Post by Steve Sinclair on Mar 27, 2015 18:30:27 GMT
”So we called the UWL and this is the best they could do?”
In Miami, in his condo on the beach, in his basement, his finished basement is Joe Jones looking at his trophy case he had built since he no longer has Nanook’s makeshift gym slash office with the big ass display case in the “main lobby” to the building. He has his hands in his front pockets of his khaki shorts looking up at all of the belts he has won in his past, prior to the UWL and including the UWL like the World Tag Team titles and the Heritage championship.
”Matt Albright and….no Abright and Ryan Murphy. Lite brite and a Murphy bed, that is what stepped up to the plate to represent the UWL tag team division. Two guys we haven’t seen Japan.”
Joe sighs and shrugs.
”I mean, I guess. Angie and I, we did throw down the gauntlets and told the UWL to step it’s tag game up and this is the best we got? On the bright side! We have to start somewhere and we’ll quickly kick Abright one into his Murphy bed and send that cluster packing. There is really nothing more that has to be said on that. I’m sure those two mean well. I’m sure those two have high hopes but come on. Look at who joined forces and will be standing across the ring from you two clowns. Pure perfection. The reflection of a wrestling god and one of the best to ever step inside that ring…..and then there is Angelo Valour.”
Joe smirks as he continues checking out his belts, awards and what not.
”But you know something? I don’t think Lite Bright and Murphy Bed know who they truly and really are going up against. I betcha they think they know, just some two old dudes who haven’t been around for a while and one of them got his ass kicked by Cory Chevelle. But you see, if that is your thinking, if that is your mindset, then you two have already lost the match. You see, you are looking at tag team wrestling. Mister tag team wrestler in fact. Not just in the UWL but in all of professional wrestling. And here’s why.”
Joe opens his case and retrieves one of his title belts. He holds in it his hand for a second and then turns towards the camera and holds it in his hands. He then slings it over his left shoulder.
”This right here is the ESW Tag Team title. The actual strap. Not some replica they give to you after you lose the belt like the UWL belts in there. Those are fake. But this one….this one is the real deal. And do you know why this is the real one?”
Joe shakes his head.
”It’s not because the ESW is no more. It’s been a couple of years since it closed it doors and sailed off into the memories of all who used to tune in on Monday nights to watch Mayhem. And it’s not because I stole it either you silly bastards! I know there were some of you out there thinking that. This belt is the real deal because….”
Joe raises one eyebrow and cocks his head to the side a tiny bit.
”Technically I am still the ESW Tag Team Champion with my partner “The Man Diva” Tommy Purr. We didn’t lose the belts, still had them around our waists when they nailed the doors shut. Yeah I know what you’re thinking, So? That doesn’t matter anymore. and you would be kinda (Sounding like David Spade right there) right in your sloth like thinking right there but how many of them out there can say they are the current ESW tag team champions? You know besides Tommy and I? uhm. Like no one.”
Joe glances at the belt for a second.
”And if you want to brag about streaks, the impressive massive streak that Shadows and Hammersmith are on, I have one that leaves them in the dust and this does apply because this belt right here gets defended as often as the UWL tag belts do. For the past 2 years, 3 months and 21 days, a outstanding 841 days I have been the current title holder of the this bad boy. A streak of mammoth proportions! But wait! It gets even better!”
Joe turns and picks up another belt and he slings that belt over his right shoulder and now has two title belts over his shoulders.
”This is the BLPW World Tag Team title. And it’s not a replica either. Like this one.”
Looks at the belt on his left shoulder.
”This one is the real deal as well, and why is that kiddies? What was that? I can’t hear you! THERE YOU GO! You got it now. I’m still the current, reigning, defending Badlands Pro Wrestling World Tag Team Champion with my partner “Hot Stuff” Shawn Sanders! Now just how long have I been carrying this title around with me you might wonder? Well try this number on for size.”
Joe clears his throat.
”As of today, I have been the champ for the past 7 years…..5 months….and 20 days. Or, two thousand seven hundred and twenty eight days! Now that kiddies….is one hell of a streak. I mean that is the mother of all streaks! So when I say I am mister tag team wrestling…..if you googled Mr. Tag Team the only picture that pops up is mine and there is a reason for that. It’s because when I finally get my hands on the belts, they are mine forever! Let’s face it, I’m going to die with these belts and there is nothing no one out there can do about it. In fact the only thing people should be talking about when it comes to Double J Joe Jones and the UWL World Tag Team Titles is this.”
Joe pauses and takes a deep breath.
”How did Angelo not end up with a real cool nickname? How did this slip through the cracks? I went from Hot Stuff to The Man Diva to….no nickname whatsoever. But….”
Joe holds up his index finger.
”I’ll fix that, just you wait. Just like how we will fix the tag team division. Just you wait and see that happen. But first thing is first, it’s time to unplug the Lite Brite and kick the Murphy bed back into storage where they belong. And with that.”
Quick nod towards the camera.
”You two can consider yourselves warned.”
Fade out.