Post by Steve Sinclair on Jan 8, 2016 17:19:28 GMT
Somewhere in Tokyo……
Along the street are all of these vending machines. You can get just about anything you want in these things. Books, shoes, food, snacks, shirts, hats, underwear, used underwear if you're into that sort of thing. It’s amazing what is in these things and that is where we find our favorite Shinner of the UWL, HIllBilly Sutton. You just find what you want, swipe your card or enter some money in the machine, punch in which box you want and open the door and bam! Instant whatever you wanted.
He’s standing in front of one of these rows of vending machines and this row, which has some sign above them that Billy has no idea what it means but after seeing what was in the machines Billy took it to mean drinks. Alcohol to be precise. Billy is standing in front of 4 empty boxes watching them like a eagle. All around him are name brands we all know and love.
Budweiser
Miller
Miller Lite
Jack Daniels
Jim Beam
Greygoose
You name it, they have it in one of the boxes except for one brand and Billy is making sure he corrects this today.
“I almost sh*t myself when I saw this on the streets you know. Beer vending machine. It’s a rednecks dream. Chilled little boxes, slide in your ID, slide in your card and boom, beer. Just when I thought this country was boring and dull they give me this. Except that I saw one problem with this section, whatever you call this block of machines. Der ain’t no Redneck Remedy Moonshine and it took me a bit to find who owns this and talk to them but I think I just corrected this wrong. Can’t have some sidewalk beer dispensing machine with no Shine in it! That is just a crime.”
Billy watches these four empty boxes. Timmy who is becoming Billy’s personal camera man swings around to be almost right front of Billy.
“Reckon you want me to talk about what happened last week yeah?”
Timmy ”That would be nice Billy. We heard from The Hammer, UWL Triple Crown Champion Craig Williams….”
“Yeah just stop right der. I think we heard from them enough already. Anything they say is just complete bullsh*t from them. Just two dudes who know they got beat the f*ck up and are trying to spin a story to show themselves in a favorable light but everyone saw it last week. Everyone in that arena, everyone watching at home on Showtime. They all saw what happened. Yeah sure you two might have won the match.” Billy says as he shrugs. ”You won a match that in the grand scheme of things, meant nothing. Hell that loss meant nothing. That was just some crap that they, the UWL booked to get the fans all excited, to sell tickets, to make sure this tour of this godforsaken city has some buzz. The so called suits who sit around a table in some office somewhere knew what would happen. Showtime themselves knew what would happen. Every fan in that arena and at home knew what would happen and the 6 of us in that match, we knew what would happen and that was when that ref counted three, called for da bell and raised someone’s hand, someone was then going to get a old fashion beat down! That is when the real match was about to start. That is when the world was going to see who was just there in that ring, in this company as a pawn and who was in that ring and in this company to send a message, to create some chaos and set the tone for the rest of the year and you Williams, played your role just the way we thought you were going to play it.”
Billy slides his hands in his pockets.
”Like the poser champion that you are, like the poser champion the UWL wants you to be. Ain’t no one ever going to be able to live up to being the guy who followed Caleb Hart. If anything you are just a placeholder for the next champion, a true champion. Some one this company, these fans can get behind. Not some guy who runs his mouth and when it counts, gets beaten to a pulp. Not some guy who needs a puppet at his side, a guy who runs his mouth more than you do and you know something, I don’t care if your name is The Hammer. If had enough of your mouth buddy.”
Billy glances at the 4 empty boxes quick.
”Enough about mutt and jeff, soon those tag belts will be ours and that’s all der is to dat. Dis week Chevy and I, we get to correct a wrong from last month. This week. Cory and I, we get to sink our teeth into two guys who are ashamed to even be here in the UWL. This week, The UWL TV champion and I, we get to chase Slade and Kayne from the UWL once and for all. If it wasn’t fer you two morons we, the Bionic Rednecks would have easily defeated the Best Team Ever and we would have faced Williams and Franco for the Cup and those titles and standing here on some street in Tokyo, I would have my UWL tag team title over my shoulder once again, where it should be to begin with. I don’t know who you two know in the front office, I don’t know how much money you two had to hand over to get into that semi final match and turn it into a 3 way clusterf*ck, basically buying your way past the first round...but I know this. You two will pay for that lack of judgement. You cost us those belts and we will make you two pay in pain, in blood, in broken bones. We will beat you so bad….so badly that you two will leave the UWL once and for all.”
Billy cracks a smile. He walks up to one of the four empty boxes and a worker on the backside of the machine is sliding in a bottle of Billy’s Shine. He looks like a proud papa.
”Dat’s what I’m talkin’ about! Finally something worth wild in this rat nest of a country. Slade and Kayne….” Billy turns and leans up against the machine with a bottle of his shine over his shoulder in the box for sale. ”I hope you two were watchin’ last week, watchin’ how we destroyed the tag champs because you two will come face to face with the same fate this week, when the pain train rumbles out from the back, goes full steam ahead on you and pulverises you into the mat. But you could save yourselves right now…..save yourselves by getting on the next plane out and go back to Omega Combat Wrestling where you two will still be allowed to have a career. Cuz if you show up Saturday Night.”
Billy pushes off of the vending machine and takes a look at four of his bottles of Shine in the machine on sale for the first time in Japan.
”It’ll be the last match you two ever have. And to steal a line from The Hammer. I dare ya to prove us wrong.”
Fade out.