Post by Steve Sinclair on Nov 6, 2015 19:47:07 GMT
It's a fantastic Indian Summer fall day in the great state of Tennessee.
A perfect day for ride through the country side.....
A perfect day for ride through the country side.....
Just pretend it's a 700 Horse Dodge HellCat. I couldn't find what I seeing in my head.
With the windows down....
Lynyrd Skynyrd blaring from the stereo....
The stars and bars flying high......
Lynyrd Skynyrd blaring from the stereo....
The stars and bars flying high......
Spending time with Mother nature.....
About the only thing that would make this glorious day better.....
Then it would be the perfect day......
Billy’s Hellcat comes to a stop on the side of a dirt road. The driver’s side door swings open and stepping out in his Wranglers, Cat work boots, Genny Lite truckers hat is HillBilly Sutton. He spits some ‘bacca juice in the grass and nods.
"Yes sir! Today is a great day! Don’t know how many more of these days we’ll get before it gets all cold and snowy and shit. So while the sun is out, a warm front is blowin’ on up through. HillBilly Sutton is gettin’ out to have some fun before the big tag match tomorrow night in Knoxville. Yes sir bob. Ain’t nuttin’ like kickin’ up some dust in my super awesome 700 horse, way better than some stupid 32 Ford DODGE HELLCAT! You would think some old timer like Arch would know.”
Billy slowly closes the driver’s side door and spits some chew spit out.
"Mopar or no car.”
Billy makes his way down to the trunk of the car. Yeah I know this is looking way too familiar. Didn’t Billy do this like, a month ago? And yes, yes he did.
"Besides gettin’ out and enjoying the weather. Besides tearin’ shit up and smoking stupid Hondas and Chebbie Cobalts in my hot rod, showing those pansy’s just who is boss der is one other thing I want to do today. And that folks.”
Billy presses a button on his keyfob and pops the trunk open.
"Is send a message to our opponents. You see Cory and I, besides being a pair of stud muffins, a pair of real lady pleasers if you will. We’re both full blooded rednecks. A pair of hill Billy’s. Well hung down and dirty back woods country boys who like to throw down and bust someone’s face. Break some bones and this week, You Caleb Hart, Arch Stanton, you two are those lucky city slickers who will have a mud hole stomped right through them.”
Billy reaches in his trunk and pauses. He shakes his head.
"You know I heard that old windbag da the other day talkin’ about how much of a edge Caleb and he has in this here match. And man….old man don’t make me laugh. You ain’t got no edge. The edge in this here match is all on this side of the ring. We get along. I trust Cory. I have his back and he has mine. I ain’t looking to stab him in the back and use him to get ahead in the UWL. Can Arch say the same of you Caleb? I think not! So that edge you think you have, is useless. It’s worthless. Hell it doesn’t even exist. If fact Arch, since you love Ford so much and you’re in need of a new car, about the only edge you’ll ever have is that POS Ford Edge crossover junk.”
Billy points out into the field past the camera. The camera spins around and we see a…
Yup a brand new(ish) Ford Edge. A black one with “Arch’s new ride” spray painted along the side of the vehicle. We hear the trunk slam shut in the background and Billy walking closer to the camera.
"Dat’s it! Dat right there is Arch’s edge. Bask in it’s glory. Soak in how much that edge will help him in this match. You can just tell that with this edge of his, Caleb and old bag of bones Arch will be on the same page, after they go to dinner together, take in a movie and drive to the show after words. The show, nah, the event in which the wall begins to crumble around you Caleb, the show where we see the beginning of the end of you Arch. This is the event that changes the UWL forever!”
We hear a clicking sound, like a Winchester model 1866 being cocked. Then we hear a loud bang and the rear side window of the Ford Edge being shot out. The cameraman backs up to catch Billy cocking the rifle again and taking aim, and shooting out the driver’s side window. Timmy making sure to capture all of this on film.
"Oops…...Sorry about that Arch.”
Billy fires again. Taking out the front tire. He fires again punching a hole into the front vendor, then the door, the hood, takes out the windshield. Billy fires a dozen times hitting the Edge and his final shot hits the gas tank and the edge explodes into a fireball! It was so Hollywood like! Mushroom cloud and everything!
Billy laughs.
"Now today is a perfect day. Whenever you can squeeze off a few rounds and fuck shit up, you know it’s a good day. And Saturday night, will be another great day too, when the Bionic Rednecks wreck the future of the UWL when we take out the golden boy and his elder lap dog.”
Fade out.