Post by Steve Sinclair on Jul 11, 2014 13:40:16 GMT
The sun is up.
The birds are singing.
Life is great.
Life is awesome.
With the sunshine giving you little kisses on the cheek.
You know this day couldn't get any better.
But then you slowly open your eyes.
You slowly roll onto your back and in doing so, roll into you own vomit.
"Well this shirt will go in the trash." Billy thinks as he feels the slimy vomit on the middle of his back soaking through his shirt.
Billy slowly sits up where he passed out in the field after a all nighter of drinking, smoking, and who knows what after Under Pressure where he lost his UWL Tag Team Titles. To say that Billy was crushed after the loss is a understatement. He looks down and discovers he's wearing a shirt that isn't his. It's a Justin Beiber shirt so now the thought of vomit on it isn't so bad.
But.......
He's wearing someone else's underwear. Ladies underwear.
Billy pulls himself up off of the ground and slowly stands up wearing his cowboy boots, a shirt that isn't his with vomit all over his back, and wearing knickers that aren't his either. He blinks a couple of times to clear his vision and laying on a blanket by the campfire is a person.
And this person would be female.
Wearing his shirt.
His boxers.
And there is a lot of her there.
Lots....of her.
Billy closes his eyes and makes that face. That face of shame.
"Oh dear god. Oh lord. Lord please say I didn't....." Billy lowers his head and his shoulders. He knows what happened. There is no denying it. "F*ck!"
The tapping sound of Billy tapping the top of his can of chew is heard as the scene fades in with a cleaned up and sober NASCAR Billy popping open his can of chew. He takes a pinch and stuffs his lip. Snapping the top back on and stuffing the can in his back pocket Billy rubs his hands together to clean any little bits of chew off his fingers.
"So it happened! So it finally happened! Da world can stop fer a second and let out a collective sigh as da streak came to a end. Da UWL's longest tenured champion is no more. The king was slayed! The wall was toppled! Saturday night at Under Pressure, NASCAR Billy's undefeated streak came to a end and in so did my 245 day run as da UWL World Tag Team Champion. International Incident defied da odds and pulled it out and walked out with der hands held high, with my title in der hands."
Billy pauses has this look of disdain on his face. Over a week later, the loss still stings.
"Dis isn't da last you will hear when it comes to NASCAR Billy and da UWL Tag Team titles! I will be back fer em! I promise you dat! Ima gunna regroup, Emma and I will git on da same page and when we do.....Magnus, Brandon. You two will be in a world of hurts because I will stop at nothing to get my, dat's right MY titles back! I promise you dat!"
Billy holds his hand out and a coke bottle is tossed to him. He unscrews the bottle and spits in it.
"But."
Billy pauses for a second. He's looking down at the floor collecting his thoughts. He wants to talk about the titles more but it's of no use as the Coronation Cup has kicked off and everyone knows who they are facing for the next 4 weeks and there will not be any tag team title rematch anytime soon.
"It's dat time of da year so I am told. Hell I has to ask Nanook what da hell is going on since Steve who says he's my manager doesn't tell me shit and believe me when I say it felt f*cking great to pop you in da nuts Steve! It felt GREAT! So great that I just might do it again! To see you on the floor in pain, unable to talk and stand is something dat I think we need more of in da UWL!"
Billy again pauses. He finds himself just wanting to go off on a tirade but stops himself from doing so.
"It is Coronation Cup season. Da holy grail of the UWL. Where you can't call yerself a legend, a icon of da UWL without a cup in your trophy case and what do you know. I just happen to have one on my shelf in my trailer. And you know what?"
Billy spits in his coke bottle.
"Much like Jimmy Johnson. Kyle Busch. I want to add more trophies to my trophy case. I already got myself one cup....why not add another one. And despite what just happened at Under Pressure, you know I can do dis. You know dat I am more den capable to walk away with a second cup in 2014 and dis week I start my march towards the UWL cup against Alan Christopher."
Billy nods and spits in his coke bottle.
"Da Champion of TV. Da so called Allstar of whatever da hell he thinks of himself. He is a guy who thinks he is ten times better den what he actually is. It will be my pleasure to walk on out der to dat ring and smack that smug look off his face. I have a whole lot of bottled up frustrations and it's just a itchin' to bust out and dis week Ima gunna find a outlet for what Ima feeling and Ima gunna unleash it on you Alan! Ima gunna start my march towards my second cup going up one nothing and 2 whole points when I whip ya all over da UWL arena! And Alan....it's gunna feel great! Just great! You can forget all of dat feel good story of Robb Daniels winning last year. Dis year! Ima on a mission! Ima gunna win dis cup! Ima gunna beat Even for dat World title! Just wait and see! Dis is my own personal Chase fer da Championship because if you ain't first!"
Billy spits in the bottle one last time.
"Den you just suck."
Fade out.