Post by Steve Sinclair on Dec 8, 2015 23:15:03 GMT
Shot of HillBilly Sutton in a recording booth. He has headphones on doing some promotional work for the UWL on a upcoming tour that hasn’t been announced yet. He might have had one or two or more sips of his Shine and the mic was hot when he starts to messing around with the producer and the following clip was uploaded to youtube under the title.
Cocky things Pro Wrestlers say:
“What’s up? Yeah dude I know I look awesome.”
“G.O.A.T? Yeah I invented that.”
“I taught Lou Thesz everything he knows.”
“I am simply the best….ever.”
“I wear three jockstraps.”
“This promotion would fold without me.”
“I am the most important guy in the locker room.”
“I was hired to play Undertaker but I turned it down. It was lame”
“I don’t need elbow pads, I just wear them to save the other guys face.”
“Ric Flair, ain’t even good.”
“John Cena, ain’t even good.”
“Triple H, ain’t even good.”
“Seth Rollins, ain’t even good….okay he is a little.”
“Yeah man, I told Brock Lesnar he can use my finisher.”
“I coined the term Hulkamania.”
“I’m a god.”
“Sellout? Every night I sell out the place.”
“Dark match? Never heard of them? Is that a match with the lights off?”
“If so, Yeah I have them all the time with my girl.”
“I’m Mr. Main Event.”
“I’m Mr. IPPV.”
“I’m Mr. Right now.”
“I’m going to break Bruno’s record.”
“I don’t get out of bed for less than 6 figures.”
“I dared Sting to cut a promo with his back to the camera.”
“I dared Vince to ring that bell in Montreal.”
“Botchamania? What’s that?”
“I gave Vince Russo the idea for the Monday Night Wars.”
“I invented the NWO.”
“I invented DX.”
“I invented the Shield.”
“I’ve never been beaten.”
“I’ve never tapped. It’s true. Check my Wiki page.”
“I wrestled a bear once, is what I did once and is the name of my side band.”
“MMA is for pussies.”
“I write all of Heyman’s promos.”
“I personally trained Sasha Banks.”
“I get royalties from Wrestlemania 3, I’m the little kid in the front row. I totally owned that character.”
“I’m on Forbes list.”
Scene opens up with HillBilly Sutton back home in Hickory South Carolina this week getting ready to win his second Coronation Cup and he is home at his Uncle Ned’s farm. It felt good for him to be back home this week, help his uncle out on the farm for the week and run into a couple of old buddies from school, before he dropped out. Today we find the Shiner out back of the barn leaning up against this old van he drove around before he got into wrestling. It’s a black van with Dale JR stickers all over it. At least it’s not Free Candy stickers.
“The Bionic Rednecks did what we said we would do. Dump Hamilton and Dampshaw on their skulls and move on to the next round and get one step closer to the Cup and those tag belts. As so Williams and Hammer. And Autumn Raven and Billy Danielson.”
Billy wets his lips and strokes his beard.
“And one of our opponents this week, Eagles and Stevens. Those three teams and Cory and I, we earned our way to the semifinals and who ever gets to the finals, can look back, win or lose and go, Yeah we went through every team in front of us and took them out! Except for one team.”
Billy crosses his arms.
“Omega Combat. Why they get a first round by and get to slide right into the Semi’s is a complete and utter joke. What have they done ever in the UWL to get this kind of special treatment? I’m a two time tag champion, former cup winner, Cory is the best TV champion in the history of the UWL, why can’t we get that nod? Why couldn’t Williams who is the best Prestige champion in the history of the UWL and a former tag champion who never lost the belts when the League decided to vacate them get this special treatment? You, UWL, allowed two guys who have done nothing and mean nothing to the UWL get a bye and waltz right into the next round and you have two guys fresh from being elected into the Hall of Fame, everyone is excited to see them return to the UWL, you make them face a freaking bear. What? No love for them? Whatever.”
Billy reaches in his back pocket and removes his can of chew.
“At this point the only possible explanation for this is as simple as this.”
Billy taps the top of his chew can with his thumb.
“You just want to make sure that you can do everything in your power to stack the odds up against the Bionic Rednecks, making sure that you placed enough roadblocks down in front Cory and I to guarantee that we don’t go home with the gold and I’m not really sure why?”
Billy pops open the can and takes a pinch and is about to stuff his bottom lip when he pauses and hold his hand out.
“Now I know what you’re thinkin’. What BIlly? You got some sour grapes? Don’t like that you have to go through a three way match to get to the finals when on the other side of the bracket it’s just a normal tag match? Nah! But it did piss me off some. Throwin’ some bullsh*t like this in middle of the tournament like this. The Rednecks and the clowns in BTE, We can see where we rank in the grand scheme of things. But I’m tellin’ ya this once UWL.”
Billy holds his bottom lip out and stuffs his lip with chew. He snaps the lid on his can of chew and rubs his hands together.
“Don’t get mad at Cory and I when we hurt those two in Omega Combat to the point that they can’t return to where ever they came from and finish out their contract. Don’t get all sue happy when he put them on the shelve. It’s not our fault that you placed them in harm's way, in our way and we took offense to it.”
Billy slides the can back in his back pocket.
“As far as the rest of the teams in this tournament go. This has been a nice little trip down memory lane for the fans, for the people in the front office and for Eagles and Stevens but this little remember when we did this trip is coming to abrupt end. The fun ride is over with. You had your time. You guys used to be in the spotlight and you used to be the pulse of the UWL…..but not anymore. You had your little fun and now it’s time for you two to do what you do best of all, step aside and allow the real team in the UWL do what we were put on this earth to do.”
Billy spits.
“And that is f*ck sh*t up. Those belts are coming home with us. That cup is ours and der is all to dat.”
Billy pushes himself off of the van and steps close to the camera and looks right into it.
“Got it? Good.”
Billy shoves the camera away from him and the scene fades out.