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Post by Steve Sinclair on Mar 7, 2017 22:36:04 GMT
Inside the Bad Ass Hotel in Vegas. The scene opens up inside of The Bad Ass One’s master suite where two scandalous dressed females who are lounging on his couch showing some skin. The Bad Ass One is buttoning up his slacks and sliding his suit jacket on and snugging up his green and black UWL tie.
“Yeah mother fuckers! That’s right! The Bad Ass one here! And I told you fuckers that when I’m in on the scene, shit changes like, me finally getting my shot at that DarcHorse championship! Yeah it’s like, a good fucking six to eight months in the works and the bitch that is currently holding my belt….”
James snaps his fingers.
“Yo, Bae, what’s that bitch's name? Oh yeah, now I remember. Crystal Millar. Such a sweet little stripper name whore.”
Cracks his knuckles.
“Now I know you’re thinking, how did this just happen? Why do I have to defend this belt against that guy? Well if you would just shut your whore mouth for one minute I’ll fucking tell you. I’m James Kelloggs. The Bad Ass and I am DarcPro. I’m from the UWL which you better fucking know by now is like, the big leagues and they only keep the best of the very best on the payroll and, what do you know, I never saw your name there meaning that, you’re just not that good. I’m a prize fighter. I places asses big and small in the seats, I make the people switch to catch my matches, I inspire millions to download my matches and I get more hits on Youtube than every NFLer in the offseason hitting their girlfriends around. I am the main draw in DarcPro. I am the uncrowned DarcHorse champion cuz that belt was mine last year, not my fault Victor is a complete moron and couldn’t run a Dairy Queen inside a retard center correctly. Hey! Crystal.”
Points at the camera.
“Is he your husband? Cuz that would explain so much. Listen up sweetcakes, in three weeks, DarcPro is going to have a real fucking champion. Rayven and you, are just two annoying bitches playing “champion” and sucking hard at it. I’m a natural born champion, this is what I do. Bend bitches in half, make them scream for more and make them submit to my will and collect all the gold along the way. Don’t stomp your feet and throw a hissy fit, you knew this day was coming. The Bad Ass one gets what the Bad Ass one wants and what I want is what is owed to me. The outcome is already predetermined and there isn’t a damn thing you can do to stop this from happening bitch. I’m walking out with that belt and you and the rest you mouthbreathers can watch in amazement as I expose you to be completely inept for this business. You’re in over your head there two o’clock beauty queen but in three short weeks, It’ll be all over with, you can kick your shoes off and head back on into the kitchen and I’ll be right where I damn well should be.”
Motions that he’ll have gold around his waist.
“The DarcHorse Champion.”
Fade out.
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Post by Steve Sinclair on Mar 12, 2017 15:52:18 GMT
Inside a man cave type of room that is decorated wall to wall with UWL stuff. Neon clocks, a bar with bar stools all done in a UWL theme. Two couches with the UWL logo stitched in them, end tables, lamps, coffee table, everything has a UWL logo on it. It’s pretty epic.
Sitting on the couch is team UWL, Kelloggs, Joe Jones both wearing UWL windbreaker type pants, UWL shirts. Joe is on his phone.
“Hello bitches to the UWL lounge! Only members of the UWL can hang out in this bitch so all you jealous fucks who wish you were talented enough to get signed by the UWL, this is has close as you’ll ever get to being in the greatness that is the UWL, the single, greatest wrestling company to ever grace the planet earth, or the fucking universe for that matter. Only the best of the best get to be apart of the League.” James Kelloggs says.
Joe ends his phone call. “We’ll talk later. Yeah.”
“Right Joe!”
“Hell yeah! You are looking at gods among men! You’re looking at the top of the food chain in pro wrestling! You are looking at the two faces who will keep DarcPro relevant in the dirt sheets and in the foreground of podcasts plastered all over podcastone! And…”
Joe motions towards James.
“We’re the guys who will keep Darcpro championship gold around our waists.” James adds.
