RP#5

There is nothing better than starting your day by tearing shit up, cranking the engine and stomping on the gas pedal and doing donuts in the parking lot and that is what NASCAR Billy did to start his day. One part in celebrating Jimmy Johnson taking a 27 point lead in the points standing, and secondly because Harvick won the race Sunday, and thirdly because Joe Jones showed up and attacked Eddie Jones and to Billy that was big. Not that he needed Joe to stand up for him, but because it told Billy that Joe cared.

Also came the news that Billy will get his hands on Stephen Callaway Saturday night and he was so stoked about that! So while he was laying the rubber down in the parking lot to Joe's gym, Billy has the radio cracked, pumping out his new favorite song.



Several minutes later the smoke clears and NASCAR Billy comes walking through the smoke with the UWL Tag Team title around his waist still rocking his DALE SR stuff. He stops on the outer edge of the smoke cloud and hooks his thumbs around the belt.

"Looks like someone has to buy new tires for that bitchin' little ride I have right over there. I put the hammer down and smoked those tires right down to the belts and you know what?"

Billy removes his Gargoyle sun glasses.

"I loved every damn second of it. I loved it so much that as soon as I get new tires, I'm going to do it again! That's how I roll. High octane! Burnin' rubber! Winning matches! Take your old ladies panties after I get her number! pish, It's good to be the Champion!" Billy laughs as he rubs the face of the title. "Yeah! And as much as I love this is, I do have one slight problem. It's not a car trouble like Arch Stanton has. It's not title troubles like Stephen Callaway has. No I have a cash problems. As in, lack of cash problems. I had last week off so I didn't get paid and I can't buy new tires without getting in the ring and getting paid. Luckily for me, and unluck....ily for Stephen Callaway, I's gots a match this week!"

Billy puts his shades back on.

"So not only am I going to get paid this week. Not only will I be able to buy tires this weekend. Not only will I be able to lay waste to another set of tires laying rubber down all over the place as Jimmy Johnson hoists championship number six in the air, I will be able to get my hands on Stephen Callaway and teach him a lesson! A lesson that you can't put your hands on me and get away with it! I'm a champion! I'm the future of the UWL! Stephen Callaway is the past. The dirty dark murky past of the UWL. The part of the past that is a unspoken dirty little secret. Like when a Ford wins a race, no one wants to talk about it because no one is happy that it happens. That's what this Rapid Angle is. A unhappy time in the UWL. But now! Now!!! Looks at me! I'm a ray of light! The fans, they love me! They love everything that I stand for and how I go about my business. The UWL is proud that I am the Tag Team Champion and why?"

Joe slides the shades down his nose and looks over the top of the glasses.

"Because much like NASCAR, I'm cool! I'm smooth! In and out of the ring! Like the night I won this der title, Nanook told me I'm winning matches and banging snatches! Drinking beers, driving fast cars! Outrunning the po-po and getting down on the shine! Everything is on the up and up and this Saturday night, it will be a second nightmare for Mister El Cazadors two when he goes down in defeat to me, NASCAR Billy! I'll come at you, bump and go, 1,2,3 ho! I'll get my hand raised in victory, oh the sweet smell of victory, smells like...."

Billy turns his head and looks at his El Camino. He smiles and looks back at the camera.

"It smells like burning rubber! There ain't no smell better. Stephen will regret the day he laid his hands and boots on me. I'm a great champion, a fighting champion! One fast Chevy with a super duper bumper, hooking you in the quarter panel, sending you into the wall, sending you to the back on the hook, leaving you all black and blue crying boo hoo! It might have been all fun and games two weeks ago when you and Eddie got the best of me. You might have knocked me down but it will be me, NASCAR Billy who teaches you two fools a lesson. The lesson to never ever mess with Billy. Because when you do, you will end up being nothing more than second best. Like the old saying goes, If you ain't first, you suck! WHOOOOOOO!!!!!"

FTB.