Post by Steve Sinclair on Nov 8, 2015 22:05:29 GMT
As the scene opens up we hear a door swing open and slam shut, it’s a metal door hitting a metal door frame. Hard sole shoes like from a work boot or hiking boot is heard scuffing along ceramic tile. The Bad Ass James Kelloggs comes into the frame of the picture and he looks….he looks hungover. Blood shot eyes.
Hat on sideways.
Cheeks are flush as he stands up against a wall. We hear the sound of a zipper and a split second later the sound of water hitting water. Yup he’s taking a piss.
”Oh man….that feels good.”
He’s a small little guy with the size of a bladder five times bigger than Big John Studd's. In mid stream he starts to bob his head like he has a tune stuck in his head.
”Girls….” He starts to sing.
”All I want is…..”
“And in the morning it’s…..”
“Cuz in the evening it’s……”
It must be a good piss cuz James closes his eyes and tilts his head back.
”I like the way they walk…”
“And it’s chilly to hear them talk….”
“And I can always make them smile….”
“From White Castle to the Nile.”
James finishes up peeing. He jiggles, I’m guessing and zips up. He flushes and walks over to the sink. Two pumps of hand soap and a thorough washing. Then it’s to the door where he swings it open and steps outside.
Inside a strip club, Cypress Hill’s Insane is playing. James starts bobbing as he makes his way over to his table where a couple of strippers are hanging out in more ways than one way. It’s loud and everyone is partying. Two girls are up on the stage putting on a show and the alcohol is flowing freely in the VIP section where James has put up shop. He is about to take his seat on the couch in between two very lovely ladies when he stops. He spins around and takes ahold of the camera from the cameraman.
”For the last motherf*cking time! I don’t know who the fuck Broseidon is and I’m not f*cking tagging up with that motherf*cker!!! I don’t know how many other way I can f*cking tell you! I don’t team up with gamers. I don’t team up with seven foot tall goofballs! I only team up with f*cking bears! Big gnarly, flesh eating, f*cking shit up f*cking BEARS! I’ve got a partner for the Coronation cup coming up! The Bad Ass and Binky the bear! Got that douche?”
Clearly this has been a conversation that has been going on all night long and James has had enough of it. James is fed up.
”You know what? Here! Here is a little message for the Bromister. Okay, My final answer. The Bad Ass one, he doesn’t like how you came off like you are some grand wizard, a genetic freak. Until this dillhole told me that I am scheduled to face you, I have never f*cking heard of you. Let it be known that you are no one. A nobody. YOU are the smelly gamer dick who has to pay chicks for handjobs and the spit cost extra! I also don’t like being called a midget! And if you think you are going to throw me around, throw me at people like I’m your own personal midget for midget tossing…..”
You can tell this annoys James and fires him up. He pauses, clenches his teeth, clenches his fist and just wants to lash out at the camera. His face turns bright red.
”ahhhh Motherf*cker I am going to kick your dick right through your f*cking teeth, wrap your unshaved scrotum around that stack of dimes you call a neck and watch you choke to death on your own sh*t! Yeah, you’ll be more than surprised when that little pecker of yours gets stretched that far! And if Chester the molester even hints that he’s going to climb in the ring and f*ck with me, I will force fed you to him! Don’t forget bitch, I have a partner, he is a f*cking bear.”
James leans in towards the camera.
”And he’s hungry. Winter is coming and he’s packing on the winter weight and storing calories to burn during hibernation, one little bitch at a time. I’m James Kelloggs, The Bad Ass! I don’t team up with bitches, only motherf*cking bears! In 6 days I’m going to leave ya battered and beaten, so battered that they will dip ya, dip ya in a sugary glaze and sprinkle some sprinkles on ya, make you look real yummy for Binky. And about two minutes after that, we will never hear of Broseidon ever again! Now get out of here bitch!”
James shoves the camera away from him.
-out-