Post by Steve Sinclair on Oct 12, 2014 17:33:41 GMT
A all white mid 70's El Camino rumbles into a parking lot of a Uhual store. The El Camino comes to a stop and the beast is shut down. The doors open up and stepping out of the El Camino are the new UWL tag Team Champions. DJR. Spotter better known as Racin' Tyme.
They are both sporting the titles around their waists and they walk to the front of the El Camino with the Uhual store in the background. They pose in front of the car, crossing their arms.
DJR "You might be asking yourself."
Spotter "Why the current UWL Tag Team Champions."
DJR "Are doing standing in front of a Uhual store."
Spotter "With their bad ass El Camino."
DJR "That is clearly better than anything you drive."
Spotter "Well the answer is simple."
DJR "We need boxes."
Spotter "Packing peanuts."
DJR "Moving blankets."
Spotter "Tie down straps."
DJR "And a moving dolly."
Spotter "Because we will have something very important to move. Something that will need some extra care in moving. We don't want to scratch it. Dent it. tarnish it."
DJR "In other words. What we will be bringing home here soon is so precious to us that we want to go that extra mile to make sure it stays picture perfect."
Spotter "Now I know what we're thinking. What is it that you guys just got?"
DJR "A trophy case for those titles?"
Spotter "Nope."
DJR "Our waists is the only trophy case we need. A big fancy safe for all of the cash you guys will be rolling in by being the new tag champions?"
Spotter "Nope"
DJR "Have you ever heard of a Swish bank account? We're a top tier team. Only the best for us when it comes to our hard earned cash. No, let's just say when we need all of the stuff that Uhual has to offer for our moving needs is something for the house. Something to put in the entrance hallway."
Spotter "Or a foyer for all of you house savvy people out there."
DJR "You see in our foyer...."
Spotter puts his hand on DJR's chest stopping him.
Spotter "In our office, not our home. We don't live together. I just want to make that clear."
DJR nods.
DJR "Yes in our office. Our corporate offices. We want to put on display something that I will be bringing home. Something that is as awesome as the name itself. The Cup of Excellence."
Spotter "The road to the CoE starts this week and my man, D...J....R..."
DJR pulls out his phone and plays a tune, a banjo being strummed and some generic rapping cowboy is chanting....
WINNER
WINNER
WINNER
WINNER
WINNER
WINNER
WINNER
WINNER
WINNER
WINNER
WINNER
WINNER
WINNER
Spotter "Is in the Cup of Excellence and in his first match, in the first round on the road of Excellences the best damn tag partner in the world and that big old shinny belt around his waist says that he is the best guy for the job."
DJR runs his hand over the face of the title.
Spotter "Will go one on one with the Hangman."
DJR "Now it is my understanding that this Hangman, he has done a few things in his career. He's won some matches. He won a title or two but none of that says UWL in their name. So what do you have here then?"
Spotter "The worst kind of Lugnutter lug nuts all over the world can be."
DJR "The Hangman is the EVAP of the Lugnutters."
Spotter "Oh I hate when my check engine light comes on and the dealership...."
DJR "Excuse me Spotter, But which dealership is that?"
Spotter "The fine folks at Austin Martin. I hate it when they tell me the code on my DB9 is a evap code."
DJR "Did you leave the gas cap loose again?"
Spotter looks up and shakes his head. "Yes!!!!"
DJR "Shame on you and shame on The Hangman for being annoying."
Spotter "Useless."
DJR "A waste of time and space."
Spotter "And above else, unimportant. There is nothing wrong with my DB9!"
DJR "Well tighten the gas cap next time silly! The point is, Matt can just go ahead and engrave my name into that cup because it is as good as mine! Who is the only guy in the tournament with a title around his waist?"
Spotter "This guy!"
DJR "Who is undefeated in the UWL?"
Spotter "This guy!"
DJR "And who is going to leave the Hangman hanging and wishing he never agreed to enter the Cup of Excellence tournament?"
Spotter "This guy!"
DJR "I don't care where you come from Hangman. I don't care what you have done in the past. I don't care what you think you will do here in the UWL. But just so you know, you will get black flagged. You get pushed into the wall and you will not finish the race. Next to your official record the record keepers will place a DNF next to your name because I will put you behind the wall to watch the rest of the race and as the laps click off, I will rise to da top and take home the Cup! I was born to win and lift big shiny trophies and this tournament has my name written all over it."
Spotter "Yup. It sure does."
DJR "Just remember Hangman. When you awake to smell the gunpowder from the fireworks."
Spotter "And your face covered in confetti."
DJR "Looking up at the lights wonder what the hell just happened to you. Just keep this thought in the back of your mind. At the end of the day. When it's all said and done. It's time."
Spotter "For sure it's time."
DJR and Spotter "IT'S RACIN' TYME!"
DJR "And don't be a lugnut."
Spotter "Be a sparkplug!"
DJR "Got it Sparky?"
Spotter "If not. You soon will."
Fade out.