Post by Steve Sinclair on Jan 25, 2019 0:31:57 GMT
The scene opens up with Castle Grayskull taking up the whole picture, and not some modern widescreen shit either. Old standard screen stuff. Deal with it!
The plastic toy is in its glory, looking awesome! The drawbridge is up and sealed up tight so Skeletor can’t get in. We then pan to the left and what do we see? Why Snake mountain! With Skeletor standing in front of it. He’s looking at Castle Grayskull with his staff in his hand, and Skeletor is mint! A 1984 model, fucking mint!
Skeletor (Who sound like Bester) “Haha! Haha! Yes He Man! Now you can’t escape! I have you right where I want you! Ripe for the picking! HAHA! HAHA!”
Charging in on Battle cat is He Man! With his mighty sword in his hand and he too, looks mint!
Skeletor “Soon! Castle Grayskull will be mine! And with it! All of Eternia!”
He Man “Thank again Skeletor! As long as I’m around! You’ll never get your boney hands on Castle Grayskull!” He Man says, again, sounding like Bester.
Skeletor “That’s what you think He Man! Beast Man! Get him!”
Beast Man! “Grwal! Snarl! Okay Skeletor! I’ll get He Man this time!”
Beast Man, who looks mint as well, starts sliding his way across the table towards He Man. He Man is like, capatoled from the back of Battle Cat and drop kicks Beast Man clear into the middle of next week.
He Man “Nice try flea bag!”
Skeletor “WHAT? Beast Man who big hairy boob! You have disappointed me again! No matter. Trap Jaw! Get me He Man! Get me Castle Grayskull!”
TrapJaw slides into the picture, and he has all of his little bits that vanished ten seconds after you opened the package.
Trap Jaw “Okay Skeletor! I won’t let you down!”
Skeletor “I’ve heard that before you pile of rusted scrap metal!”
He Man “Is this the best you’ve got Skeletor? It’s good a thing I brought a couple of my friends.”
Right on cue, a yellow punch bug comes drifting into the scene. It’s does a circle around He Man, and does a figure eight around He Man and Trap Jaw.
Trap Jaw “What? What? What is this?”
Skeletor “You have got to be kidding me?”
Bumble Bee! He sideswipes Trap Jaw…….
3 minutes later…….
Bumblebee transform into the bad ass robot he was always meant to be.
Bumble Bee “Don’t worry He Man! I made short work of that metal mouth!”
Skeletor “He Man! You idiot! We never agreed to calling the Transformer! This isn’t fair!”
“Perhaps you should step aside and let the Ancient Spirits of Evil take over bone head!”
Skeletor spins around and slowly sliding out from around Snake Mountain is Mumm-Ra, the ever living!
Skeletor “And just who are you? You! 70 pounds of bone and toilet paper!”
Mumma-RA “I am the Ever living! I am!”
“THUNDER!”
Skeletor spins around, picture him with a shocked face.
“THUNDER!”
Skeletor “WHAT THE?”
“THUNDERCATS! HOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”
Flying in from outer space is Lion-o! With the eye of Thundera firmly in his plastic little hand!
Skeletor “Who invited you! Now you have gone just too far He Man!”
Lion-O “Time to send you packing Mumm-ra!”
Lion-O stands in front of He Man ready for a fight. BumbleBee transformed back too. Mostly because he wouldn’t stand.
Mumm-Ra “Ancient spirits….”
BEW! BEW BEW!
He Man “LOOK OUT!”
Starscream comes flying in, blasting everything in sight. A missle explodes (just pretend that it did) right in front of Lion-O and Bumble Bee taking both of them out. He Man ran away and just escaped certain death.
Starscream “HAHA! How do you like that Lion-O!”
Skeletor “Now that's what I’m talking about!”
“Activate Interlock!”
Skeletor “Interwhat?”
“Dynotherms connected!”
Skeletor “What are you talking about?”
“Infracells up!”
Skeletor “Where is my cell phone! I need to get that Witch Haggar here and get me a DAMN ROBOBEAST!”
“MEGA THRUSTERS ARE A GO! LET’S GO VOLTRON FORCE!!”
Skeletor “Hello?” (Picture Skeletor on a phone) “Prince Lotor? Yes, this is Skeletor! Listen, That tin can of kittens is here and it is RUINING ALL OF MY PLANS TO RULE ENTERINA! Yes? Okay? Well I guess.”
Voltron swooshes in over Castle Grayskull and with it’s blazing sword, swats Starscream out of the sky!
He Man “Thanks Voltron! I owe you one!”
Keith “No problem He Man! We were in the neighborhood and we though AHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”
Voltron then thumbles out of the sky and crashes and burns on the table top.
Skeletor “Hold on Lotor. Something just happened.”
Standing in the mouth of Snake mountain is Cobra Commander and he is holding, again, use your imagination, Megatron and he blasted Voltron down out of the skies when he transformed into the gun.
