RP#51

"You win a match or two as a tag team and suddenly I'm riding Frankie's coat tails and I'm not talking about Frank Washington stinking coat tails either."

Inside the UWL Arena a couple of days till the TV tapings and the show is starting to get set back up for another wild weekend and this weekend the stakes are high for Joe Jones. A shot at the Heritage title is on the line this week. All he has to do is beat 3 blow hards.

"Other than putting a couple of check marks in the win column, what have I gained from teaming up with Frankie Cocheese? In fact, have I gotten anything in the UWL that I haven't earned since I became a buddy of Frankie's?"

Joe stands where the "stage" would be. The floor chairs are on racks, wheeled out to the floor just waiting to be set up. The guard rails are in place and the ring is half built, lacking the ropes and the steps.

"We came together, fought hard and worked well as a team and we defeated the short lived Main Stream reunion. Then the following week we got even better inside the ring and we defeated the UWL Tag Team Champions. So there it is. 2 victories. That's it. That is what I have gotten since I teamed up with the UWL World Champion. 2 whole wins. Who knew the grass was sooo much greener once I, as Alan would put it, rode Cocheese's coat tails. Just like Alan and Frank Washington and the all mighty non impressive Devastation INC, I also have zero titles. You can add up all the wins you guys have, and I still might more wins than you.....combined. And yet, Alan tries to paint a picture that I have only gotten where I am in the UWL based solely on the fact that I tagged up with Frankie, because let's face it I have accomplished to damn much here in the UWL. I'm so f*cking successful around here I shit title shots each and every day. I am drowning in title shots. When I got the news that I have a shot to win a shot at Hart and the Heritage title, I was like, God damn it! Not another title shot!"

Joe slowly starts to make his way down the "isle" towards the ring.

"I'm in a match with a dude who wasn't good enough for the Planet Fitness commercials. Alan Christopher wasn't good enough to walk around in a tank top and short shorts with a gallon of water and say 9 words. I pick things up and I set them down. They can get anyone to do that, literally anyone! Anyone but Alan Christopher. I won't even bring up the whole TV title situation."

Joe reaches the ring after just casually strolling along.

"Then there is your stable mate, clang member, cult follower Frank Washington. A little insecure yellow bellied cry baby who spends way to much time clutching to the TV title. He couldn't beat Scotty Addams for the belt so he took it and they are prancing around with it like it's their own. Talk about a group of guys who have done nothing in the UWL, Devastation INC would take that crown and that title, is the only thing you guys have earned."

Joe walks past the one corner post of the ring and towards the center of the ring on the camera side of it. He stops and faces the ring.

"Then there is Scotty Addams. That elevator just doesn't quite reach the top floor with that guy. He has his title stolen by a group of wanna be's and he chases after Frank once. It's like he doesn't care. He hardly puts any effort in it. If that was me, I would hunt Frank and Alan and the Butt buddies down with a bulldozer and run them over. Their blood.....would be on my hands. Steal from me and you wouldn't be able to walk around to not only talk about it but to brag about it. Over my dead body. What was that movie? uhmm."

Joe closes his eyes and is racking his brain to remember what was the name of the movie he is thinking about. Then it comes to him.

"Euro Trip. In the beginning of the movie at the party and the house band is playing in the back yard and the song they sing, about Fiona being a ragging slut....Scotty don't know."

Joe takes a couple of step and jumps up onto the ring mat. With no ring ropes it's just a...you know a ring with no ropes.

"We'll put on a show...." Joe starts to sing.
"Everyone will go.
Scotty doesn't know.
Scotty doesn't know
Scotty doesn't knoooooooooow....."

Joe makes his way towards the center of the ring and spins to face the camera in the stands, if it was there and singing the whole time.

"Who stole his belt!
whoa oh no.
Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty's a nuuuuuumbskull!
Scotty's a dumbass!!!!!
Oh yes!"

Joe smiles at the light heart parody he just came up with.

"That was a good movie. That was a movie for the whole family. You could laugh, forget the worries of your life. Unlike what Alan calls a family that is. I could only imagine what they talk about while sitting around the kitchen table. I shutter to think."

Joe puts his hands on his hips and looks around the UWL Arena.

"You know when Captain Fury reaches up and smacks you upside the head Alan, I'll be the first guy to laugh and laugh. Haven't you stopped to notice that no one talks about you unless they have a match against you? That's how much of a impact you are making around here. You're more a nuisance than anything else. You have only Captain Fury talking about you and if you ever have the balls to give him a fair match, you know, we both know he'll beat you and you can't have that can you? That wouldn't look good to the other goons in your group. In fact I wonder if fellow goon Frank noticed something."

Joe glances down at the mat and looks back up.

"I know I did. Alan has already put himself in the match against Hart at Nightmare.....just taking it for granted that he will beat you Frank. He didn't even try to hide it. It was I bet Scotty Addams and yeah, that is a gimmie. Then he was flapped his gums about the Family bullshit and me and then, he made it sound like a foregone conclusion that he would defeat you. I have to question why you would even waste our time entering this match Frank if you are just going to roll over and job to Alan. I'm in this match knowing that I will win this match. I'm not jobbing to no one. I'm giving my all in this match but I have a feeling that you won't. Does Alan mean that much to you? Did you two elope when we were in New York? You know that sort of thing is legal there right? Should I start calling you Mrs. Alan Christopher? Where did you register at?"

Joe takes a step backwards.

"About the only thing you'll get from me a beating like you have never had before. And don't worry you can share it with your husband Alan. I'll plant both of you right here, in the center of the ring and pin you. I wouldn't want to keep you from your guys honeymoon. I'm the one guy in the match that has earned a shot at Hart. I'm the one guy in this match worth a damn to face Hart. You three guys can go back and soil the TV division some more because at this rate, no one cares what you bumbling idiots do there. Hell Scotty doesn't know what is going on anyways. That guy could walk right on and be in Dazed and Confused 2 and fit right in. That match at Nightmare against Hart....it's more than a title match."

Joe looks up from the mat with a stern look on his face.

"It's personal."

FTB.