Post by Steve Sinclair on Jan 15, 2016 19:35:14 GMT
In a private jet heading back from Japan somewhere over the UK when a cell phone rings.
The camera comes to life, first looking out the window and then down at the cell phone buzzing away on the table. A hand reaches out and picks up the phone.
”Speak!” A voice commands. ”Never heard of it. Yeah? How much? You know that I don’t work for peanuts and if I’m going to even show up in that state…..where? San Fran? Really? Better double it. Yeah I said double it! Listen! They need the Bad Ass One, The Bad Ass One doesn’t need them! You know I was flown into Japan for a non contracted date right? And you know they paid for everything right? Yeah well when you’re a man of my stature that is how business is done! Tell em! I don’t care what their budget is! If they want the Bad Ass One to even be in the same state that they are then they need to pay the f*ck up! Got it? You better.”
Just then a real sexy flight attendant walks up to the Bad Ass One. Short skirt, low cut suit revealing the goods, long flowing blonde hair and a pretty smile. ”Is everything okay Mr. Kelloggs? Do you need anything?” she asks and reaches out and starts to rub his arm.
”Listen. Something just came up. Yeah well I’m a f*cking busy guy! Sh*t to do, people to do, you know very important stuff. Got to go. Double my rate! You hear me! You better.” The Bad Ass says as he sets his phone down on the table in front of him. The camera pans back to the blonde. ”You know bae, there is something you can do for me. I’m feeling…..stressed. Maybe you can….”
”SO….where are we going?” A voice says ruining the moment.
”You out the door without a parachute.” The Bad Ass grumbles. The blonde pats him on the forearm and smirks and walks away. ”YOu can run but you can’t hide on my plane Bae! I will find you!” he says as the camera peeks over the seat back in front of him. We see her glance over his shoulder biting her bottom lip.
”I hope you do.” she says and disappears in the back of the plane. The camera pans back down and looking around the seat is this hipster looking douchebag with his stupid combover hairdo.
”So who is looking to hire us?” He asks.
”You mean me? They are looking to hire me, not you, not Veggieburger, they are looking to hire the Bad Ass One. Understand. No one wants to see you wrestle.”
”Right now they don’t but soon they will. I can feel it.”
”Keep dreaming.”
”So who wants to hire us?”
”This place in San Fran….”
High pitched squeal. Veggieburger is like a teenage school girl when he hears the words San Fran….
”I LOVE SAN FRAN! THEY HAVE THE BEST FARMER MARKETS! Oh my god! This one place.”
”STOP! Right there! I don’t care about no farmer markets or any of that hippie stuff you are into….wait? Is there hot chicks there?”
”Oh yeah! All natural girls. I meet this girl there once, Jennifer and she worked on this farm where they grew organic herbs and veggies. Oh my god! She was a goddess.”
”You’re not really selling me on this. What she good looking?”
”Oh she’s beautiful. Here look at her twitter…”
Veggie hands over his phone and The Bad Ass checks it out.
”Ah she’s not bad. I guess in a pinch it would work.”
”So are we going?” Veggie asks.
”Yeah. We’re going kid. We’re going to stri sh*t up in Darc Pro Sports and those fools have no idea what is on the horizon. Everything they know, their way of life is about to change because when the Bad Ass One arrives….I just became the top dog. The head honco. The big dick swinging in the room that all of the ladies want to hop on cuz my name is James Kelloggs, The Bad Ass and you know you all want my crunchy oats and honey. Peace!”
Cut to black.