“We’re the duo who will bring meaning to the two worthless championships in DarcPro and when the dust settles and that little Darc Duo tournaments ends…”
“We’re the two bad ass dudes who will save those belts and bring them some prestige.”
“Cuz whatever we do in DarcPro, attaching the UWL legacy to it will only enhance and add value to it. Case in point, the Darc Horse championship.”
“Without looking it up you bunch of lazy bitches, tell me just who in the bloody blue balls is the current Darc Horse champion?”
“Hmmmm yeah you can’t answer that question because even the person who holds the belt doesn’t know that they are the champion, that’s how invisible they are. That’s how inconsequential they are. The websites lists the champions, and both of them, are worthless. People don’t even know who they are.”
“Or that they even hold a championship in this joint, but listen up bitches!”
“All of that is about to change. Much how the clocks skipped ahead a hour last night, change is coming and you can thank Team UWL for that!”
“We’re rescuing that Darc Horse championship and we’re bring it to the forefront of Darc Pro, to the forefront of pro wrestling.”
“The baddest little motherfucker in all of wrestling.”
“And there is nothing little about me.”
“Besides your height.”
James shots Joe a dirty look.
“The Bad Ass one! The UWL Prestige….”
“The Prestigious Prestige Champion! Get it right bitch!”
“You’re right little man, the Prestigious Prestige Champion, Greatest of all time.”
“Fuck Billy Danielson.”
“Will soon kick Crystal Millar to the side, dropping her like I drop one on Antonio’s gorgeous brown sugar buns of steel to the side and within 3 seconds, the wrestling world will have forgotten who the former champion was.”
“Cuz you can’t not say Champion without mentioning the Bad Ass One!”
“Mr. Champion, The bringer of yummy sugary breakfast goodness, James motherfucking Kelloggs and for the record, he probably did your mom last night.”
“Your mom, your sister and your daughter all before midnight.”
“This little guy can go all night long cuz that’s how we do it in Knoxville! We go ALL NIGHT long and we never ever stop.”
“I’m sure you’re used to this by now but just so you know, Crystal, I always keep my pimp hand strong.”
“And he’s going to smack you around like a new box of honey smacks.”
“You’ll be seeing lucky charms by the end of the night.”
“And the last thing you’ll hear is Snap.”
“Crackle.”
“Pop.”
“Oh yeah bitch. The Bad Ass one, will end your reign in short order.”
“And that’s no short joke either.”
“You can’t beat Team UWL.”
“Nope. You can’t.”
“That belt is going to look damn fine around my waist.”
“Like it was made for you.”
“Cuz it was.”
“There you have it.”
“See you soon, bitch.”
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Post by Steve Sinclair on Mar 22, 2017 21:59:34 GMT
Inside the #TeamUWL gym in the Bad Ass Hotel, James Kelloggs is in middle of the ring rocking a brand new Team UWL robe. It’s very sparkly, black with green trim, has the Lion head logo on the back in rhinestones, it is truly a work of art. He is shadow boxing as the camera pans in.
“You knew that I was coming cause you heard my name.” Kelloggs says.
Joe is the background sitting on the top turnbuckle. “Hell yeah!” he says.
“But you don’t know my game and never felt my pain.”
“Y’all can’t read my brain, but I know you can read my lips.”
“And you bitches got scared when y’all heard that we were coming with this shit!”
“Now don’t even trip, be a man instead.”
“Just get on one knee and give thanks that you’re alive when you should be dead.”
“We’re dripping in green glory cause my mind's distortin'”
“Bitches claimin' that they know us, but they only know a portion.”
”We’re gunna move mountains and smash crystals.”
”Don't get scared now, you knew this day would come.”
”So hold your bids, all bets are closed.”
”And fuck all you hoes.”
“In case you haven’t figured it out yet Crystal, It’s time to check your watch.”
“It’s time to clock in cuz you’re late for work.”
“And once you arrive you’re going to get shitcanned.”
“You’re just one lazy bitch who’s going to get bitch slapped by the bringer of sugary breakfast goodness.”
