vs Autumn Raven II

The scene opens up with a shot of the cloud free blue sky. It’s such a beautiful day outside that’s it’s a great day for a picnic. It’s not raining, not too hot, not a cloud in the sky so why not?


Billy’s black Dodge Hellcat is parked by the tree he was at before with the cardboard cut out, this time though he has a blanket on the ground under the tree. He has a basket with him set off to the side and Billy is sitting indian style on one of the blanket. On the other is the Autumn Raven cut out with Jessica’s face duck taped to it and he bent the cut out in half and it’s being held down and propped up by a cement block. In front of them is a plate with fried chicken on it. Billy reaches in the basket which is filled with KFC and pulls out the container full of tater wedges. He takes a handful and places them on the plate in front of Jessica Raven…..(Yes he named it...her….how ever you want to look at it.)


Billy places the rest of the wedges on his plate and crumbles up the box and stuffs it in the basket. (I love those wedges BTW. Had some for lunch today.)


"Now sweetie. Baby. I would like to think we are grown adults.”


Billy takes a wedge and eats it. He’s looking at the cut out as if it’s saying something.


“Really? I invited you out here on this nice summer day for a nice picnic and you want to call me names? I bought you the extra crispy too. Two diet cokes and I ran into Wal-Marts for the halloween oreo cookies.” Billy says with a tone in his voice that he is a touch annoyed.


(Not to brag but I’m having some them as we speak, or type really)


“Okay! Fine!” Billy says throwing his arms up. “You are the adult and I’m just a horney teenager! Whatever! That is not why I asked you out here! I wanted to bring you out here and have a conversation like adults. I don’t want to fight about who did what, who cheated on who and who walked away from whom. I think we’re past that.”


Billy lowers his head and sighs.


“Okay maybe we’re not past all of that…”


Billy can’t get a word in edgewise. Jessica is really letting Billy have it. It is at this point the camera cuts to a shot of the scene from far away while Jessica vents….



Back to the picnic Billy is slowly munching on his wedges and chicken and has his head in his hand which is being propped up by his elbow on his knee. Finally he burps.


“Okay! Okay! Okay!!!!!! I GET IT!” Billy yells at the cut out leaning forward driving his point home. “I get it! You’re pissed at me and I know! I broke your heart and despite what Autumn said you weren’t after my money! I was living in a camper in a cow pasture at my Uncle Ned’s second Cousin’s farm in Knoxville.”


Billy nods.


“Okay. I’m still living in a camper but it’s a RV now. One of den fancy Diesel pushers. I had it painted red and blue, big ass confederate flag on the top of it. It is awesome but that isn’t my point! My point is there was a moment when we loved each other. I mean truly loved one another. It was true love….”


Billy gets this weird look on his face.


“What?”


He shakes his head.


“Princess’s Bride. Never heard of it.”


Billy shrugs.


“As you wish. Whatever. Anyways we were deeply in love with one another. Can we just for a second agree that did happen? Thank you. Well somewhere along the way, we grew apart for whatever reason…”


Billy holds his hand up towards the cutout.


“I said for whatever reason. Now we’re not a item. You have moved on and I have moved on.”


Billy drops his head again.


“Can we leave Jenny Lynn out of this? Please. I beg you! I want to settle this and come to some kind of truce with you. We still work together. I’m not leaving the UWL and neither are you. We need to wave the white flag and agree to be able to work together in peace because I’m afraid if we don’t, we both won’t be employed by the UWL anymore. Now I just want to make peace and put this behind us once and for all. I need to do this.”


Billy sighs.


“I think I made a mistake Jessica Raven. I think I over trained my mental eye. Everywhere I look I see your face. At KFC picking up our order, the kid behind the counter who wanted to take a selfie with me, I saw your face. At Wal-Marts, the old lady who cashed me out. She had your face. When I stopped and got gas and the blonde with the big boobies who wanted to hug me and take a selfie with me, All I saw from the neck up was your face. Lucky she had a low cut shirt on so I didn’t look at her face much…..”


Billy holds his hands out.


“What? They were there just begging to be looked at. So I looked! Gee get over it. Don’t want guys looking at the girls, wear a shirt that covers them up. The thing is Jessica, I only did this for my match against Autumn Raven. I still want to fight you. I still want to throw you around that ring, work out our disagreement and do what I should have done a long time ago and spanked you! I thought if I saw your face on Autumn’s body it would give me a edge, a way to defeat her and make her eat crow! I’m so sick of her smug smile, the “Whatever Billy! Nothing you can do will be good enough to beat me.” bullshit. I hate that bitch almost as much as I hate you!”


Billy cocks his head so he can hear whatever Jessica said.


“Well yeah I hate you. I thought that was a given.”


Puffs his chest out.


“Listen! I don’t care! That is just a fact you money grubbing whore! YEAH WHO’S JOHNNY? OH that’s right Mrs. Thing! I do know about him! You think I wouldn’t know about some random dude living at MY house! And by the way he hasn’t been the only guy I’ve seen stopping by!”


Billy stands up.


“FINE!!!!! BE THAT WAY YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!! SEE IF I CARE!”


Billy kicks the picnic basket and stomps on the plate of wedges (NOOOOOO!!!!) and fried chicken and then storms off towards his car. As he walks towards his Dodge Hellcat.


“I hope you’re happy with yourself Autumn! You just had to keep picking and poking me! You just couldn’t keep your mouth shut! You just had to go there! You just had to prove to everyone that your are the queen bitch of the UWL! Well guess what honey! I overtrained my mental eye and I’m ready…..”


Billy stops and closes his eyes and tightens his fists.


“So freaking ready to snap on someone. I want to punch one of these Jessica Raven’s so badly….I want to go ape shit on someone! You know how the Macho Man said, Snap into a Slim Jim! Well I want to snap your neck! I want to bite off a piece of you and spit in on the ground and stomp on it till it’s nothing but mush that not even Gil Grissom on CSI can figure out what it is! Yeah that is what I want to do! Oh! AND BY THE WAY! Our last match, you only won because I was counted out! Does that even count as a win? All you did was stand in the ring with that stupid look on your face as the referee counted me out! But this week!”


Points at the camera


“This week! There won’t be a count out! There won’t be no fights with fans! I won’t be getting suspended by the UWL! But the UWL will be losing one of it’s long time members when I BREAK YOU IN HALF HILLBILLY STYLE! I will tear you up! And if your little boyfriend shows up, I’ll chop him down to size too! You have my word on that! The Name is Billy! Billy Sutton! Moonshiner legend and a wrassling ICON! And you Autumn! Will be my next victim!”


Billy swings open the door to his Hellcat, starts it, guns it, does a couple of donuts and hightails it out of there…...