe dug out the table and wheeled it out of the garage and had every tool they were using laid out in order. Every racket, every screw driver and every wrench was facing the same direction, spaced evenly and in order from smallest to biggest. A little known fact about Joe is that he has a small OCD issue. Nothing overblown and extreme like he has to knock nine times, say his name 3 times and do a cartwheel to open a door. Nothing like that. He doesn't like clutter. He doesn't like tons of stuff jammed packed in a room. It has to be neat, orderly. His room that has all his past wrestling stuff in his house, while was organized and anything from cluttered, is the worst room in his house due to the cluttered according to Joe. His dad on the other hand tosses stuff everywhere and it doesn't bother him at all. Looking for a wrench he just had in his hands 10 seconds ago doesn't phase him. Joe on the other hand, drove him nuts. This will explain his focus on Caleb Hart and the UWL TV title. While the rest of the UWL is all about the Coronation Cup, Joe's attention is on Hart.
Joe is on one side of the car, his Dad on the other side and his Dad is just tossing the tools on the table, and Joe spends most of his time putting it back in it's spot. After a hour of this Joe needs a break. He wipes his hands with a rag, folds it and sets it down on the table where the other folded rags are. He steps away from the car.
GM "You okay Joey uhm hmm yeah?"
JJ "Oh I'm fine...I just need...."
Joe watches as his dad tosses a wrench on the table, knocking a couple other wrenches out of place.
JJ "..a break."
GM "Uhmm hmm yeah. We're almost done with this uhm hmm yeah. Should see if she starts real soon uhmm hmm yeah."
JJ "Cool."
Joe wanders into the garage which is everything piled up to the rafters and just enough room to move about it. How his dad ever finds anything in here he'll never know but every part they needed he knew right where it was. Joe stands in middle of the chaos trying to make sense of it when something catches his eye.
JJ "What the?"
Running along the whole back wall is a work bench that is covered with tons of stuff. In the far corner of the bench is a small metal robot that looks hand made. Joe steps over boxes and what not and fishes out the robot. As Joe holds up the robot that is like 2 feet tall he wonders why it is here.
JJ "Hey Dad?"
GM "Uhm hmm yeah."
Joe walks out of the garage holding the robot.
JJ "What is this?"
His Dad pokes his head out from under the hood of the car.
GM "Oh that? I made that uhmm hmm yeah."
JJ "When?"
GM "Oh....I don't know Joey. A while ago. Remote control robot yeah. I was just messing around."
Joe sets the robot down on the table. It's a 3 small metal boxes stacked on top of each other making up the body. A small box makes up the head. It has two red lights as it's eyes and an antenna sticking out of the top of his head. He has 2 old exhaust valves that look like they move up and down are it's arms.
GM "The remote is on top of the tool box back there uhm hmm yeah."
JJ "Huh. Does it still work?"
GM "Maybe uhmm hmm yeah. Doesn't do much other than light up, move it's arms up and down and has a horn in it that makes a beeping sound."
JJ "Really? I might need this."
GM "Okay uhmm hmm yeah. Don't know why thou."
JJ "It ah....reminds me of someone."
GM "I was going to paint it and airbrush it's name into it uhmm hmm yeah."
JJ "You named it?"
GM "Yeah. Block Head."
Joe chuckles and smirks. "How fitting."
His dad finishes checking the last radiator hose to make sure it is on tight and tosses the screw driver on the table.
GM "I think we're ready for gas.....but uhmm yeah. I don't have any gas."
Joe sighs. He knows that means another long road trip but it's okay.
JJ "What kind of battery does this thing take?"
GM "uhmmmm C's?"
JJ "Well let's go get some gas and some batteries."
Nanook Chronicles
A brand new day?
Nanook made his way back to Tennessee and back to Hatemonger's gym. He told Jeffery what he went down and Jeffery was wondering if he was fired too. All was all worried because he had rent due on the place and if he was fired he wasn't sure if he could afford the rent. While Hatemonger worried about what to do Nanook sat down on a weight bench and crossed his arms, draping them over the weight bar and buried his head into his arms........
