Post by Steve Sinclair on Apr 5, 2014 12:14:01 GMT
Scene opens up with NASCAR Billy on some back country road in front of his Uncle's second cousin's farm with his blacked out El Camino fresh from being tucked away in the barn for the last couple of months doing donuts and burnouts and having a great time all together. Smoke is pouring from the rear tires as Billy is burning them off. After one last donut Billy lights them up one last time and speeds towards the camera, kicks his El Camino sideways and comes to a rest a mere feet away from the camera. The driver's side door opens and stepping out of his car is NASCAR Billy rocking his Dale JR 2 time Daytona champion shirt and his camo #88 hat.
"WHOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
Billy with a huge smile on his face slams the door behind him as he twirls around and holds his arms out.
"Today is a great day! Today is a day fer celebration. How did da song go? Celebrate good times come on!"
Billy tries to sing and sounds off key, really off key. He then reaches into bed of his car and holds up a 50 pound bag of sugar.
"Lookie what Billy has here. Some sugar! Got some yeast and I've got some cracked corn just a waitin' fer me in the shine making capital of the world. You see everyone at home, Billy here is afixin' to brew up a batch of special shine. A batch dat I will have ready fer Saturday night. It's a batch dat will taste freakin' awesome when I win dat fatal four way match! Yes sir we bob you heard me right. Ima gunna be makin' a special batch of Redneck Remedy called da Victory Run!"
Billy sets the bag of sugar down and reaches into the bed of the car and pulls up a bag of grapes.
"And just like dey say on TV, But wait's der's more! Ima gunna make a special jar fer one person. A special mason jar just fer one person and one person only. It's gunna be like da Victory Run except dat Ima gunna add des to it. A bunch of sour grapes! Now you might be askin' yerself. Billy why you gunna ruin a run of your fine shine, the stuff the gods talk about with some sour grapes! Dat don't make no sense! But it does! See der will be one guy in dis fatal four way who will be pissed when the ref counts three and calls fer the bell. Dis guy has spent all week talkin' himself up to no end. He's been paintin' a painting dat he has already won des der match based on da fact that he already beat all of us before when he was sayin' he was just foolin' around. Like der is a difference between Mannquini and Even Caravelle. You be da same person correct? So from where Ima standin'. Ivs already seen you in action. Been in da ring with ya. I know ya. I know what ya do. I might be a redneck, but momma didn't raise no fool. Every time I git in dat ring Ima learnin'. When Ima not out in dat ring Ima in da back watchin' da rasslin' on da TV.....and sippin' on shine. You see Even Ima not sittin' in da back watch da action because I like wrestlin' like I like racin'. I study it. I watch and remember what Ima watchin. Now it might be true dat I'm not as polished as you are, you being bald and everything der shiny forehead. I never claim to be da master of a thousand and one moves or to be da best technical rassler to ever step on god's green earth. Der is no way I could compete with moves with fancy pants names but you know what is always a good counter to all of dem moves and hold?"
Billy drops the grapes in the bed of his car and pulls out a jar of shine. He unscrews the top and takes a quick sip.
"A nice shiner."
Billy balls up his fist and holds it up and makes a mean face.
"And you Even will have the pleasure of gettin' a shiner from a real life, honest to god Shiner! And when da ref counts three, raises my hand and declares me da winner. I'll give ya a free sample. Yer own jar of Shine. One made just fer you. I'll even gift wrap it and sign it fer you because it's gunna be a collector item. You could sell it on Ebay and get rich from it because it'll be the most sought after jar of shine in da world because when yer lookin' up at da lights, you'll have nuttin' but sour grapes on yer taste buds. Like I said da other day. No one cared what ya did in twenty twelve or why you left. If dat was yer glory days den you should just ahead and better hang up yer boots and call it a career. I dunna care what happened in the UWL past."
Billy takes another sip of his shine.
"Ima it's future."
One last sip and Billy screws the lid back on the jar.
"See ya soon Even. After da match we can go drinkin' if ya want. I'll bring da feel good stuff."
Billy climbs back into his El Camino and lays a patch of rubber on the pavement as the scene fades to black......