Post by Steve Sinclair on Dec 16, 2015 23:42:52 GMT
Late at night somewhere Hickory North Carolina, home to UWL superstar HillBilly Sutton.
Billy is standing under a light pole, leaning up against it with a bottle of shine in one hand, spit bottle in the other.
"2015 is coming to an end and on the final show of the year, the last hurrah for the UWL before we call it a day for the Holidays. We will hold a event that for many within the UWL, outside the UWL, thought would never ever happen. Like a strike of lightening. Like a drunk driver crossing the centerline and comin’ towards ya. Like a cop ambushin’ ya after you bought a baggie here we are. Gettin’ ready to crown a new UWL Triple Crown Champion. Former champion Caleb Hart picked up his bag and left the UWL high and dry without a champion. Guess he had enough. Guess he saw the writing the on the wall, whatever the case is, this is what we’re doing this week. A Universal Gauntlet match to crown a new champ and you bet everyone and their brother will be talking smack this week and so far this week, the heavy hitters, the guys who everyone, the so called experts have picked as the early front runners to win those belts in a match that is a complete crapshot have all come out swinging.”
Billy spits in his spit bottle.
"And don’t worry I’m about to join the sh*t talkers too but first!”
Billy sets his bottle down on the pavement along with his bottle of Shine. He brings his hands together in front of his face like he is praying.
"How about we show some respect and we have a moment of silences for the former Champion. Mr. 300 days. Caleb Hart.”
Billy lowers his head and closes his eyes……..
Flashback to last week……
To Billy in the recording studio where he had to do some voice overs for the UWL for some upcoming projects…..
Billy takes a sip of water. (I know the shock! Water) and cracks his knuckles.
"You liked that? Yeah?” Billy says to who ever in the recording room sitting behind the soundboard. "I’ve got another one. Nah man something along the same lines, but different. I call it. Crap Caleb Hart would never say. Wanna hear it? Okay cool.”
Billy takes a sip of water, clears his throat and begins.
Crap Caleb Hart would never say…
“I only win due to sheer dumb luck.”
“I wish Jay Jefferson would adopt me. Feels weird calling him my uncle.”
“I know! I’ve been waiting for Autumn Raven to pin me too. What I wouldn’t do to get her on top of me.”
“Monster Max tripped and fell on me, I just couldn’t kick out. I was choking on his beard.”
“I have OCD? Me? Never!”
“I was highly disappointed to learn that Frankie CoCheese was lactose intolerant. I was going to have a five cheese burrito with him.”
“I always wanted to wrestle in a unitard.”
“My greatest achievement in life was the time I defeated….(snaps fingers) you know that guy for the UWL TV title two weeks into my UWL career.”
“The Coronation Cup is overrated.”
“Drew Stevenson is overrated.”
“Robb Daniels is overrated.”
“Joe Jones is overrated….okay he’s not.”
“I sometimes mistake Alan Christopher for Justin Brooks. They could be twins.”
“The UWL should really hire someone to do interviews. I get tired of cutting all of my promos solo.”
“The only reason why the UWL unified the Heritage title with the World title is because I have separation anxiety.”
“My totem animal is the viper. Snakes are cool.”
“I never get a haircut. I trained my hair to stop growing.”
“Deep down, after every match, I break down and cry. I’m a real emotional guy.”
“I really wish I could show that side of my personality more. Then people would really connect with me.”
“My hobby is quilting.”
“50 shades of grey is the only book on my bookshelf. The story telling in that novel is wonderful.”
“I fear midgets.”
“I know James Kelloggs can beat me.”
“My favorite boy band of all time? Dude? Seriously? It’s 98 degrees!”
“Yeah well you shouldn’t have had to ask that question.”
“When I retire, which will be never but if I do happen to retire. I’m going to be a gold miner in Alaska.”
“No diamonds are a guy’s best friend.”
“I have a summer home in San Fran.”
“Did you read the latest Playbill?”
“Can’t believe it took the UWL this long to put me in the hall of fame.”
“What does 300 mean to me? That is my IQ.”
To Billy in the recording studio where he had to do some voice overs for the UWL for some upcoming projects…..
Billy takes a sip of water. (I know the shock! Water) and cracks his knuckles.
"You liked that? Yeah?” Billy says to who ever in the recording room sitting behind the soundboard. "I’ve got another one. Nah man something along the same lines, but different. I call it. Crap Caleb Hart would never say. Wanna hear it? Okay cool.”
Billy takes a sip of water, clears his throat and begins.
Crap Caleb Hart would never say…
“I only win due to sheer dumb luck.”