Kim busted his ass for the next 4 months after getting the cash together to go to that new wrestling school. For a kid from one of the villages up north he was sure a tall kid. Kim grew and grew and grew till he was almost 7 feet tall. Back then he was skinny as hell. A bean pole. The school provided to him a place to stay, 3 meals a day and for the first time in his life, weight training. When he wasn't working his two jobs he was at the gym. Pumping iron, learning about a diet that will help him in the gym and in the ring and of course learning how to take a bump and the basics. He was a awkward kid who would stumble over his feet from time to time in the ring. He tried to keep a fast pace in the ring with the other guys in the ring and when he tried to do that he would end up tripping and falling face first in the mat.
"GOD DAMN IT KIM! I CAN'T TEACH YOU HOW TO WALK!" Walter would yell at him. Walter was his teacher. Walter was from the Soviet Union who defected and about the only thing he was good at was "crushing skulls" as he would say. He never did go on to some sort of world wide fame in the wrestling world. He was a bruiser kind of guy. Slug it out and let the referee sort it out he would say. Why Walter wrestled was something everyone at the school wondered as Walter always talked about his days of bare knuckle boxing back home. That first year Kim learned how to throw a punch, kick and knock some one out with a upper cut. Was it worth it? Not really.
"Nanook?" Hatemonger asks again snapping Nanook out of his day dream. He lifts his head up and looks at Hatemonger who is standing in front of him.
Nanook "Yeah?"
JH "What are you going to do now?"
Nanook "I don't know..."
JH "Well you are still a manager right?"
Nanook "I guess?"
JH "Okay then. I have some one for you to meet then."
Nanook "Okay?"
JH "He needs a manager. Will you be his manager?"
Nanook "I don't know?"
JH "I'll get him. You'll like him. This guy is crazy!"
Nanook "Okay?"
Saturday night.....
In the field where the cows and chickens roam, and where the old cars sit and rust is Double J Joe Jones. He dug out a old desk his dad had laying in the weeds and then found a old chair. He set them up in middle of the field and found a old oil lantern and fired it up and set it on the one corner of the desk next to his Go Pro camera. On the other corner of the desk is the robot Joe found in the garage and he found a Sharpie and wrote across the front of the robot "Junkie Jaden." Joe makes his way out to the desk caring a notepad. He sits down placing the notepad down in front of him. He slides open a drawer and pulls out a ink bottle and a fountain pen. It's sporting a pink feather.
Joe unscrews the ink bottle and dips his pen in it.
You might be thinking right now, What the F***? But as you all know,
Joe dips his pen in the ink bottle.
technically you would be correct. You didn't actually say it...you wrote it but not once did I see that big old worn out hairy vagina on your face form a sentence with the words "You're a asshole". If you did say that then I could come back with a witty response like "Dude, You need to find yourself a box of Summer's Eve and douche that vagina or yours...douche." See that would be funny. Oh by the way I did think about that remark you made about my Grandfather. I never meet him, either one as a matter of fact for they both passed before I was born. On my Dad's side he died of old age and on my Mom's side, he died when he was put to death for war crimes. I grew up in Berlin, Grand Daddy was gainfully employed in the 40's, you connect the dots......Yeah not real proud about that family fact and I don't really like talking about that. I guess you could say that is the one thing in my life I am hiding from the world. Really though if you think about it I had nothing to do with what he did during the war seeing that was 40 years before I was born, but I find no reason what so ever for kicking back in the locker room telling stories of my Nazi loving Grandfather. He got what he deserved. Hey here is a thought. Since you are in Berlin and all, looking at some house that I allegedly grew up in, why don't you go and find his unmarked grave and piss on it. Tell him I said hi. Thanks.
Joe re dips his pen and looks at the Junkie Jaden Robot.
JJ "You okay Jaden?"
Joe picks up the remote and presses a button. It's eyes light up with two light bulbs but one quickly burns out.
JJ "Oh....broken."
I don't know if I can describe my reaction when I got a phone call from Germany, from my cousin telling me this story of a guy who called himself Xplode burning down a house that was my childhood home. Allegedly. I wasn't there so I don't know if this event even happened. My cousin is a drunk. I'm kinda surprised she's still alive. She has a liver made of concrete!
