vs Best Team Eva II

Do you remember a couple of weeks back, backstage at Road to Nightmare (I Think) James Kelloggs was cutting a promo backstage about his next match he was hoping to get booked for and in the background was this new face to the UWL. A unknown face to the UWL. No one knew who he was. This guy, this tall skinny hipster with one of those stupid hipster combovers hair styles wearing hipster pants, shirt, scarf pointed at James Kelloggs and called him what he hates the most in life, being called a midget. James takes great offense to that. It’s not his fault he’s 4 feet tall. Well James smashed this douche in his nuts, locked him in a DDT and dropped this dump f*ck on his head in complete bad ass style.


Well that guy’s name is VeggieBurger. He’s a vegan. He’s against GMO’s. Wants to fight global warming and a card carrying member of PETA. When he’s not working he volunteers for Sea Shepherd to save the whales. Yeah he’s one of “those guys”. A funny thing happened after that DDT. James Kelloggs, The BadAss One, took VeggieBurger under his wing to show him the ropes and so today VeggieBurger is joining Kelloggs as he gears up for the first match in the 2015 Tag Team Coronation Cup Tournament……


As the scene opens up, we’re hitting a old school vibe today. Just James and Veggie standing in front of a UWL banner. And yes, James Kelloggs is on a box of sorts to bump him up in the shot some. VeggieBurger is standing over James’s left shoulder holding up a sign that reads





James Kelloggs ”You know kiddies I woke up today, rolled over onto my side and girlfriend was sound asleep. She has this long flowing blonde hair, feathered out some, big old titties that she had some work done on and down below…”


James raises one eyebrow and has a little smirk on his face.


James Kelloggs “She was sporting what she called a 80’s look. Straight from the pages of Playboy from the 80’s and if you don’t know what I am saying, google it. It was fun I’ll admit to have a….”


James crosses his arm and taps his index finger on his chin. VeggieBurger switches his sign in the background and holds it up and it reads…




James Kelloggs “A throw back day last night, looking up seeing a nice fluffy patch of fur to run my fingers through and it got me thinking. Last night I was taken back to a time from long ago, a throwback day and the UWL this week is also have a throwback day.”


Veggie flips his sign around displaying it proudly.




James Kelloggs “Wishing it was still the summer of 2015, when Caleb Hart was still the champion. Throwing out there relics from 2008, trotting out the Best Team Eva! just hoping, wishing that these two guys who had their time in the spotlight not that long ago when they were inducted into the UWL Hall of Fame would put some asses in the seat since Caleb Hart tucked his tail between his toothpick legs and hightailed it out of town since he knew his day was coming when he would lose those belts to the Bad Ass One.”


Veggie drops his sign and holds up a new one.





James Kelloggs “Everyone is sitting around laughing like a room full of tards clapping like a bunch of seals as the old timers prance around in front of the camera, hashtagging everything just hoping that they could still connect with these little kids of today who have no idea who they are.”


New sign by Veggie in the background





James Kelloggs “And I’m sure they are feeling good about themselves because as they say, they are facing a midget and a bear.”


Veggie flips the sign around and it reads :





James Kelloggs “Like I told you two bitches last week. There is no way you can beat a 1500 pound bear! No freaking way! You can talk alllllll the talk you two want but in one short day, you two will go face to face with a bear that wants to rip your two apart! You can not take this lightly. Bears will freaking kill you! You can’t turn your back on a bear nor can you sleep when a bear is around! Now you might be wondering to yourself, James! Come on man! It’s a bear, what could happen? Well you little bitch why don’t you go find a guy named Daniel O’Conner…...what’s that? You can’t find him and ask what happens when you come across a big f*cking bear…”


VeggieBurger drops his sign and has a new one.





James Kelloggs “What my GMO hating friend is saying that you can’t ask Daniel what happens when you cross paths with a bear because the bear won. Yeah Daniel came face to face with a bear on May 10th of this year and that was it. Game over. The same fate awaits you two! Eagles, Stevens will join O'Connor six feet under Saturday night.”





James Kelloggs “UWL little throwback day will come to a rather sudden end when Blinky is standing on top of your carcasses and we move to the next round and one step closer to the UWL tag Team Titles and the 2015 Coronation Cup.”





James Kelloggs “Just enjoy your last couple of days you bunch of bitches cuz they will soon be numbered!”


James hops down from his soap box and VeggieBurger steps forward holding up a new sign that reads:





Fade out.