RP#50

A while ago Nanook stopped by Joe's apartment in Knoxville and dropped off a 1978 El Camino that was in primer. The car was pretty solid for it's age but Joe was still like WTF.....

A little Flashback....

Joe is standing on his deck on his apartment building over looking the parking lot. Joe is sipping on coffee after getting up that morning and he likes to step out onto his deck and enjoy his coffee and see what late breaking news is going on by flipping through the stories on his Ipad.

Joe is a creature of habit. A minimalist by nature, Joe hates clutter, if he has no use for it he gets rid of it and as a result his apartment has very little in it. A couch with end tables on both ends of it, matching coffee table, nothing on it. A plane Jane TV stand and a 42 inch LCD TV with just a Cable box on it and he goes crazy hiding all the wires. Nothing is out of place, no piles of stuff anywhere. Clean, simple, basic and so because he has a touch of OCD, he parks his car, a 2011 BMX 3 series in the same spot every day. He parks it the same way every time with out fault and he is anal about keeping it clean.

So on this nice sunny morning before his morning jog, Joe hears a rumble pulling into the parking lot at the apartment complex Joe is calling home in Tennessee. He looks up from his Ipad and pulling into the spot next to his BMW is Nanook in a 78 El Camino with blue smoke pouring out of the exhaust. Nanook came real close to side swiping Joe's Beamer. The engine backfires as Nanook shuts the car off.

Nanook "Hey Joe!"

Joe has a puzzled look on his face. "Nanook?"

Nanook "Hey! Listen! Can you do me a favor and just baby sit this car for a while?"

Joe "Why?"

Nanook "I'm going to get it fixed up but not right now. It's going to be a gift for someone..."

Joe "Please say it's not me."

Nanook "Oh no! No not you. It is for someone else. So listen. The key is in it. You can drive it around till I get back. I'm going to Canada for a bit! I'll be back okay?"

Joe "I'm not driving that car."

Nanook makes his way around Joe's Beamer and opens the driver side door.

Nanook "Hey! I have to borrow your car! Okay! Thanks!"

Before Joe could even say a word, Nanook jumps in his car and drives off with it leaving Joe with this primer gray El Camino.

Joe "F*** me!"

That was about 3-4 weeks ago. Since then Joe dropped the car off at a body shop, had a simple flat black paint job done to it, some black rims and a custom made bed cover to dress it up some. He then dropped it off at a interior shop and have the carpet replaced, seats redone and installed a radio. It's not his BMX but it's not a redneck mobile either. It's also still not as cool as Arch Stanton's 34 Ford.

Today Joe finds himself at the mall pulling into the parking lot in Nanook's El Camino. After a bit Joe finds himself walking into Old Navy where a cute little redhead who works there comes to him.

CLRH (Cute Little Red Head) "Hi! Welcome to Old Navy! Can I help you?"

Joe's eyes start to glaze over. He doesn't usually shop at Old Navy and why he came here today he's not sure. But he looks at the floor associate with perky little tits and smiles. "You sure can!"

CLRH "GREAT!"

JJ "I KNOW!"

CLRH "What are you looking for today?"

JJ "I have a friend who is....to be politically correct, has special needs. You know what I mean?"

CLRH "Yup!"

JJ "His birthday is coming up and he has always wanted to a sailor in the Navy. Do you have a adult sized sailor suit?"

CLRH "You know! We set the Halloween stuff early! We might have a costume over there!"

JJ "Great! Where are they!"

CLRH "Follow me!"

JJ "No problem."

She takes Joe over to the seasonal section where they have tons and tons of costumes. The CLRH searches and soon enough she comes up with a little Sailor boy costume. She holds it up for Joe. "Will this work for your friend?" She ask.

Joe smiles. "Yes! Yes it will! You have just made his day! He will be soooooo happy!"

She hands Joe the costume and Joe couldn't be happier. It even comes with a little sailor hat.

CLRH "I wish I could meet him! I volunteer at the children's hospital and help the special needs kid there."

JJ "Bless your heart! You have been so helpful today. Thanks!"

CLRH "Awe!"

We cut from Old Navy to the UWL Arena in Knoxville where inside the locker room Joe Jones is standing in front of Captain Fury's locker.

"You know I wasn't aware that I was facing a 12 year old kid this week. I wasn't aware of how much of a vagina Captain Fury is. I wasn't aware how much of a bleeding heart Senior Fury is. I heard you talking the other day and when I closed my eyes all I could hear is a little kid with a high pitched voice going "stop picking on Bieber! Stop picking on my mom!" I need to go get checked to see if I have ADD? Kid, you need to go see a doctor to see if your balls dropped. Just in case you didn't know Fury, once you enter puberty you will start growing hair around your winkie. Don't get freaked out by it."

"But seriously after I heard you go on and on about really nothing a couple of things stood to me. First, I don't know how many Heritage title shots you think I have had here in the UWL but that count would be ZERO! Do you know how many Tag Team title shots I've had? Here's a clue Fury, that also would be ZERO! I'm not begging for a shot at the Heritage title. I don't know if you got that memo but next week I have a match where I face Washington, Addams and Alan in a 4 way and the winner of that match.....wait for it Fury......Gets to face Hart for the Heritage title at Nightmare 4! I didn't beg for this match, nor did I ask for this match. The UWL, the front office, the powers that be, They placed me in a match where I will earn a shot at the Heritage title! That's funny....I don't recall saying your name for that match....huh."

Joe pauses and places his finger on his chin and thinks about that for a second.

"You see Fury while you have been getting your ass kicked by Alan and his gang of retards, I have been winning matches, working my way up the ladder and I earned that match next week and when I win that match, guess what? I earned that Heritage title match! And as far as the Tag Team titles goes....this is how this business works. Cocheese and I....we like, beat the Tag Team Champions and like, once you beat the champs, you like want to take those titles from them, so like you then issue them a challenge for the titles. Okay? You know I went to a book store in the mall and asked if they had Professional Wrestling for Dummies and they said some guy name Alan just bought them all so I couldn't get you a copy so you can read up and learn how this sport works but I did get you something else. I even placed it your locker for you so it's all ready to go Saturday night. You know the night I beat you in middle of that ring."

Joe opens Fury's locker and hanging from a hanger in it is the sailor suit.

"Clearly you are of "Special Needs". I'm sure you rode the blue bus in school and had a teacher's aid help you out with basic math problems. You shouldn't be worried about Alan and his cult of idiots because I won't need them to defeat you. Hell all I have to do is show you a Lolli pop and throw it on the mat and watch as you scramble to get it. Hell maybe I will take a life sized Justin Bieber cut out with me to the ring and watch you cry as I burn it! I have no respect for a man who like Bieber. Any full blooded male WANTS to kill that little arrogant F***! Tomorrow night Fury, wear your best high heels, make sure your make up is the best it can be and go get your nails done and instead of wearing your little black dress, just slip into this and bring your candy ass down to the ring. When it's all said and done...you will learn first hand what it means to be disrespected! Consider yourself warned!"

fade to black.