Cobra Commander “If you’re going to call Snake Mountain home, you should at least be a COOOBRRRAAAAAAA!!!!!”
Skeletor “Lotor. What do you have something for snakes? Seems like I’ve been infested.”
He Man “Time to give up Skeletor!”
Skeletor spins around
Skeletor “And why would I do that He Man?”
He Man “Because I have the worlds first superhero.”
Cobra Commander “And justsssss who would THAT be?”
He Man “I tried to warm you!”
Skeletor “World’s first Superhero?”
“CAPTAIN! CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMAN!”
Skeletor “WHAT?”
A plush Captain Caveman toy is tossed in middle of the table. While it might not be a old toy, who doesn’t love Captain Caveman?
Cobra Commander “COBRA! RETREAT!”
Skeletor “Blast you He Man! You win this time! But I’ll get you next time!”
He Man “HAHA! HAHA! HAHA! You can try Skeletor but I’ll be waiting!”
Captain Caveman “oogie boogie He Man.”
He Man, Lion-O, Voltron, BumbleBee, they all laugh……..
Bester then slowly stands up from behind the table. He is a sporting a big grin on his face. He flew home after the match for Throwback was announced and dug in the attic and pulled out all of his toys from his childhood and set some of them on the table.
His smile though, slowly fades.
“These toys brought me much joy when I was younger Miss Hernandez. All of my Uncles that came to visit my Mom from time to time would bring me a present as long as I stayed in my room and didn’t come out no matter what I heard while my mom and my uncle wrestled in the living room. I got myself quite the collection as you see here.”
Bester stands up straight.
“When I heard that our match is a Toy Chest of horrors match. I thought of my collection and that made me wonder what fun things will be in the toy box? What wonderful objects there will be in the box that I will be able to play with. I can’t wait! It reminds me of this one movie I watched with Mister Jones and Mister Nanook. It was called Seven and had mister Pitt in it. The end of the movie, there was only question. One you will be asking come Throwback! One you too will repeat several times as I pick up the Toy Chest and slowly open the lid, while I carefully pick my new toy to add to my collection, to…”
Bester smirks.
“Share with you Miss Hernandez, and use to explain to you why you were the reason why I lost at Death March. Perhaps, At Throwback, I will live up to the name Craze, the championship that you wish to take away from me, the belt that Mister Jones is holding right now because, when I reach inside that toy chest and pull out my new favorite toy. You’ll be asking just one question.”
Bester cracks his knuckles.
“What’s in the box?”
Bester is no longer smirking.
“I do hope you can come over for our play date. I would hate to not show you what’s in the box.”
Fade out.
The plastic toy is in its glory, looking awesome! The drawbridge is up and sealed up tight so Skeletor can’t get in. We then pan to the left and what do we see? Why Snake mountain! With Skeletor standing in front of it. He’s looking at Castle Grayskull with his staff in his hand, and Skeletor is mint! A 1984 model, fucking mint!
Skeletor (Who sound like Bester) “Haha! Haha! Yes He Man! Now you can’t escape! I have you right where I want you! Ripe for the picking! HAHA! HAHA!”
Charging in on Battle cat is He Man! With his mighty sword in his hand and he too, looks mint!
Skeletor “Soon! Castle Grayskull will be mine! And with it! All of Eternia!”
He Man “Thank again Skeletor! As long as I’m around! You’ll never get your boney hands on Castle Grayskull!” He Man says, again, sounding like Bester.
Skeletor “That’s what you think He Man! Beast Man! Get him!”
Beast Man! “Grwal! Snarl! Okay Skeletor! I’ll get He Man this time!”
Beast Man, who looks mint as well, starts sliding his way across the table towards He Man. He Man is like, capatoled from the back of Battle Cat and drop kicks Beast Man clear into the middle of next week.
He Man “Nice try flea bag!”
Skeletor “WHAT? Beast Man who big hairy boob! You have disappointed me again! No matter. Trap Jaw! Get me He Man! Get me Castle Grayskull!”
TrapJaw slides into the picture, and he has all of his little bits that vanished ten seconds after you opened the package.
Trap Jaw “Okay Skeletor! I won’t let you down!”
Skeletor “I’ve heard that before you pile of rusted scrap metal!”
He Man “Is this the best you’ve got Skeletor? It’s good a thing I brought a couple of my friends.”
Right on cue, a yellow punch bug comes drifting into the scene. It’s does a circle around He Man, and does a figure eight around He Man and Trap Jaw.
Trap Jaw “What? What? What is this?”
Skeletor “You have got to be kidding me?”
Bumble Bee! He sideswipes Trap Jaw…….
3 minutes later…….
Bumblebee transform into the bad ass robot he was always meant to be.
Bumble Bee “Don’t worry He Man! I made short work of that metal mouth!”
Skeletor “He Man! You idiot! We never agreed to calling the Transformer! This isn’t fair!”
“Perhaps you should step aside and let the Ancient Spirits of Evil take over bone head!”
