RP#43

Double J and Nanook hopped in the car and headed west on I40 for a couple miles and got off onto 441 south and followed that to Sevierville where they picked up 71 and headed on down to Pigeon Forge where Nanook wanted to stop at one of the many "As Seen on TV" shops they have lining both sides of the street in mist of several go cart tracks, fun houses, bunggie jumps and little theme park like places. Joe hangs a lift before heading into the scenic parkway that leads to Gatlinburg on to Old Mill Ave and after going under the huge Old Mill sign and over the bridge they turn into the parking lot for the Old Mill to grab a bite to eat. Once inside and seated and orders placed, Chicken pot pie for Joe (uhmmmm yummy) and a bacon cheese burger for Nanook they dive into the rolls. It's around lunch time on a Friday at the Old Mill and the place is packed but they managed to get a table by a window that is over looking the little pigeon river.

Nanook "So why are we going to Gatlinburg again?"

JJ "Well for one, it's a nice ride through the Smokey Mountains and 2, Cooters is there."

Nanook "Cooters?"

JJ "Cooters......from the duke of Hazards. He has a museum and restaurant there. I've always wanted to see it. Some day I'll make Duke fest. But Gatlinburg is also the home of one Troy Vincent and twitter blew up this morning about the new home of comedy being Gatlinburg so I want to see where the funny man lives. Because you know that bit yesterday was soooo damn funny."

"It was?" Nanook says as he stuffs another one of those awesome butter rolls into his mouth.

JJ "I was being sarcastic Canook."

Nanook "Canook can Fanook your Wanook all night long."

JJ ""What?"

Nanook "It sounded funny in my head."

JJ "You need to stop texting Clint late at night."

Nanook "Now now no need to be spitting venom over there."

JJ "You know what kills me is you can tell during that whole bit, you can see that Troy was actually liking what he was doing, like what he was doing was funny and it was going to get me mad and I bet in his mind he thought everyone was going to bust a gut laughing so hard. Jay Deuce? Really? How lame. What we did was just outright mocking him. Clearly it went over his head. What Troy did was just sad. I actually feel sorry for him because clearly he thought that was a good idea."

Nanook "He is a man that has a lot of pride and I don't think he liked it when you called him out like that."

Joe shrugs "You know what they say. The truth hurts."

The waitress comes over with their order and they dig in. No one makes Chicken pot pie like the Old Mill does..................

A little while later after lunch Double J finds him standing on a street corner in Gatlinburg near Cooters' and the Mountain Mall with the Ripley's Aquarium over his shoulder in the background. It's a busy place. tons of people in town soaking in the little town on a side of the Smokey Mountains. It was nothing what Joe thought it was going to look like. All the hype he heard over the last 5 months in Knoxville and once there, it failed to live up to the hype.

"Talk about a let down. I have heard nothing but you need to go Gatlinburg! It is awesome there. This place is nothing but a tourist trap. Shitty Made in China shops. Rinky dink aquarium, questionable car to the star museum and a mall that looks like a office building. That place is nothing close to being Mall of America. All in all this place is a over priced let down. There is nothing here. Hey look he built a mini golf place on the side of the mountain. Look at the river! Which at best is a creek. Waste of time and a waste of space this whole town is. There is more going on in Pigeon Forge than here. At least you can entertained on the main drag there while here is just stale, over hyped and none entertaining. Hell even Cooters is a let down."

Joe looks at the small shop that is Cooters and just shakes his head in disbelief.

"Now I know why Troy calls this place home. It's just like him. Boring, gets to much hype, and thinks it is better than what it actually is. I watched your little attempt at mocking me or making a parody of me or....hell I don't even know what you were trying to accomplish there but the end result Troy is that it was just sad. It was sad to see you try and be funny. Sad to see you try and be sarcastic. And the worst part of it all, you made no point what so ever in that little stick of yours. At least I made a point when I poked fun at you. We have heard you for the last 4 plus months cry a river over the TV title. At this point it's not even a dream anymore, not for the rest of us. It's a god damn nightmare because we are all sick and tired of listening to you! I can't believe you had the balls to blame the whole thing on Rob Macklin. Like really? You're going to go there? Blame management because you couldn't go after the TV title? Don't blame me for you not getting a shot either at Caleb Hart and the TV title either. Other than me and Wolf Parker there was no outcry from anyone about not getting their shot at the TV title. Hell I think SVD was surprised he got to face Hart for the title because that match came out of left field. It was boom! SVD! Today is your lucky day, come on down! Troy, blaming Macklin makes no sense for this reason and this reason alone."