“We will make you submit to the greatest promotion on the face of the planet. You will kiss our boots, give respect and hand over that title to where it belongs.”
“It's my birthright to hold that championship, Team UWL was born to do this.”
“Cause we’re going to stomp all over your title reign cuz we’re going Gold.”
“Understand?”
“I don’t think she does little man.”
“For the record, I’m four foot one with a ten foot dick.”
“He’s the devil without a cause, except when it comes to beating you and taking the Darc Horse championship.”
“I ain’t no kid, but I’ll rock your world.”
“With a paper bag covering your face.”
“Cuz that’s is all your good fer bitch. This whole time all you have been doing is keeping my title warm, making sure it’s not lonely at night cuz in a couple of days, I’ll be claiming what is rightfully mine, I just hope you haven’t been paiging that thing at night.”
“Oh you know she’s been prancing that thing all over the place, holding it up and saying Look at me! I’m important!”
“The only important thing you need to worry about come the 27th is just this, you just make sure you drag your bitch ass down to the ring, take the beating I’ma gonna give you like the good little hoe that you are and when I beat cya, and get my hand raised in victory, you swiftly remove yourself from MY ring!”
“From Team UWL’s ring…”
“It doesn’t matter what the colors are or what the nameplate on that belt reads, it’s all property of Team UWL!”
“And the quicker you dipshits accept this as the truth of Darc Pro Wrestling.”
“The quicker that we pick off Rayven and take that Darc Heavyweight championships.”
“See, we’re the true kings of Darc.”
“The real lords of the rings.”
“The masters of reality and we are just allowing all of you to live in it.”
“But there is rules to stay in our kingdom.”
“Failure to obey these rules.”
“And well….just watch and see what Team UWL does Crystal this weekend.”
“Cuz it’s not going to be pretty.”
“But nevertheless, it’s going to be one bad ass beat down!”
“You dig?”
Fade out.
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Post by Steve Sinclair on Mar 23, 2017 21:15:08 GMT
Stepping out of his hotel on the strip in Vegas being flanked by two Playboy bunnies is the Bad Ass James Kelloggs in a custom made suit just for him and he is rocking a Team UWL pocket square. They take a couple of steps out onto the sidewalk in front of his hotel. The ladies kneel down to his level and run their hands up his arms and across his shoulders and do what playboy bunnies do best. Make you feel like a million bucks or in this case, a billion bucks.
“Well well well, look who crawled out of her hole in the ground like that stupid groundhog in PA and she saw her shadow and didn’t like what she saw. The DarcHorse champion finally has addressed her oh so many fans in Darc Pro and has rest assured them that she will in fact show up on the 27th and take her ass beating like a real man. You know, once she rests up, gets her tan on, maybe get a brazilian and hopefully they take care of that mustache of yours while they are there working on you. I hope you have all of your short jokes out of your system bitch cuz when that bell rings, cuz in short order…..no pun intended, I’ll show you who in that ring is the real Main Event Talent.”
Joe Jones slowly strolls into the picture. He’s flanked by 2 cuban cuites studs who are both shirtless.
“About that sweetheart.” Joe says. “First you say that you’re the main event, you’re the featured attraction…”
“Then you turn around a couple of breaths later and say that that belt is your meal ticket to the big time.”
“Soooooooo? I thought you were the big time honey? Now you’re not? Interesting.”
Joe strolls on out of the picture.
“The Bad Ass One doesn’t care how many pornos you do in your off time and make no mistake about it, The Bad Ass One has watched every single one and the darndest thing happened! I didn’t get a hard on from any of them, not ONE! I had to hire some real women who can get me hot and bothered and I know that this most likely blows this fantasy of yours where I’m spoon feeding you my sugary sweet special breakfast shake that you chug right down but hey! I’ll still beat your ass none the less.”
