#1 Jamie McMurrary

Nashville speedway.
Nashville Tennessee.

A all white 2014 Chevy Camero that has been all done up as a race car sits on pit lane. The car is as white as white can get. Up around the front wheels are tons of sponsor stickers like MSD, Goodyear, Eldlebrock, Castrol and so and so forth creating this collage of bright colorful stickers on the front fender. In gold leaf on the doors and on the roof is the number of the race car. Number 69 of course. Above the driver side door in black script is the name of the driver.

DJR.

DJR walks up to his race car slipping on his gloves. He is already sporting his white helmet. He opens the door to his "Racemero" and slides into his custom made fitted race seat.

Couple of minutes later DJR is all fastened in, belts on, HANS on. He is ready to go.

But first.

Up on top of the grand stand in turn 4 is Spotter wearing the same suit. He walks up to the rail and places his foot on the bottom rung of the rail and pulls out his walkie. He has a cord that runs down from his helmet and he plugs it into the walkie.

Spotter "Ready boss?"

DJR "You know it buddy."

Spotter "Then light that bad boy up and let's go!"

DJR reaches over and on the dash is a series of toggle switches. He flick the one up marked fuel, then the one next to it marked ignition and then the one next too it marked starter. The Racemero comes to life. Up on the grand stand Spotter can hear the Racemero coming to life. He forms a fist with his left hand and pumps it in the air.

Spotter "NICE! Let's do this!"

DJR drops the clutch and punches it smoking the rear tires. The Racemero kicks sideways as it struggles to gain traction on the hot slick concrete. Smoke pours from the rear tires before they finally bite and DJR comes rumbling off of pit lane. Nashville is a short track and DJR comes up on the banking as he roars off into turn 3.

DJR "For a month now, everyone in the UWL has been put on notice that a new tag team was on the way to Knoxville and that this tag team."

Spotter "Was on a mission."

DJR "Is it a mission from god?"

Spotter "Did the Pope send us?"

DJR "Are we the sons of Jesus sent by Jesus himself to reign supreme in the world of tag team wrestling?"

Spotter "Or are we the bastard offspring of The King Richard Petty?"

DJR "The love child's of Petty and Unser?"

Spotter "Conceived in one of Junior Johnson's stills?"

DJR "Birthed at the finish line at Daytona?"

Spotter "On the night prior to Dale"

DJR "Earnhardt."

Spotter "Senior."

DJR "Big 500 win?"

Spotter "The answer to that is undeniably yes."

DJR "And during this month long foreplay with the UWL, we have noticed one things. Well more like two."

Spotter "First. That the current tag team champions have been on easy street. They have been getting a free ride with those tag team straps and that my friends, much like your sister's virginity is going to come to a end."

DJR "And secondly. The only other team in the UWL."

Spotter "And our opponents this week in San Jose."

DJR "Heather Jackson and Arrrmondoooooooo"

Spotter "What did you say?"

DJR "I said."

Spotter "Yes?"

DJR "I said ARRRRRRRRR"

Spotter "Be pirates?"

DJR "MOOOOOOONNNNNNN!"

Spotter "Man I really hate Mondays."

DJR "DOOOOOOO!"

Spotter "Put it together now boss man!"

DJR "Armando Santos"

Spotter "Or as we will call em, Sexy Action Taco."

DJR "Or Sat for short because it is this Saturday when you two will run head on into a wall."

Spotter "I'm pretty sure this isn't the first time Heather plowed head first into a wall."

DJR "and face the most destructive."

Spotter "Imposing."

DJR "Sinister."

Spotter "Driven"

DJR "talented tag team in the history of tag teams. You two have been trying to get Shadows and Hammerstorms attention from the second you two have stepped into the UWL."

Spotter "And tell us. How has that been going for you?"

DJR "Not good from what we can tell. You two are like, two house flies."

Spotter "Just buzzing around being annoying."

DJR "And now that a big fly swatter has showed up, let's just say."

Spotter "Shit just got real!"

DJR "Because we are Racin' Tyme and we're here for one thing and one thing only!"

Spotter "The UWL World."

DJR "Tag!"

Spotter "Team!"

DJR and Spotter "CHAMPIONSHIP!"

DJR "And those titles, much like the W this week."

Spotter "Is as good as ours! And just in case if you had any doubts...."

DJR comes flying by the start finish line and up in the stands Spotter clicks his stop watch. He shakes his head like he can't believe what he just saw.

DJR "DAT! Was a..."

DJR and Spotter "NEW TRACK RECORD!"

DJR "We're not here to mess around. Run around in the back just happy to make the show. We're taking the Tag Titles."

Spotter "And then the TV title."

DJR "And then we're going to take that new shiny Triple Crown title and there is nothing you can"

Spotter "do."

DJR "To stop us from taking over the UWL! Just call us the Jimmy Johnson's of the wrestling world."

Spotter "Because there is nothing we can do."

DJR "So Jackson and Santos, step aside because there is a new team in town. A team that is ten times."

Spotter "How much?"

DJR "20 times better than you two are. You either get out of the way or you join us. Like the old saying goes. Don't be a lugnut."

Spotter "Be a Sparkplug!"

DJR "Because it's time!"

Spotter "It's Racing' Tyme!"

DJR "Drop the clutch, grab a gear and stab the gas because we're going full throttle on you two and when that checkered flag waves, you will be looking up at the lights wondering."

Spotter "What the hell just happened?"

DJR "Because you just schooled by DJR! The best damn Rastler in the sport! There is no one who can drink beer, race a car and hold those tag straps better than me."

Spotter "And his good looking, cocky, hymen slaying, conductor of the pain train partner, Spotter!"

DJR "And together, you two will end up a lap down."

Spotter "And a dollar short."

DJR "True dat!"

Spotter "For sure. Okay boss man. Bring it in, top off the tank, for new stickers and let's break that record one more time!"

DJR "I heard dat!"

Fade out.