Post by Steve Sinclair on Dec 24, 2013 21:17:21 GMT
Jan 10 2007
The toaster pops and two fresh pieces of toast are ready, toasted to a golden brown. Joe picks up the two pieces and quickly moves them to a plate on the counter. Joe juggles the two pieces of toast so they don’t burn his fingers. They lay on the plate, side by side where they cool for a second. Joe walks to the fridge and reaches in and removes the tub of butter, Parkay butter. Joe walks back to the counter and sets the tub of butter down on the counter. Joe then pulls a drawer out and pulls out a butter knife. Joe sets the knife down on the edge of the plate and goes to open the tub of butter. Joe starts to open it when he stops and smiles. He looks up and sitting at the kitchen table is Barry Burton.
JJ “Barry do you really want to know what I think about this one night tournament?”
BB “Well I have only been trying to get that answer out of you for a hour now.”
JJ “Well Barry This is what I think of the tournament. The tournament is…”
Joe then uses the lid of the tub of butter to his speaking, like in the commercials.
JJ “Parkay.” but it sounds more like “hmmm..Okay.”
BB “What-what are you doing?”
JJ “You haven’t meet Mr. Butter?”
BB “……no…..?”
JJ “He is my PR person. You will have to direct all of your question to Mr. Butter. What to know how I feel about Craig Williams?”
BB “…….okay….”
Mr. Butter “He’s hmmm….okay.”
BB “Are you okay Joe?”
JJ “I’m done talking to you. You will now to Mr. Butter!”
Joe pick sup the tub of butter and walks over to the table and sets it down on the table, Joe then gets down on the knees and hides himself behind the table and uses his hands to manipulates the lid as if it was speaking to Barry.”
BB “You’re kidding right?”
Mr. Butter “Oh come on Barry, We’re best buddies. I know you have been seeing my cousin.”
BB “Your cousin?”
Mr. Butter “Yeah, He’s Native American.”
BB “Native American?”
Mr. Butter “Land of Lakes. He called me on the celly and told me you like a bit of butter with your grits.”
BB “Joe come on man!”
Mr. Butter “Joe isn’t here. It’s just you and me buddy. Uhmmm….is that okay? You alright with me? What’s the matter, don’t feel comfortable talking to me? Mr. Butter. Hey I don’t say anything when you caress my wife.”
BB “Your wife?”
Mr. Butter “Yeah perhaps you have heard her, she’s famous, a model. Mrs. Butterworth? Yeah I hit that every night Barry.”
BB “Can I have what you’re drinking Joe?”
Mr. Butter “Hey Barry, Joe isn’t here man.”
BB “But…”
Mr. Butter “No Man, Joe isn’t here.”
BB “I….”
Mr. Butter “No Man, Joe isn’t here.”
BB “Okay.”
Mr. Butter “No it’s Parkay.”
BB “Parkay….”
Mr. Butter “is that okay?”
BB “Is what okay?”
Mr. Butter “ay?”
BB “…………..”
Mr. Butter “………….”
BB “………….”
Mr. Butter “Boy talk about a tough crowd. Barry I am prepared to read a prepared statement from Double J Joe Jones okay?”
BB “…okay?”
Mr. Butter “No that’s Parkay. I can not believe it’s butter, and thank god I’m smooth and creamy because all the nonsense said this week just slides off my back. There is just one scenario that would be better than butter and that would be if I was made of rubber, Than I can stand here and say “I’m Rubber and you’re glue, what ever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you! Of course you could than say, Stick and bones may break my bones but words will never hurt me, to which I will say, Ah, but your knee cap being twisted in my figure four will no doubt leave yo in pain.
While I couldn’t be here today, I, Mr. Butter is proud to say that the BLPW Untied States champion, the man who bonds the country together as it’s champion is busy at work on the eve of Epic, where he will step in the ring and do battle against some of the best the BLPW has to offer, and some guys the BLPW were also lucky enough to find laying under a rock doing nothing but wasting polluting the ozone with Carbon dioxide and somehow they found Lobo too. I can say that Mr. Joe Jones is busy at work, training hard, watching tapes and laying out his game plan in his quest to become the number one contender to the BLPW World championship. It is a game plan forged in steel, founded in rock and executed in blood.
To the follow competitors in this tournament, I wish you nothing but luck……in what you do after I win and I’m crowed the number one contender to the BLPW Championship. I will not forget everything you did for me, which will be basically job your way out of the tournament and all of you hard work will be for not for as soon as I capture the BLPW World title, you guys and fight over the US title because such a title will be fitting for you. That is of course your name is Lobo, than such a title is so far beyond your reach it’s almost down right funny.
In closing, take note that Double J Joe Jones is more than ready to seize this opportunity by the balls and nothing and no one will stand in his way. In case you simpletons can’t figure out what I’m saying, Consider yourself warned.”
Barry sits at the table staring at the tub of butter as Joe stands up and walks away chuckling to himself.