Skeletor spins around and slowly sliding out from around Snake Mountain is Mumm-Ra, the ever living!
Skeletor “And just who are you? You! 70 pounds of bone and toilet paper!”
Mumma-RA “I am the Ever living! I am!”
“THUNDER!”
Skeletor spins around, picture him with a shocked face.
“THUNDER!”
Skeletor “WHAT THE?”
“THUNDERCATS! HOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”
Flying in from outer space is Lion-o! With the eye of Thundera firmly in his plastic little hand!
Skeletor “Who invited you! Now you have gone just too far He Man!”
Lion-O “Time to send you packing Mumm-ra!”
Lion-O stands in front of He Man ready for a fight. BumbleBee transformed back too. Mostly because he wouldn’t stand.
Mumm-Ra “Ancient spirits….”
BEW! BEW BEW!
He Man “LOOK OUT!”
Starscream comes flying in, blasting everything in sight. A missle explodes (just pretend that it did) right in front of Lion-O and Bumble Bee taking both of them out. He Man ran away and just escaped certain death.
Starscream “HAHA! How do you like that Lion-O!”
Skeletor “Now that's what I’m talking about!”
“Activate Interlock!”
Skeletor “Interwhat?”
“Dynotherms connected!”
Skeletor “What are you talking about?”
“Infracells up!”
Skeletor “Where is my cell phone! I need to get that Witch Haggar here and get me a DAMN ROBOBEAST!”
“MEGA THRUSTERS ARE A GO! LET’S GO VOLTRON FORCE!!”
Skeletor “Hello?” (Picture Skeletor on a phone) “Prince Lotor? Yes, this is Skeletor! Listen, That tin can of kittens is here and it is RUINING ALL OF MY PLANS TO RULE ENTERINA! Yes? Okay? Well I guess.”
Voltron swooshes in over Castle Grayskull and with it’s blazing sword, swats Starscream out of the sky!
He Man “Thanks Voltron! I owe you one!”
Keith “No problem He Man! We were in the neighborhood and we though AHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”
Voltron then thumbles out of the sky and crashes and burns on the table top.
Skeletor “Hold on Lotor. Something just happened.”
Standing in the mouth of Snake mountain is Cobra Commander and he is holding, again, use your imagination, Megatron and he blasted Voltron down out of the skies when he transformed into the gun.
Cobra Commander “If you’re going to call Snake Mountain home, you should at least be a COOOBRRRAAAAAAA!!!!!”
Skeletor “Lotor. What do you have something for snakes? Seems like I’ve been infested.”
He Man “Time to give up Skeletor!”
Skeletor spins around
Skeletor “And why would I do that He Man?”
He Man “Because I have the worlds first superhero.”
Cobra Commander “And justsssss who would THAT be?”
He Man “I tried to warm you!”
Skeletor “World’s first Superhero?”
“CAPTAIN! CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMAN!”
Skeletor “WHAT?”
A plush Captain Caveman toy is tossed in middle of the table. While it might not be a old toy, who doesn’t love Captain Caveman?
Cobra Commander “COBRA! RETREAT!”
Skeletor “Blast you He Man! You win this time! But I’ll get you next time!”
He Man “HAHA! HAHA! HAHA! You can try Skeletor but I’ll be waiting!”
Captain Caveman “oogie boogie He Man.”
He Man, Lion-O, Voltron, BumbleBee, they all laugh……..
Bester then slowly stands up from behind the table. He is a sporting a big grin on his face. He flew home after the match for Throwback was announced and dug in the attic and pulled out all of his toys from his childhood and set some of them on the table.
His smile though, slowly fades.
“These toys brought me much joy when I was younger Miss Hernandez. All of my Uncles that came to visit my Mom from time to time would bring me a present as long as I stayed in my room and didn’t come out no matter what I heard while my mom and my uncle wrestled in the living room. I got myself quite the collection as you see here.”
Bester stands up straight.
“When I heard that our match is a Toy Chest of horrors match. I thought of my collection and that made me wonder what fun things will be in the toy box? What wonderful objects there will be in the box that I will be able to play with. I can’t wait! It reminds me of this one movie I watched with Mister Jones and Mister Nanook. It was called Seven and had mister Pitt in it. The end of the movie, there was only question. One you will be asking come Throwback! One you too will repeat several times as I pick up the Toy Chest and slowly open the lid, while I carefully pick my new toy to add to my collection, to…”
Bester smirks.
“Share with you Miss Hernandez, and use to explain to you why you were the reason why I lost at Death March. Perhaps, At Throwback, I will live up to the name Craze, the championship that you wish to take away from me, the belt that Mister Jones is holding right now because, when I reach inside that toy chest and pull out my new favorite toy. You’ll be asking just one question.”
Bester cracks his knuckles.
“What’s in the box?”
Bester is no longer smirking.
“I do hope you can come over for our play date. I would hate to not show you what’s in the box.”
Fade out.