|
|
Post by Steve Sinclair on May 8, 2017 22:26:53 GMT
Due to contractual reasons, The following promo is brought to you by:  Enjoy The UWL banner is highlighted by some super bright lights making it the focal point until one Double J Joe Jones walks in front of the camera with a shit eating grin on his face. The camera pulls back some to reveal that Joe is wearing some meggings, UWL brand of course, a pinkish Joe Jones tee and his big fluffy fake fur coat, and by the looks of it, it’s wolf fur. “Ladies and Gentlemen. Boys and Girls. Pre and Post Op Transgenders. It is time for you stop checking the DarcPro Youtube channel and this is the one alert you all have been waiting for! I know it has taken a few days but the wait is over with! The one who you all have been waiting for is here to tell the rest of the….”Joe lets out a little chuckle. “Competition in this San Fran Scuffle match for the DarcDous Championships, that this match is in fact over with. The King of Tag Team Wrestling! God’s gift to wrestling among other things, has arrived!” Joe declares. “The single, greatest! Sexiest! And if I say so, the most charismatic superstar with a penis or a vagina for that matter in tag team history has arrived with a simple message to my so called opponents and that message is that all of you have waited for me to let those words slip through my lips is this….”Joe wets his lips. “Standing right here is the winner of the San Fran Scuffle match. Now I know some of you will sneer and say some snide remarks but the truth of the matter is that this the unbridled truth when it comes to tag team matches and tag team belts. When I enter these sort of matches the end results are the same time and time over. I win these matches. I walk out with the belts. I ruin your dreams. I shatter your hopes and I spit on your desires because boys, that is how I roll. Now!”Joe says as he cocks his head to the side. “When this little tournament was announced we…..Team UWL, the Knuckle Busting Boys from Knoxville, the Universal Gentlemen, we told you all that the line for those belts begin, behind me and now don’t be getting any funny ideas when you’re behind me, I only grant access to the greatest thrill ride in the world to a select few and none of you schelps in DarcPro…..none of you meet my requirements to get in my bouncey house. Don’t hate the player, hate the game.”Joe says with a finger wag. “From this point on all of you better get used to the idea of carrying on the rest of your DarcPro career with never holding those DarcDous belts and that is just how it’s going to be. Now I heard a few of you talk big, talk a bunch of shit, dragging your knuckles along the concrete floor stroking your ego to make yourself feel better and as far as I’m concerned, all of that is just for show. It’s meaningless, worthless much like the value you bring to DarcPro. It’s all hot air straight up Miles Blake tight ass hole, a place I feel way too many of you would love to crawl up in and call home and if you’re into overweight old geezers than by all means, crack that crack wide open and dive into it head first.”Joe gets a chill up his spin just thinking about the visual of that. “While all of you are busy kissing his hairy sagging old man ass cheeks, The Bad Ass One and I, we’re going to do when we were bred to do and that is claim what is our, what is our birthright and drape those belts down the most beautiful chest in pro wrestling today.”Enter Roxie in a nearly sheer bra and panties. She cuddles up with Joe. “And those belts are going to look fucking fine on you babe.”“Awe!”They kiss. Fade out. |
|
|
|
Post by Steve Sinclair on May 12, 2017 16:13:10 GMT
The following promo is brought to you by the award winning tag team: Viewer discretion is advised Scene opens up to reveal Joe Jones and James Kelloggs sitting in a trendy restaurant. “Looks like you have a secret admire. I wasn’t aware that you were switching teams.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”“I swiped your phone, I saw all of those tweets between you and Dexter. What a cute little….couple you two would make. So precious we should take a picture.”“I swear to god…”“So when did this romance begin?” Joe says as he picks up his wine glass and holds it with both hands in front of him waiting on the juicy details. “Listen here Joe!”“If you’re cheating on me I will be heartbroken. I don’t know how I could go on if you broke my big heart with a little….side action. Is he your side bitch?”James tosses his fork and glares at Joe. “You just have to go there don’t ya?”Joe smirks and slowly takes a sip of his red wine. “I’ll fucking show you what I think about this Dexter fuck.”“Really?” Joe says with a eyebrow raised. “YEAH! Fuck that guy!” James says as he slides out of his chair and storms off. “You first little buddy.” Joe says just loud enough for James to hear him. “YOU KNOW! Jesus…” James mumbles to himself. Joe chuckles to himself. “He is way too easy to get all fired up like this and I just can’t help myself. I shouldn’t but…” Shrugs. “It’s just too damn easy. You know what else is just too damn easy? Actually it’s not easy, it’s hard to watch and that is all of these pussies who all think they have a shot at the DarcDous belts, like Severed Steel. I see the flirting you’re sending out on Twitter. I see how you are slowly getting the little man wrapped around your fingers with praises and words of encouragement. For a guy who is all business like he is, he is very easily swayed with some kind words. I think his mother abused him as a child hence why whenever someone says something nice to him, he isn’t all Fuck you and stuff. But let’s be real Dexter. Let’s be 100% honest. You don’t like him, he comes off quite abrasive and there is no way someone like you is drawn to that.”Joe takes a sip of his wine. “Then again that is why I like the little bastard. I’ve never been with a midget. I’ve seen him naked, he looks like it would be fun to toss him around for a couple of hours.”Joe winks and takes a sip of wine and sets the glass down.
“Little known fact, I’m a closet chubby chaser and my, Dexter. For a guy of your girth, you keep yourself in good shape, with the spikey hair, five o’clock shadow, it makes me curious as to what is in your tool shed. Perhaps we can venture down that avenue after the Universal Gentlemen walk out of E6 with the DarcDous belts. Unlike you, we won’t ask for your forgiveness. I do hope I hurt your feelings when we eliminate you last. I'm here to win those belts. I’m here to rub the fact that I am the King of Tag Team Action in your face, I want to smear it in each and every single one of your faces. Jimmy James and I, we are the single greatest tag team to ever cum together in the world. We are one him and I. We are joined at the hip and when it comes right down to it.”Joe wipes the corner of his mouth with a napkin and pushes himself away from the table. “Nothing will stop us from taking the belts. No one will stop us from taking those belts. This match that Miles has put together is nothing more than a horse and pony show to show off the stock before it’s turned into glue.”Joe stands up.
“And that includes you two.” |
|