FTB………………………………..
The toaster pops and two fresh pieces of toast are ready, toasted to a golden brown. Joe picks up the two pieces and quickly moves them to a plate on the counter. Joe juggles the two pieces of toast so they don’t burn his fingers. They lay on the plate, side by side where they cool for a second. Joe walks to the fridge and reaches in and removes the tub of butter, Parkay butter. Joe walks back to the counter and sets the tub of butter down on the counter. Joe then pulls a drawer out and pulls out a butter knife. Joe sets the knife down on the edge of the plate and goes to open the tub of butter. Joe starts to open it when he stops and smiles. He looks up and sitting at the kitchen table is Barry Burton.
JJ “Barry do you really want to know what I think about this one night tournament?”
BB “Well I have only been trying to get that answer out of you for a hour now.”
JJ “Well Barry This is what I think of the tournament. The tournament is…”
Joe then uses the lid of the tub of butter to his speaking, like in the commercials.
JJ “Parkay.” but it sounds more like “hmmm..Okay.”
BB “What-what are you doing?”
JJ “You haven’t meet Mr. Butter?”
BB “……no…..?”
JJ “He is my PR person. You will have to direct all of your question to Mr. Butter. What to know how I feel about Craig Williams?”
BB “…….okay….”
Mr. Butter “He’s hmmm….okay.”
BB “Are you okay Joe?”
JJ “I’m done talking to you. You will now to Mr. Butter!”
Joe pick sup the tub of butter and walks over to the table and sets it down on the table, Joe then gets down on the knees and hides himself behind the table and uses his hands to manipulates the lid as if it was speaking to Barry.”
BB “You’re kidding right?”
Mr. Butter “Oh come on Barry, We’re best buddies. I know you have been seeing my cousin.”
BB “Your cousin?”
Mr. Butter “Yeah, He’s Native American.”
BB “Native American?”
Mr. Butter “Land of Lakes. He called me on the celly and told me you like a bit of butter with your grits.”
BB “Joe come on man!”
Mr. Butter “Joe isn’t here. It’s just you and me buddy. Uhmmm….is that okay? You alright with me? What’s the matter, don’t feel comfortable talking to me? Mr. Butter. Hey I don’t say anything when you caress my wife.”
BB “Your wife?”
Mr. Butter “Yeah perhaps you have heard her, she’s famous, a model. Mrs. Butterworth? Yeah I hit that every night Barry.”
BB “Can I have what you’re drinking Joe?”
Mr. Butter “Hey Barry, Joe isn’t here man.”
BB “But…”
Mr. Butter “No Man, Joe isn’t here.”
BB “I….”
Mr. Butter “No Man, Joe isn’t here.”
BB “Okay.”
Mr. Butter “No it’s Parkay.”
BB “Parkay….”
Mr. Butter “is that okay?”
BB “Is what okay?”
Mr. Butter “ay?”
BB “…………..”
Mr. Butter “………….”
BB “………….”
Mr. Butter “Boy talk about a tough crowd. Barry I am prepared to read a prepared statement from Double J Joe Jones okay?”
BB “…okay?”
Mr. Butter “No that’s Parkay. I can not believe it’s butter, and thank god I’m smooth and creamy because all the nonsense said this week just slides off my back. There is just one scenario that would be better than butter and that would be if I was made of rubber, Than I can stand here and say “I’m Rubber and you’re glue, what ever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you! Of course you could than say, Stick and bones may break my bones but words will never hurt me, to which I will say, Ah, but your knee cap being twisted in my figure four will no doubt leave yo in pain.
While I couldn’t be here today, I, Mr. Butter is proud to say that the BLPW Untied States champion, the man who bonds the country together as it’s champion is busy at work on the eve of Epic, where he will step in the ring and do battle against some of the best the BLPW has to offer, and some guys the BLPW were also lucky enough to find laying under a rock doing nothing but wasting polluting the ozone with Carbon dioxide and somehow they found Lobo too. I can say that Mr. Joe Jones is busy at work, training hard, watching tapes and laying out his game plan in his quest to become the number one contender to the BLPW World championship. It is a game plan forged in steel, founded in rock and executed in blood.
To the follow competitors in this tournament, I wish you nothing but luck……in what you do after I win and I’m crowed the number one contender to the BLPW Championship. I will not forget everything you did for me, which will be basically job your way out of the tournament and all of you hard work will be for not for as soon as I capture the BLPW World title, you guys and fight over the US title because such a title will be fitting for you. That is of course your name is Lobo, than such a title is so far beyond your reach it’s almost down right funny.
In closing, take note that Double J Joe Jones is more than ready to seize this opportunity by the balls and nothing and no one will stand in his way. In case you simpletons can’t figure out what I’m saying, Consider yourself warned.”
Barry sits at the table staring at the tub of butter as Joe stands up and walks away chuckling to himself.
FTB………………………………..