Post by Steve Sinclair on Oct 8, 2015 0:26:31 GMT
Knoxville
Timmy, who last week was hired by Nanook to follow Billy around and document everything he does and more importantly keep an eye on him while he is at Billy’s Uncle Ned’s second cousin farm in Knoxville where Billy is helping with loading up the haybarn with hay for the winter.
Billy is driving the John Deere with a hay trailer behind it fully loaded with hay bales. He comes to a stop in front of the conveyor belt. As Timmy walks in closer, Billy shuts down the old green machine and hops down off of the tractor in his overalls. He has his hair tied back today and is a little dirty and sweaty.
”Hello Billy. How’s it going?” Timmy asks.
Billy pauses and glances up at the sky. After a quick scan he looks at Timmy and holds his index finger up to his lips.
“Quite. No tweet tweets today. Peaceful.”
”Oh Sorry.” Timmy says just above a whisper.
“They hear me. They find me.”
”So what do we do then Billy? I really want to document your thoughts about Saturday night and about this upcoming week.”
Billy ducks down, crouches down next to the rear tractor tire keeping an eye in the sky. He nods.
“Follow me. I have a place where tweets won’t get us. They read my thoughts you know. They invade my head….not a good place to be.”
”Clearly.”
“What?”
”Nothing.”
“Follow me. Quickly. Quietly.”
Billy runs while staying low and heads into the hay barn. Timmy is right behind him……
Inside the hay barn Billy has stacked Hay bales for the last couple of days and in the stack that goes from the floor to the ceiling, Billy has left an opening. Billy walks through it and motions for Timmy to follow him, which he does. Timmy has to shimmy his way through this wall of hay that jetted out and once around that it opened up into a small little room. Inside the stack of hay bales Billy has made himself a small little room. He even made a couple of chairs out of some hay bales as well. Billy sits down and wipes his forehead with his forearm.
“There.” Billy says sounding relieved. “No one will find us in here.”
”I see that.” Timmy says.
Billy crosses his leg and pulls out a straw and starts chewing on it. “So what is on your mind Timmy?”
”Well as you know Nanook asked me to document everything for the documentary so, you won your match Saturday night.”
“YUP! Sure did! Showed that clown who is the boss I did.” Billy says.
”So I take it that you are happy with the outcome then?”
“Nah man. I’m disappointed. Pissed the hell off that I won. Like, what a joke you know. OF COURSE I’m pleased that I won. Ima here to win me some gold Timmy. Can’t do that from my back you know.”
”What about post match? Arch Stanton…”
Billy leans forward. “You know Timmy I am GLAD that you brought that up! I’ve got to get some things off of my chest you know and one of those things is Arch Stanton! Who does that old bastard think he is? Jumping me like that! Jealous old fart! Ima so happy that I finally can get my hands on that broken down old man this week! Let me tell ya something Timmy!”
Billy points at Timmy looking very serious.
“That old man is going to get his ass beat! There will be a moment in this match, this Captain Falls match and der isn’t a better captain than Cory by the way, when that old man will hobble his way into the ring, everyone will cheer most likely because they will be impressed he could pick his leg up and over the second rope and duck under the top rope without falling face first on the mat! At his advanced age THAT! Is a huge accomplishment for him. Then he will raise his hand in the air, they, the fans will start to chant his name and he love that, old people like being acknowledged for just being alive you know and if he is lucky, his knees won’t give out on him, his hips will stay in place and then….and only then. I will kick the holy hell out of him! This will be a fair fight, not some chicken shit sneak attack! Let’s see just how rough and tough he is when he looks me in the eyes as I bring the fight to him! I’ll blow him up, shatter his hip, leave him with a big old fat lip and that sad sack of human flesh can climb back in that 80’s relic of his, yeah that over done, everyone has seen one before and der ain’t nuttin special ‘bout it 32 Ford and cruise his sorry ass back to Texas when he can go back to wrangling steers or whatever it is that he does when he’s not limping his way on down to the ring! No one is impressed with a five litter deuce. I have 700 horses under the hood of my Hellcat and it will eat his stupid 32 up for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and the fourth meal! I tell you what! I CAN’T WAIT to shut that loud mouth up once and for all!”
”Now in this match, you finally will get your hands on Caleb Hart.” Timmy with the hard hitting questions.
“Ah yes…..Caleb Hart. The match up the UWL, hell the WORLD has been waiting for. Praying for. Wishing for….will finally take place. Maybe.”
”Maybe?”
“It is yet to be seen if he has the balls to actually get in the ring against me. He’s only been ducking me for the last 6 plus months. Yeah I noticed Caleb. Everybody gets to face him except for the one guy in the UWL who can actually defeat him. Kinda convenient on his part if you ask me. My bet is he makes Arch hang out there in that ring till he keels over with a heart attack or make that little guy get in the ring.”
”Tyson Turbo.”
“Who?”
”Tyson.”
“If I want chicken I’ll get some fresh off da farm chicken, not some pre proccessed bull shit.”
”No….that is the other guy you will face Saturday night. Tyson Turbo.”
“Never heard of him.”
”Tyson Turbo? Really?”
“Yeah...are you shitting me man? Der is a guy actually named Tyson Turbo in the UWL?”
”Yes! Where have you been? He’s pretty big with the fans. They like the little guy.”
“Little guy? Is James….Kelloggs? in this match?”
”What? NO! Tyson Turbo is.”
“Well I’ll be. I ain’t never heard of him. Guess I’ve been busy making millions selling Shine to notice some pint size runt named….Tyson Turbo?”
”He has a big heart.”
“He better go see a doctor then. Heard that shit can kill you. One of my momma’s boyfriends had a enlarged heart. Had to take meds and shit. He dropped dead of a heart attack on da front porch one night. It was tragic.”
”What? No! He doesn’t actually have a enlarged heart. It was a figure of speech.”
“Well that figures.”
”You know...anything else you want to say Billy?”
“Yeah! I have one thing to ask of you.”
”Me? What?”
“Are you currently busy?”
”Like besides this?”
“Well yeah. How is your afternoon? If it full?”
”No. I’ve got nothing planned. Why?”
Billy slaps his hands together and leaps to his feet.
“GREAT! Put dat camera down and come on! You get to help me stack hay bales buddy!”
”What? Now?”
“Yeah! Come on Timmy! Dey ain’t movin’ themselves!”
”Man….sh*t.”
cut out.