Post by Steve Sinclair on Dec 24, 2013 22:02:57 GMT
Jul 28 2006
Barry Burton…..just hearing that name brings a smile to your face, class, style, hard hitting beat reporting, Barry is everything that is right with reporters these days. And today Barry is on the prowl, looking for someone worth a damn to interview. Looking for something edgy, looking for the facts, and if all that fails, just looking for some comments. So Barry picked up the paper and his search is all over with. Yes in the span of 5 minutes at the near by Starbucks, Barry is on the celley hooking up a camera crew to meet him at the mall. Why at the mall you wonder? Why Double J Joe Jones is at the mall to sign autographs as TAG is set to release their new scent, “Yellow Bellied bullshit artists.”
The mall in downtown Philly is packed, mostly with BLPW fans as a small stage has been set up in front of JC Penny with a huge TAG banner as the backdrop of the stage. A line has started to get a picture, auto and a free sample of Yellow Bellied Bullshit Artist. Barry is on the scene with his cameraman Jose and after a short wait, Double J Joe Jones appears to a huge applause form the devoted fans. Wearing the BLPW Tag Team title Double J walks up on the stage and stands behind a podium where he waves to the small crowd.
JJ “Hey now!” Joe starts a brief press conference with, a “holler” to his old man as the kids say these days.
JJ “First of all, I want to say Thank you to everyone who is here today!”
Joe pauses for cheers and what not.
JJ “With out you crazy kids this wouldn’t have happened! I also want to say Thank you to TAG for developing this new scent so fast. I know it was a rush job but I have a feeling that the pay off with be huge. So here we are, today the new scent from TAG body spray is here! Unlike the other scents that have real catchy names, this new scent is aimed at a certain market. A small market of losers, unproven big talk bull shitters who think that having three whole victories in the BPW means something. This new product is aimed at three people. Three hose bags. Three guys who have tried to make us think that beating Sniper, Dork Knight, and Eddie Nevelo was the like beating the upper crust of the BLPW. To tell you the truth I didn’t even knew Eddie Nevelo was employed by the BLPW till Trust Fund beat him. So this scent Yellow Bellied Bullshit artist is dedicated to the EoD. Yes I went to TAG after Blood lust and we sat down to create the worst smelling scent the world has ever known, because when you smell this shit you will think of the EoD. “
There is some laughter form the crowd.
JJ “The EoD has been here what? 15 seconds? And when I heard Damien Dunn, hehe what a name by the way, oh the punch line we can have with his name. Damien Dunn is done of course. Done deal hehe. Anywho, When I heard Damien Dunn and Chad Khaos flapping their long winded pre written speeches I couldn’t help but think, Hey, what have you guys done in the BLPW? Have they won the BLPW Tag Team titles? No! Have any of them won the BLPW World Heavyweight title? NO! And yet, in their minds Hot Stuff Shawn Sanders and I, both former World champions, I’m a two time Tag Team champion and Shawn Sanders was the first ever King of Philadelphia! He beat a CIRCUS BEAR for crying out loud! A BEAR! Has Trust Fund done that? I think not. So naturally I thought these guys just sucked. They stunk to high heaven! So here is a scent that I think represents the EoD.
Now you might think it was hard to come up with this scent, but it wasn’t. It took about 5 minutes. Basically I took a huge dump in a bucket, and had about 15 guys take a piss in the bucket, stir and add some dog poop and bottle. It took longer to come up with a name than it did to make this new exciting scent. And I tell you! You spray some of this on you and the EoD will come running! They will attack you like a bunch of fat chicks at a all you can eat buffet! The EoD LOVES this shit! They spend most of their time looking for this scent! As you know, this new scent is all ready sold out, even at Wal Mart. They have it on back order. The devoted EoD’ers stock pile this shit in their basements. I would have thought they would have ran out of money for this shit but nope, Ryan Hall aka Trust Fund has a HUGE trust Fund his parents set up after his mom married some 98 year old billionaire oil tycoon and Ryan sends Hazy Jay fresh from Juvy hall to buy all he can get his hands on, and then Damien Dunn pours it in a bathtub and gives Chad Khaos a bath in it.”
Joe is smiling through all of this and some of his fans are eating it up.
JJ “Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean no disrespect, after all the EoD is a well accomplished well established tag team here in the BLPW who have excellent win loss records with a closet full of past championships and awards, but if the EoD thinks for one second they are going to walk out of Epic beating…..Sniper! They are dead wrong! We all know in a three on one ass kicking match no one can kick more ass than Sniper and while Shawn Sanders and I sit back and watch Sniper single handily take each and every member of the EoD out, I will take a few seconds of my time to show Damien Dunn, Chad Khaos and Hazy Jay just what the BLPW World Tag Team championship title looks like because it is obvious that this fine stable of homos will never get any closer to this title than when I show it to them. And hey, to show the EoD that there is no hard feelings, I’ll give you a free case of Yellow Bellied Bullshit Artist TAG body spray.
But in all seriousness Monday Night at Epic, When the Pink and Stink Connection featuring Sniper rolls over the EoD, I will have Bowling for Soup come out and play their hit single Almost for them, because thanks to Hot Stuff and I, they will be Almost famous, Almost a champion, Almost a winner in the BLPW. And in case you think I’m joking…..”
Double J takes the BLPW Tag Team title off from around his waist and holds it up to the crowd.