“You see Crystal, unlike you, I am always ready! Ready to jump on my private jet and jet set to whoever has a chunk of gold for me to claim and this is something I have done many times. I don’t need to go on vacation and get rubbed down by a bald guy with hairy hands to recover from my active lifestyle. I’m up on it every night grinding away till the morning hours. I’m ready to go at a drop of a hat and I don’t give a fuck who is standing in my way, there is no excuses coming from my lips as to why I wasn’t ready. That bitch, is what a champion, a true champion is made of. Not some fakery, OH! I have to dye my hair, slap on some lipstick and now I’m ready to kick ass bullshit! I don’t know if you know this, but the last show that DarcPro put on was 3 fucking weeks ago and I’m going stir crazy! I’m ready to tear someone a new asshole and that someone is you Crystal!”
Joe strolls back into the picture, his tight fitting jeans are unbuttoned and one of his escorts looks extremely happy. Wonder what was going on, it is Vegas after all.
“You know, the UWL, we held weekly shows, that’s how elite we are, none of this once a month shit. Guess that’s why we work for the UWL and you’re some flunky who works in 19 different low grade promotions.”
“So just bring your public access ass to your home, the Cow Palace and hand me MY title bitch! Save yourself the embarrassment of getting soundly defeated by the Bad Ass One and Team UWL!”
“Don’t be late, you wouldn’t want to miss this for anything.”
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Post by Steve Sinclair on Mar 24, 2017 21:24:53 GMT
Inside of the Jame’s own private jet where the Double J's are enjoying the short flight from Vegas to San Fran in style.
“God damn Joe.” James says as he is holding a glass. “That yenta gets off of vacation and now she doesn’t shut the fuck up.”
“Just another high maintenance broad who has to hear herself talk non stop. And you wonder why I’m gay.” Says Joe.
“After this week, I don’t wonder that and that is why I like my bitches with a ball gag in their mouths. But did you notice something Joe?”
“Her hair has been like 3 different lengths in the past two days?”
“Besides that.” Adds James.
“That she’s just like some other people we know who don’t listen to us?”
James snaps his fingers. “That would be it.”
“The past what? 48 hours you can slowly see the light bulb above her head getting brighter and brighter.”
“Yup. It just dawned on that hoe that we have been knocking DarcPro all week long.”
“Way to catch on Crystal. Man can't get a single thing past you.” Adds Joe.
James takes a sip. “Bitch….We’re the League of Universal men.”
“The knuckle busting boys from Knoxville.”
“The keepers of green and black.”
“The lions that going to rip you apart.”
“We’re Team UWL! We bleed black and green! From day fucking one we have been carrying the banner for the UWL because quite frankly in every aspect, the UWL is superior when compared to DarcPro. From the talent, to the champions, to the shows themselves, when you watch the UWL, and then watch DarcPro, one show wins awards, is the standard bearer and the trend setter, the other, is just trying to follow in its footsteps and failing miserably at it.”
“Kind like you Crystal, a complete failure.”
“We’re here to take Darc Pro, pick up the scraps it has, and elevate it be on the same level as the UWL and with rethreads like you as it’s champions….”
“It’ll never happen.”
“All week long, or rather the last 2 days all you have been saying is the follow.”
Joe clears his throat. “You don’t respect me.”
“Nope.”
“I’ve needed rest.”
“Slacker.”
“You’re not on my level and then insert some lame ass short joke.”
“Bitch, ain’t no one on your level, it doesn’t even show up on the pie chart cuz I’m a mega super fucking star and your some cheesy opening band in a beat up Ford van from the mid 70’s.”
“I’m the Main Event.”
“But this belt is my meal ticket to the big time.”
“I’m in two matches this week!”
“And? Do you want a medal or a set of fucking tits to pin it on? No one gives a fuck that you’re double booked.”
“And that you’ll have to have rest after having two grueling matches.”
“Cry me a river. NO seriously! Just shut up about how you’re being booked. Top tier talent such as myself and Joe here, and everyone else who has ever had the honor of being employed by the UWL wouldn’t even break a sweat about being double booked.”
Joe glances over at James.
“You know why she’s double booked?”
“I don’t know why?”