Joe pauses as some tourist walk in front of him. Joe glares at them.

"The UWL is heading to it's...what 8th year in business and during that whole time, no one has won every title the UWL has to offer. No one in 8 years has become a Grand Slam Champion and you come out and say I want to take a shot at that because arguably you have won the hardest title to win in becoming a Grand Slam Champion. Hell look at Robb Daniels. He has been here what? 4 years now and he has won the TV title, the Heritage title and the Tag Team titles and he lacks just the one title you have won to beat you at becoming the first ever Grand Slam Champion and Daniels went through hell in winning the Cup to get a shot at the World title. And there's no guarantee that he will win it once he gets cashes in his cup win. It's never been done and you come out and say that is something I want to do and Rob Macklin is going to go No no no Troy! You can't do that? Give me a break Troy. What is Rob going to come out when Daniels does get his shot at the UWL World title and when JB slips on the sharpshooter and call for the bell claiming he saw Daniels tap? What? Just to prevent someone from being a Grand Slam Champion? You can't even stand there Troy and say that Rob doesn't want you to get the TV title because he's afraid no one will ever hold that title again because after you defend the title 4 times, you can trade that in for a crack at the Heritage title so that logic doesn't make sense. "

Joe shakes his head.

"In one breath you go you're too good for the TV title, then in the next breath you go how awesome the TV division has been lately and how it's a sign of respect to us lowly TV division guys to see a former World champion want to step down from the spotlight and chase the TV title. Like we are suppose to take a knee and bow like you're f*cking royalty or something. And how in the F*** did I end up being the face of the TV division? You make me out to be the one thing standing in your way of you getting a TV title shot. Like I'm the gate keeper! This is how out of touch you are with what is going on in the UWL. I had three shots at the TV title, not because I was determined to win that title, I had 3 cracks at it because I wanted to beat Hart more than anything and I don't know if you were paying attention or not but Hart, was holding onto the TV title at the time. Caleb Hart became and still is my unicorn. Everyone thinks that since Hart is no longer the TV champion I still don't want to face him and that's were everyone is wrong. I will gladly get in that ring right now and face Caleb Hart. Why? Because I want to pin that guy and get my hand raised in victory! Those last 3 matches against Hart, could all have been non title matches for all I care. I want that win over that guy."

Joe rubs the side of his face as he hasn't shaved this week. November is coming and he's seeing how long it takes to get past the itching stage in letting his beard grow.

"But since you have tap me the Keeper of the TV division, and since you think I have a strangle hold on it and that I have a monopoly on TV title shots, then I will defend my post to the fullest of my abilities. If I stand between you getting a shot at Addams and the TV title or not, than I will do everything to slap that chip off your shoulder and make sure that as long as I'm here, you won't ever get a sniff of the UWL TV title! This Saturday when I beat you once again at the UWL Arena then you can spend the next 4 months blaming me for not being able to follow your dreams in becoming a Grand Slam Champion. "

Joe starts to turn and walk back to the aquarium when he stops and looks back.

"You know I hate guys who have to have private locker rooms. What are you? To good to dress with the rest of the guys? I've been around for 11 years now and I've never once had my own private locker room. Even when I was the face of the BLPW, even when I was a 2 time BLPW World champion I still used the locker room with all the other guys used. I didn't want the rest of the guys to get the thought that I thought I was better than them. Here in the UWL, the TV division, we're a special tight knit group. We stick together. We don't want a outsider like your self trying to get in our group because you're nothing but a cancer. A guy with a inflated ego who thinks he's standing on top of the mountain and can't see that the UWL as whole has pasted him along the side of the highway. You might want to start wondering why no one is talking about you other than when they have a match against you. You're like this place, last decades news. Just a old worn out 90 fad. I'll see you Saturday night and just so you know, I'm feeling froggy and I will leap."

Joe makes his way towards the aquarium to get Nanook and get out of this place.

Fade out.