vs SNH

“Siri. Find me the best restaurant in Tokyo.”


Brief pause.


“Ok. Check it out.” Siri says.


“Siri. Call Kozue.”


Scene opens up inside the highly rated Kozue restaurant in Tokyo on the 40th floor of some high rise building. Sitting at a table with no alcohol whatsoever in front of him is HillBilly Sutton, but he’s dressed up today. Hair pulled back in a man bun! Dress shirt, suit jacket. Tie! His beard brushed, trimmed and braided. If you listen closely you can hear ZZ Top’s Sharp Dressed Man playing in the background because Billy is dressed to the nines! If he was a chick you could say he “cleans up rather nice.” But he’s not a chick, he’s a dude.


A server walks over and sets a salad down in front of Billy and looks at as if he has never seen a salad before. The server disappears and Billy picks up his salad fork.


“Mockery!” Billy begins with as he stabs a leaf of lettuce with his fork. “Is the most sincere form of flattery….or something like that. Perhaps!” Billy says as he raises one eyebrow. “I didn’t go to Harvard law. Perhaps! I didn’t go to Yale. Perhaps! Just perhaps, I am too frickin smart for those places. Who needs a piece of paper in a picture frame that says I hereby spent a ton of money and went to Duke and got this big fancy degree as a tax preparer….”


Billy shoves the lettuce in his mouth and chews on it for a second or two.


“I mean accountant. There is really no difference between the two job titles, just that under one job title you work at H and R block and make a couple of thousand a tax season and the other, you make a hundred grand a year. You know who in my family worked at H and R Block?”


Billy stabs a roma tomato with his salad fork.


“My mom and come April she would get a big old check for slaving away doing everyone else’s taxes and with that check she would take us kids down to Wal Marts and in middle of April months before we went “back to school”, we would do back to school shopping while still in school and those clothes would sit in their walmart bags in mom’s room till we went back to school the following year. Do you know how hard it was to stay ahead of the fashion scene growing up as a kid when you did your shopping like, 6 months before everyone else did? Not that Hickory North Carolina is the fashion hub of the world but you know it was the 90’s. So!”


Billy eats his tomato and follows that with a sip of water, with a wedge of lemon in it.


“As a kid I kept it simple. As my uncle Ned would say on the farm in summer. Billy, just remember this one thing fer your entire life. Keep it simple stupid. And so it was Wrangle jeans, Cat work boots, Knock off Nike shoes, pocket tees and flannel. Why? Because that look, that style if you will never goes out of style. Everyone I knew wore that. I was a poor backwoods kid and that is all you needed. No suits. No penny loafers. Sandals were for the guys who were funny and wore bright clothes and wore a sweater over their shoulders. They would get preppy haircuts, plastered the haircuts with “products” so it looked cool. They smelled of lilacs and baby wipes and they easily could be stuffed into their lockers. They were the type who didn’t hang out the sand pits, throwing pallets you stole from the Piggy Wiggle's in a pile and lighting them up and sipping on some hooch that someone snuck from their dad’s liquor cabinet. They were “above” that whatever that means.”


Another fork load of salad for Billy.


“There is much more to life than who you are wearing. I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth but look at me now. I reckon my checking account matches yours Heat or at least eclipse it. People love Shine, everywhere you go, they want my Shine. They want to buy it and drink it. Not because it’s a fad, not because it’s the vogue thing to do. They want it because it’s a simple down home drink. It’s nothing over complicated. Spin the top and sip it and before you know it you’re feeling just fine without a care in the world. It’s like a hug from your mom. It makes you get that warm fuzzy feeling in your belly when you rest you head between your first pair of tits and you’ll remember it like when your hand comes in contact for the first time with your girl’s big old bush. You never forget those feelings or how it made you so happy. Hell just thinking about those two events in my life brings a smile to my face.”


Billy drops the fork on the plate picks up his napkin and wipes the edge of his mouth.