“Cuz they didn’t know who she was and forgot that she already had a match. Hell I bet Miles still doesn’t realize it that, as she puts it, The queen has a double billing.”
“And that’s another thing bitch. You and every other fucking bitch who gets in the ring all say the same shit. I’m the queen of this and that! I’m the queen bitch! Enough already! You ain’t the queen of jack shit.”
“You could pass as a dragqueen though.”
“And that’s about all you’ve got sweetheart. In a hour we’re touching down in San Fran and from then on, you’re on the clock, the hours, minutes and seconds are ticking away till I TAKE that Darchorse championship from you.”
“And stop making up meanings for what that title is. Until someone claims that Darc Jr Pro belt, the DarcHorse belt is the entry level championship.”
“So congrats on that, being the doormat of DarcPro.”
“But then again, I’m pretty sure you’re used to be everyone’s welcome mat.”
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Post by Steve Sinclair on Mar 25, 2017 17:43:30 GMT
SF international airport. Team UWL is stepping down out of the Bad Ass jet and is immediately swarmed by the press and they fire off questions in rapid fire session as a few fans have also found their way out on the air strip and are pushing their way towards the front to get a few autographs, The Bad Ass One holds his hand up as Joe with a sharpie is scribbling his name on some 8x10’s and what not.
“Fear not members of the media! Team UWL is back in lovely San Fran and in a couple of days, we will bring home that Darc Horse Championship where it belongs, under the umbrella of the greatest wrestling promotion in all of the land.”
Joe smirks. “The UWL! And unlike our opponent Sunday night in the Cow Palace….”
“A joint that a upstanding company such as the UWL would never book.”
“We don’t have to drag our kids, if we had any, in front of the camera and get them to cut a promo on our behalf.”
“And you call yourself the queen of Darc! Since when is it okay to drag your snaggletooth kid out of school and have them do your dirty work?”
“There is no doubt that kid is hers. She has the same overbite as her mother.”
“Who must have been a dirty whore at the ripe age of 15. Where’s the father for that kid Crystal?”
“Most likely in the pedophile wing of some state institution.”
“You know Joe, she didn’t mention anything about taking her kid on that vacation of hers.”
“I betcha she’s one of the chicks who only the mother of some brat when it’s convenient for her. She’s just using her kid to tug on the heartstrings of the fans of Darcpro! OH! Look at me! I’m being picked on by some meanies! I’m a single mother! How dare they! They are so mean!” Joe says mockingly.
“Listen here bicycle Sally, you can carry that banner for DarcPro all you want! You can hoist my title above your head all you want and say that there is no way I’m getting that belt but the truth is…”
“The undeniable truth.”
“Whatever Team UWL, The Double J’s, the knuckle busting boys from Knoxville want!”
“The apex predators of pro wrestling get!”
“We want that DarcHorse championship! It was mine last year! It was in my fucking hands but then that moron….”
“I bet she’s the father to Crystal’s acne riddled kid!” Joe says
“Victor Laredo shuttered down the DarcPro you hold so near and dear to your heart and there I was standing, without my DarcHorse championship!”
“And Crystal….if the company at the time wasn’t ran by one of your one night stands superstars, The Bad Ass One here…”
“Would be the longest reigning DarcHorse champion and not your self centered whore ass!”
“I mean, come on! You held that belt for 66 days, 60 of them DarcPro wrestling didn’t even hold a show for you to defend that belt at.”
“That bitch just makes you a paper champion. You’re one of those ditsy bitches who buy a Porsche and never drive it because you can’t drive stick and you don’t want to ruin the trade in value of it.”
“Just as long as it looks pretty.”
“In two days time, I’m beating your ass in middle of that ring, bring your kid, I’ll beat her ass too so you two can have a bonding experience of getting slammed by the Bad Ass One! It has been a long time coming of me getting what is OWED to me by this second rate company! I’ve been telling you I’m the uncrowned DarcHorse champion because that is the facts when it comes to that title! I won it! It’s fucking mine! GIVE ME WHAT I ALREADY WON!”