But taking this story at face value I wonder why in the F*** would you fly, man, what? 12 hours to Germany? To find some bum who claims he knows me, and walk through a run down house that you swear I grew up in only to burn it down? I mean? Seriously? Are you that f*cking retarded? Dude go find a doctor and get your head checked out. Are you even fit to compete this week? Do you have a doctor's clearance to get in that ring? That is some shit only a stalker would.....do.....OH F***! ARE YOU STALKING ME?
Does what's her face know that you swing both ways?
I'm flattered. No really I am. I'm so flattered I'm calling my lawyer right now."
Joe glances at the camera.
JJ "Okay so I'm not calling my lawyer right this second. So sue me!"
But seriously,
All kidding aside thou, what did you think you were going to find going to a country I haven't set foot in since the greatest American to ever live...That's Ronald Regan in case you didn't know that, tell Gorbachev to tear down this wall. I love that moment in time so much I have that clip on my phone and watch it now and then. In fact now would be a good time to watch that clip.
Joe breaks out his smartphone and watches this clip on youtube.
After watching it Joe wipes a tear from his eye.
Son of a bitch! Where are those Kleenex you said/wrote I would need? No matter how many times I see that clip, no matter how many times I hear that speech I get emotional. I won't deny that. I cry. I cry because that was the happiest day in my life. I gained my freedom that day! On that day I could see my future, and it was a bright future full of freedom. You know that song, "My future is so bright I have to wear shades?" That was my theme song for like 5 years. Of course knowing what I know now and what that song means, I know that is a song only a blockhead like you would listen to.
I don't know what hair brain idea you have cooked up and I'm not sure what moronic crap you are going say at that little conference of yours, but's not going to work. You didn't get into my head. (Which I think was your goal all along) You aren't going to shake my world to it's core and throw me off my game. I'm not going to get all pissed and stomp around going DAMN IT! THAT XPLODE GOT ME! FUUUUCCCCKKKKK!!!!!
In fact it has done the opposite.
It's got me thinking about how sad you are. How you think pulling this little stunt is the cat's meow. I'm sure on the flight home you ended up in the bathroom jacking off laughing your balls off about how you think you got inside my mind and this will somehow help you win our match but you will end up looking...rather...pitiful.
Joe re dips his pen.
JJ "What do you think so far Junkie Jaden?"
Joe pushes another button on the remote and the robot lifts his two arms up.
JJ "Yeah that's what I thought too."
I don't know if you noticed this or not but I am more or less spitting in your face. I'm poking fun at you and how you "roll". I'm not like the other sheep in the locker room afraid to call you out. I am anything but afraid of you. You put your pants on just like me, except I need pants that have more room in the crotch. Everyone knows what I mean. You're nothing special. You're not some Billy bad ass, wrestling god. You're a f*cking troll at best. A f*cking pimply kid in his parents basement hiding behind his keyboard in forums all across the world wide web. You're a butt pirate with Microsoft Words. I at least had the balls to hand write this shit out with a god damn fountain pen no less! No one does this shit anymore! NO ONE!
Man my hand cramp is killing me right now. Happy?
Joe shakes out his hand to ease the cramp.
JJ "Like I told Troy last week. I don't give a rats ass about this whole Coronation Cup Crap. In fact the sooner I'm out of this tournament the better. But man the UWL goes and puts me in this block with 3 of the biggest blow hoards in the place. 3 pricks who think they are all of that and then some and here I am, not carrying about a tin cup, facing a douche noodle like you. I don't want to beat you to gain 2 more points in this tournament. I don't want to beat you to get one more step closer to the Semi's and maybe the Finals. Nah I want to beat you just to stick it to you. Just to slap that taste out of your mouth. Knock that chip off your scarred up, F*** up, Frankenstein shoulder of yours. It's not a question of if, it's WHEN I beat you! WHEN I knock you on your ass! WHEN I stomp the F*** out of your hamstring, WHEN I slap the figure four on you and make you cry....like the bitch that you are. Go and make up any f*cking story you want about me Xplode. Try to fill some void in my background that you and only you sniffed out and threw out there hoping the public buys it. That's just a low blow on your side. Something someone, like you F*** nuts, do when they know....they can't win. You know it your heart. Your soul is crying and your bones they ache......because they all know this week....you will taste defeat."
Joe picks up the camera as he stands up.
JJ "Now..I am done with you, dot dot dot for now!"
FTB.