JJ “You have been warned!”
FTB………………………………...........................
Barry Burton…..just hearing that name brings a smile to your face, class, style, hard hitting beat reporting, Barry is everything that is right with reporters these days. And today Barry is on the prowl, looking for someone worth a damn to interview. Looking for something edgy, looking for the facts, and if all that fails, just looking for some comments. So Barry picked up the paper and his search is all over with. Yes in the span of 5 minutes at the near by Starbucks, Barry is on the celley hooking up a camera crew to meet him at the mall. Why at the mall you wonder? Why Double J Joe Jones is at the mall to sign autographs as TAG is set to release their new scent, “Yellow Bellied bullshit artists.”
The mall in downtown Philly is packed, mostly with BLPW fans as a small stage has been set up in front of JC Penny with a huge TAG banner as the backdrop of the stage. A line has started to get a picture, auto and a free sample of Yellow Bellied Bullshit Artist. Barry is on the scene with his cameraman Jose and after a short wait, Double J Joe Jones appears to a huge applause form the devoted fans. Wearing the BLPW Tag Team title Double J walks up on the stage and stands behind a podium where he waves to the small crowd.
JJ “Hey now!” Joe starts a brief press conference with, a “holler” to his old man as the kids say these days.
JJ “First of all, I want to say Thank you to everyone who is here today!”
Joe pauses for cheers and what not.
JJ “With out you crazy kids this wouldn’t have happened! I also want to say Thank you to TAG for developing this new scent so fast. I know it was a rush job but I have a feeling that the pay off with be huge. So here we are, today the new scent from TAG body spray is here! Unlike the other scents that have real catchy names, this new scent is aimed at a certain market. A small market of losers, unproven big talk bull shitters who think that having three whole victories in the BPW means something. This new product is aimed at three people. Three hose bags. Three guys who have tried to make us think that beating Sniper, Dork Knight, and Eddie Nevelo was the like beating the upper crust of the BLPW. To tell you the truth I didn’t even knew Eddie Nevelo was employed by the BLPW till Trust Fund beat him. So this scent Yellow Bellied Bullshit artist is dedicated to the EoD. Yes I went to TAG after Blood lust and we sat down to create the worst smelling scent the world has ever known, because when you smell this shit you will think of the EoD. “
There is some laughter form the crowd.
JJ “The EoD has been here what? 15 seconds? And when I heard Damien Dunn, hehe what a name by the way, oh the punch line we can have with his name. Damien Dunn is done of course. Done deal hehe. Anywho, When I heard Damien Dunn and Chad Khaos flapping their long winded pre written speeches I couldn’t help but think, Hey, what have you guys done in the BLPW? Have they won the BLPW Tag Team titles? No! Have any of them won the BLPW World Heavyweight title? NO! And yet, in their minds Hot Stuff Shawn Sanders and I, both former World champions, I’m a two time Tag Team champion and Shawn Sanders was the first ever King of Philadelphia! He beat a CIRCUS BEAR for crying out loud! A BEAR! Has Trust Fund done that? I think not. So naturally I thought these guys just sucked. They stunk to high heaven! So here is a scent that I think represents the EoD.
Now you might think it was hard to come up with this scent, but it wasn’t. It took about 5 minutes. Basically I took a huge dump in a bucket, and had about 15 guys take a piss in the bucket, stir and add some dog poop and bottle. It took longer to come up with a name than it did to make this new exciting scent. And I tell you! You spray some of this on you and the EoD will come running! They will attack you like a bunch of fat chicks at a all you can eat buffet! The EoD LOVES this shit! They spend most of their time looking for this scent! As you know, this new scent is all ready sold out, even at Wal Mart. They have it on back order. The devoted EoD’ers stock pile this shit in their basements. I would have thought they would have ran out of money for this shit but nope, Ryan Hall aka Trust Fund has a HUGE trust Fund his parents set up after his mom married some 98 year old billionaire oil tycoon and Ryan sends Hazy Jay fresh from Juvy hall to buy all he can get his hands on, and then Damien Dunn pours it in a bathtub and gives Chad Khaos a bath in it.”
Joe is smiling through all of this and some of his fans are eating it up.
JJ “Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean no disrespect, after all the EoD is a well accomplished well established tag team here in the BLPW who have excellent win loss records with a closet full of past championships and awards, but if the EoD thinks for one second they are going to walk out of Epic beating…..Sniper! They are dead wrong! We all know in a three on one ass kicking match no one can kick more ass than Sniper and while Shawn Sanders and I sit back and watch Sniper single handily take each and every member of the EoD out, I will take a few seconds of my time to show Damien Dunn, Chad Khaos and Hazy Jay just what the BLPW World Tag Team championship title looks like because it is obvious that this fine stable of homos will never get any closer to this title than when I show it to them. And hey, to show the EoD that there is no hard feelings, I’ll give you a free case of Yellow Bellied Bullshit Artist TAG body spray.
But in all seriousness Monday Night at Epic, When the Pink and Stink Connection featuring Sniper rolls over the EoD, I will have Bowling for Soup come out and play their hit single Almost for them, because thanks to Hot Stuff and I, they will be Almost famous, Almost a champion, Almost a winner in the BLPW. And in case you think I’m joking…..”
Double J takes the BLPW Tag Team title off from around his waist and holds it up to the crowd.
JJ “You have been warned!”
FTB………………………………...........................