Joe kneels and puts his arm around James.
“Settle down little guy. Don’t get yourself all worked up. Sunday night we will right this wrong.”
“You know Joe, the UWL would never screw me over like this.”
“Nope. Never. The most honest company ever.”
“Crystal, I’m done getting screwed by this shit filled company. I will be taking my belt and there is nothing you can do about it!”
“It’s coming to Team UWL…”
“One way…”
“Or another.”
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Post by Steve Sinclair on Mar 25, 2017 23:45:54 GMT
The Quince in San Fran, the place for upscale French-Italian cuisine and that is where you will find #TeamUWL!
“Oh Joey, did you hear? She just doesn’t get it.”
Swishing his wine glass. “It’s above her head apparently and it only proved that she did in fact ride the short bus. I’m sure it was a nice shade of blue.”
“It might even had a bunny on it by the door so she would remember that it was her ride for the day.”
“Oh you know it did.”
“Am I the bad guy here? Did I go over the line? Because if I did then allow me to take the time to say…..”
“Hold on. I’ve got this.” Joe says. He looks at the camera. “Crystal, with all due respect and that’s much to begin with. It was you who dragged your kid in front of the camera and allowed her, encouraged her to cut a promo on the Bad Ass One. At that point, she was fair game. If you didn’t like what we said about her, then you should have never pushed her in front of the camera. That’s how it works. You don’t want your kid busted on in a promo, keep em off camera. And another thing. We were talking about your overbite.”
“While we’re on the subject, I, unlike you, don’t need to spend my day refreshing my screen on twitter. When I get on twitter, I really don’t care what you little people have to say. If you have the need to tweet about me while you’re on the John take a dump and posting 250 selfies about it, then by all needs, tweet away bitch. I don’t care.”
“It only shows how thin skinned you are for bring that up. He never responds to me on twitter!”
“Fuck….didn’t know we were a couple already.”
“Like, where’s the shotgun to end this nightmare already.”
“No shit.”
“I’m gay and you drive me to want to kill myself. I swear to god, if I had to wake up next to that every morning, one of us is going die.”
“You know what this means right?”
“You better spell it out for her cuz clearly she hasn’t gotten it.”
James smirks and takes a sip from his wine glass. He sets it down and looks with a smug look in the camera.
“Crystal. You appear to be bright but I’m starting to think you’re just a special kind of bright. Joe here has been in every single of my promos because, one. He’s my buddy. Two. We’re team mates. He’s one half of Team UWL. Three…...Team UWL is going to win that DarcHorse championship. Do you get it now?”
“Alex, what is confused look for 1000?”
“TEAM…...UWL…...IS GOING…..TO…..WALK…..OUT….WITH…..THAT…..BELT…...OF…...MINE.”
“What is a handicapped match?”
“We did say one way or another did we not? This whole time, you’ve been thinking that this match is between you and I? Like you can’t be that dense right? We’re only here to take…..take…..all of the championship belts.”
“Hey do you know that slut Candy Overtone is no longer your partner for the Darc Dous belts?”
“She’s not? Well who is?”
“Only the sexiest, greatest wrestling icon in all of Darc Pro.”
“Would that be you!” James says with a bit of wise ass in his voice.
“BINGO!”
“Man! That’s one hell of a lucky draw huh?”
“I know. The only team in DarcPro, just happened to be randomly paired for the tournament.”
“Is it starting to make sense yet? We’re pair up for the Duos titles, You’re facing Team UWL for what should have been my belt all along.”
“Oh and Crystal, I don’t have a match so….I’ll be nice and fresh, well rested.”
“You can stand there and say all the shit in the world, how you don’t like us, how you’re keeping your title, spin it however you want, explain your run as the DarcHorse however you want, tells us again what it means to you. Tomorrow night, it comes to an end. Tomorrow night, you will no longer be the DarcHorse champion. Got it?”
“Don’t worry, we’ll give you a lollipop after words.”
“Bitch.”
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