“I wish Jay Jefferson would adopt me. Feels weird calling him my uncle.”
“I know! I’ve been waiting for Autumn Raven to pin me too. What I wouldn’t do to get her on top of me.”
“Monster Max tripped and fell on me, I just couldn’t kick out. I was choking on his beard.”
“I have OCD? Me? Never!”
“I was highly disappointed to learn that Frankie CoCheese was lactose intolerant. I was going to have a five cheese burrito with him.”
“I always wanted to wrestle in a unitard.”
“My greatest achievement in life was the time I defeated….(snaps fingers) you know that guy for the UWL TV title two weeks into my UWL career.”
“The Coronation Cup is overrated.”
“Drew Stevenson is overrated.”
“Robb Daniels is overrated.”
“Joe Jones is overrated….okay he’s not.”
“I sometimes mistake Alan Christopher for Justin Brooks. They could be twins.”
“The UWL should really hire someone to do interviews. I get tired of cutting all of my promos solo.”
“The only reason why the UWL unified the Heritage title with the World title is because I have separation anxiety.”
“My totem animal is the viper. Snakes are cool.”
“I never get a haircut. I trained my hair to stop growing.”
“Deep down, after every match, I break down and cry. I’m a real emotional guy.”
“I really wish I could show that side of my personality more. Then people would really connect with me.”
“My hobby is quilting.”
“50 shades of grey is the only book on my bookshelf. The story telling in that novel is wonderful.”
“I fear midgets.”
“I know James Kelloggs can beat me.”
“My favorite boy band of all time? Dude? Seriously? It’s 98 degrees!”
“Yeah well you shouldn’t have had to ask that question.”
“When I retire, which will be never but if I do happen to retire. I’m going to be a gold miner in Alaska.”
“No diamonds are a guy’s best friend.”
“I have a summer home in San Fran.”
“Did you read the latest Playbill?”
“Can’t believe it took the UWL this long to put me in the hall of fame.”
“What does 300 mean to me? That is my IQ.”
Fade back to Billy standing under the light pole. Moment of silence is over with. Billy flicks the chew from his bottom lip as he fished it out in the flashback and he picks up his bottle of Shine.
"So enough on the former champion and more on the next champion and you can damn well bet that every guy in this match is going to say loud and proud dat they will be the next UWL Triple Crown Champion…”
Billy tilts his bottle of shine in a cheer.
"And I ain’t going to any different. Anyone can win this match. All you need is some luck. All you gots to be is lucky. Just weather the storm, pace yourself and fight your fight and you will find a way to get to the end, to face Sunday Night Heat and pin him and boom, dat belt is yours. Simple as that right?”
Billy takes a sip of his Shine and starts to walk.
"Yeah. Simple like dat. I’m sure everyone is feeling good about themselves in this here match. It’s there time. This is their calling, whatever it is dat they are saying to give themselves some sort of edge in this match. Be it, SNH in just hanging out for someone to be the last guy standing and hoping that guy is worn right out. Maybe it’s your the current Prestige champion and new tag champs and you’re like, clearly I have a leg up on everyone in this match. I have proven myself as a top notch champion and I come into this match coming off of big win. Maybe you’re a fresh face guy who we haven’t seen in the ring in some time now, you’re not hurt. All injury free and ready to go!”
Billy takes another sip of his Shine as he is walking through a parking lot. He walking past some stuff but without a light on it we can’t really see it.
"Maybe you have been in the UWL for ever and ever and have been through this type of match before. Or maybe you are just old as dirt and have been in a couple of rumble of matches in the past. Whatever the case, whatever your story is, whatever it is you talked yourself into believe as to why you win this match.”
Billy stops and he places his hand on something, something that looks like a plow.
"It doesn’t matter. It will do you no good because guys, gals. I’m crashing the party. With this!”
BIlly stands back and holds his hands out and he is standing in front of a D6 Cat Bulldozer.
"Yeah remember back when I got my check for my HellCat that Arch wrecked on me? Yeah well I bought my replacement. A bulldozer! And I’m using this baby to crash everyone’s little party. I using it to bury your plans of winning this rumble. I’m going to crush everyone on my way to the UWL triple Crown Championship with this bad boy and when I’m done winning what is mine……”
Billy taps on the top of the blade with his knuckles.
"I’m coming after you Arch and do to you what you did to my car and then, I’ll bury you when I’m done with your carcass.”
Billy takes one last sip of Shine and walks around to the side of his new ride and climbs up on it, fires it up and raises the blade as the scene fades out.