“So go ahead Heat. Hang out at the western bars here in Tokyo. Dress down if you will. Let your hair out and live a little and go get your square dance on. Ain’t noone going to think any less of you if you do. Hell look at me. Today I decided I would try to live the Sunday Night Heat lifestyle and I have to tell you. I needed a nap after getting my hair just right, my arms hurt from brushing my beard out and I broke out the card and got me some new threads. Booked me a table by the window here in this highly rated place and I ordered the most expensive item on the menu. I’m living it up! I’m living a day in the life of Sunday Night Heat and I’ve got to tell you. My guts are killing me. I have been holding in this fart ever since I walked in. I mean it so wants to get out, the pressure is too much to bear. I can’t let it out, it wants to but I don’t dare too. I have been here almost a hour and I haven’t heard one fart yet! No wonder you are so damn uptight, you’re too worried about holding in your farts! Is that why you never smile? The fart holding business is too much for you? You know what? F*ck it.”


Billy leans to the side and lets it rip. It’s a real loud juicy one. Everyone in the place heard it and they all look at Billy stunned, appalled that he would even dare to release like that in public. Billy fans it away from him.


“Dear lord! GD that is awful. Somethings just aren’t meant to be kept locked in.”


A couple next to Billy actually get up and leave. You can see other people in the place cover their noses. Billy loosens his tie and slides out of his jacket.


“I can’t do it. I can’t be you no matter how hard I tried Heat and you know what? That is just fine by mean. But you know one thing that I can and will do?”


Billy lets his hair down and start to unbraid his beard.


“Beat ya this weekend. Pin ya one, two, three in middle of that ring and the reason why Ima gunna do this isn’t very complicated one. It has nothing to do with Haley and if we’re being honest here for a second. If I wanted to get with her which I wouldn’t because friends don’t bang their friend’s daughters, I could. I could bag and tag that in a heartbeat and I would get her name tattooed right here.”


Billy pulls back his sleeve to show his forearm.


“Couple of butterflies around her name, oh man she would be like putty in my hands. Nah Heat, all of these attacks, the interference has nothing to do with your life style, of me being jealous of your status in life, how much money you have because as we all know, I have as much or more than you do. I don’t care what cya drive, where you lay your head at night. I don’t care about anything you have or done except for one thing. There is one thing I want from ya. I one thing I want to beat from ya. I want to strip it away from ya because you don’t deserve it. You haven’t earned it and it’s a joke that you even have it, a joke that you were even nominated for it and it’s this Heat.”


Billy holds up four fingers.


“I am looking to knock you out of the Super 6 Heat. There’s two names on that list who don’t belong. You and Best Team Eva. It’s Acess Denied and when the show is over with, when Craig Williams defeats your buddy Evan Caravelle, they redraw the top 6 competitors in the UWL and I’m looking to get my name on that list and to do that, Someone has to go and that someone is you Heat. And when I beat your ass in a couple of days, the people when they cast their votes will have to drop my name on their ballots over you and when I finally get my name in the Super 6……”


Billy leans back in his chair, tips back on the rear chair legs and taps his fingers along the edge of the table.


“A shot at that Prestige championship will follow. When I pin you in middle of that ring and they announce my name of the winner I will remain undefeated in 2016 but more importantly I will have to my name in the month of January victories over 4 names in the Super 6 and that Heat, is why I deserve a shot at the Prestige championship and not you. This has nothing to do with who beat James Kelloggs or Ron Hamilton, but more to do with building a resume, a resume so convincing that you can’t argue against me being the Super 6 or denying me a shot at Ron Hamilton and his title. That is why I have been a thorn in your side Heat. Just HillBilly Sutton doing what I have been doing since I have been 16. Busting my hump, working my way up the ladder of success.”


Billy fluffs out his beard finally.


“You know. Nothing you have had to ever do. Earn something.”


Fade out with the place clearing out and Billy demanding a beer…………..






“Siri. Find me the best restaurant in Tokyo.”


Brief pause.


“Ok. Check it out.” Siri says.


“Siri. Call Kozue.”


Scene opens up inside the highly rated Kozue restaurant in Tokyo on the 40th floor of some high rise building. Sitting at a table with no alcohol whatsoever in front of him is HillBilly Sutton, but he’s dressed up today. Hair pulled back in a man bun! Dress shirt, suit jacket. Tie! His beard brushed, trimmed and braided. If you listen closely you can hear ZZ Top’s Sharp Dressed Man playing in the background because Billy is dressed to the nines! If he was a chick you could say he “cleans up rather nice.” But he’s not a chick, he’s a dude.


A server walks over and sets a salad down in front of Billy and looks at as if he has never seen a salad before. The server disappears and Billy picks up his salad fork.


“Mockery!” Billy begins with as he stabs a leaf of lettuce with his fork. “Is the most sincere form of flattery….or something like that. Perhaps!” Billy says as he raises one eyebrow. “I didn’t go to Harvard law. Perhaps! I didn’t go to Yale. Perhaps! Just perhaps, I am too frickin smart for those places. Who needs a piece of paper in a picture frame that says I hereby spent a ton of money and went to Duke and got this big fancy degree as a tax preparer….”


Billy shoves the lettuce in his mouth and chews on it for a second or two.


“I mean accountant. There is really no difference between the two job titles, just that under one job title you work at H and R block and make a couple of thousand a tax season and the other, you make a hundred grand a year. You know who in my family worked at H and R Block?”


Billy stabs a roma tomato with his salad fork.


“My mom and come April she would get a big old check for slaving away doing everyone else’s taxes and with that check she would take us kids down to Wal Marts and in middle of April months before we went “back to school”, we would do back to school shopping while still in school and those clothes would sit in their walmart bags in mom’s room till we went back to school the following year. Do you know how hard it was to stay ahead of the fashion scene growing up as a kid when you did your shopping like, 6 months before everyone else did? Not that Hickory North Carolina is the fashion hub of the world but you know it was the 90’s. So!”


Billy eats his tomato and follows that with a sip of water, with a wedge of lemon in it.


“As a kid I kept it simple. As my uncle Ned would say on the farm in summer. Billy, just remember this one thing fer your entire life. Keep it simple stupid. And so it was Wrangle jeans, Cat work boots, Knock off Nike shoes, pocket tees and flannel. Why? Because that look, that style if you will never goes out of style. Everyone I knew wore that. I was a poor backwoods kid and that is all you needed. No suits. No penny loafers. Sandals were for the guys who were funny and wore bright clothes and wore a sweater over their shoulders. They would get preppy haircuts, plastered the haircuts with “products” so it looked cool. They smelled of lilacs and baby wipes and they easily could be stuffed into their lockers. They were the type who didn’t hang out the sand pits, throwing pallets you stole from the Piggy Wiggle's in a pile and lighting them up and sipping on some hooch that someone snuck from their dad’s liquor cabinet. They were “above” that whatever that means.”


Another fork load of salad for Billy.


“There is much more to life than who you are wearing. I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth but look at me now. I reckon my checking account matches yours Heat or at least eclipse it. People love Shine, everywhere you go, they want my Shine. They want to buy it and drink it. Not because it’s a fad, not because it’s the vogue thing to do. They want it because it’s a simple down home drink. It’s nothing over complicated. Spin the top and sip it and before you know it you’re feeling just fine without a care in the world. It’s like a hug from your mom. It makes you get that warm fuzzy feeling in your belly when you rest you head between your first pair of tits and you’ll remember it like when your hand comes in contact for the first time with your girl’s big old bush. You never forget those feelings or how it made you so happy. Hell just thinking about those two events in my life brings a smile to my face.”


Billy drops the fork on the plate picks up his napkin and wipes the edge of his mouth.


“So go ahead Heat. Hang out at the western bars here in Tokyo. Dress down if you will. Let your hair out and live a little and go get your square dance on. Ain’t noone going to think any less of you if you do. Hell look at me. Today I decided I would try to live the Sunday Night Heat lifestyle and I have to tell you. I needed a nap after getting my hair just right, my arms hurt from brushing my beard out and I broke out the card and got me some new threads. Booked me a table by the window here in this highly rated place and I ordered the most expensive item on the menu. I’m living it up! I’m living a day in the life of Sunday Night Heat and I’ve got to tell you. My guts are killing me. I have been holding in this fart ever since I walked in. I mean it so wants to get out, the pressure is too much to bear. I can’t let it out, it wants to but I don’t dare too. I have been here almost a hour and I haven’t heard one fart yet! No wonder you are so damn uptight, you’re too worried about holding in your farts! Is that why you never smile? The fart holding business is too much for you? You know what? F*ck it.”


Billy leans to the side and lets it rip. It’s a real loud juicy one. Everyone in the place heard it and they all look at Billy stunned, appalled that he would even dare to release like that in public. Billy fans it away from him.


“Dear lord! GD that is awful. Somethings just aren’t meant to be kept locked in.”


A couple next to Billy actually get up and leave. You can see other people in the place cover their noses. Billy loosens his tie and slides out of his jacket.


“I can’t do it. I can’t be you no matter how hard I tried Heat and you know what? That is just fine by mean. But you know one thing that I can and will do?”


Billy lets his hair down and start to unbraid his beard.


“Beat ya this weekend. Pin ya one, two, three in middle of that ring and the reason why Ima gunna do this isn’t very complicated one. It has nothing to do with Haley and if we’re being honest here for a second. If I wanted to get with her which I wouldn’t because friends don’t bang their friend’s daughters, I could. I could bag and tag that in a heartbeat and I would get her name tattooed right here.”


Billy pulls back his sleeve to show his forearm.


“Couple of butterflies around her name, oh man she would be like putty in my hands. Nah Heat, all of these attacks, the interference has nothing to do with your life style, of me being jealous of your status in life, how much money you have because as we all know, I have as much or more than you do. I don’t care what cya drive, where you lay your head at night. I don’t care about anything you have or done except for one thing. There is one thing I want from ya. I one thing I want to beat from ya. I want to strip it away from ya because you don’t deserve it. You haven’t earned it and it’s a joke that you even have it, a joke that you were even nominated for it and it’s this Heat.”


Billy holds up four fingers.


“I am looking to knock you out of the Super 6 Heat. There’s two names on that list who don’t belong. You and Best Team Eva. It’s Acess Denied and when the show is over with, when Craig Williams defeats your buddy Evan Caravelle, they redraw the top 6 competitors in the UWL and I’m looking to get my name on that list and to do that, Someone has to go and that someone is you Heat. And when I beat your ass in a couple of days, the people when they cast their votes will have to drop my name on their ballots over you and when I finally get my name in the Super 6……”


Billy leans back in his chair, tips back on the rear chair legs and taps his fingers along the edge of the table.


“A shot at that Prestige championship will follow. When I pin you in middle of that ring and they announce my name of the winner I will remain undefeated in 2016 but more importantly I will have to my name in the month of January victories over 4 names in the Super 6 and that Heat, is why I deserve a shot at the Prestige championship and not you. This has nothing to do with who beat James Kelloggs or Ron Hamilton, but more to do with building a resume, a resume so convincing that you can’t argue against me being the Super 6 or denying me a shot at Ron Hamilton and his title. That is why I have been a thorn in your side Heat. Just HillBilly Sutton doing what I have been doing since I have been 16. Busting my hump, working my way up the ladder of success.”


Billy fluffs out his beard finally.


“You know. Nothing you have had to ever do. Earn something.”


Fade out with the place clearing out and Billy demanding a beer…………..